Only one month until Valentine's Day, people! Though I apparently missed the memo announcing that Valentine's Day had been renamed Make a Porno Day. For what other explanation could there be for giving gifts like this "Sexy Little Valentine" from Victoria's Secret:
I don't even know what this is or where one is supposed to where this -- maybe Halloween? (In case you were wondering, the lower bit is actually a thong -- ouch -- and the heart wand comes with.)
Or this little (and I mean little) number from 2(x)ist's Love Me line? (Also, what is it with heart-shaped balloons in strategic places?)
Full disclaimer: I saw the Love Me briefs and trunks on the TODAY Show and was "this close" to buying the spouse a few pairs, until I visited 2(x)ist's website. I love the spouse dearly, and think he's in pretty good shape, but I don't think I could have kept a straight face seeing him parade around in a bright red banana hammock with the words "Love Me" printed across them.
What happened to giving the one you love flowers, or chocolates, or jewelry -- or a vacuum cleaner -- for Valentine's Day?