Herewith, 10 sure-fire ways to embarrass your teenage (or pre-teen) daughter:
- Post embarrassing baby (or toddler) pictures on your Facebook page or blog.
- Wear clothes much more appropriate for a woman half your age, making sure to show lots of cleavage and leg, to school events.
- Sit behind your daughter and her friend at a movie and lean over and provide running commentary in her ear. (Bonus points if she's with a male friend.)
- When picking up your daughter from school or an activity, be sure to call her by her childhood nickname at a volume that everyone for 50 yards can hear.
- Attempt to kiss and hug her -- making loud kissy noises (e.g., "Mwah! Mwah!") -- in public.
- When she's with a group of friends, utter helpful comments about some of her favorite musical groups or songs. (E.g., "Lady Gaga's 'Born this way?' Totally a ripoff of Madonna's 'Express Yourself.' Or "Do you want me to explain to you and your friends what that Rihanna song 'S&M' is about, honey?")
- When going clothes shopping with her, make sure to comment loudly about the really loud annoying music and the pictures of the nearly naked models on the walls so the whole store can hear.
- Post cutesie (or inappropriate) comments on her Facebook wall.
- Grill her new boyfriend, including asking questions like, "Do you plan on having sex with my daughter?" (This is for parents of older teens, but it can't hurt to start young.)
- Sing along with the radio in the car while driving her and her friends to activities.
Got a tip I didn't include? Leave me a comment. (Note: Keep it clean, people.)