Monday, April 7, 2014

Ewe gotta be kidding

I wish I had come up with that title -- "Ewe gotta be kidding" -- for this video of a baby goat-sheep hybrid, known as a geep, recently born in Ireland.

A lot of people think the farmer, Paddy Murphy, is full of blarney. But I gotta admit, having seen a fair amount of goats and sheep -- and zedonks -- that lamb, or kid (lid? kamb?), does look like a geep.

According to Wikipedia (and other sources), sheep-goat hybrids are possible, though unlikely. And interestingly, those offspring that do survive are known to be, uh (I feel a little sheepish even typing it), horny as goats.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

The artist formerly known as Pres

Some might say that the artistic stylings of the former president known as "W.," whose first art exhibit, titled "The Art of Leadership: A President's Personal Diplomacy," opened today in Dallas, are strictly bush league. And they would be correct.

But I have to admit, I kind of like George W. Bush's artwork*, particularly this painting of a rescue cat...

and this portrait of Bush's deceased Scottish terrier, Barney.

I even like some of his portraits, including this one of former Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi...

And this self portrait.

(I refuse to show the shower scene. That would be psycho.)

Sure, sure, if his last name wasn't "Bush" or he hadn't been President of the United States, George W.'s artwork would probably not be shown in a gallery. But hey, I have seen much worse art shows (at actual art galleries and museums) -- and having a hobby, especially one that doesn't harm people, is always a fine idea.

Make art, not war, I say.

So what do you all think of former President Bush's artwork?

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

A brief guide to cat and dog petting

Have you ever wondered if there was a right way or, perhaps more importantly, a wrong way -- or place -- to pet a cat or dog? A way that would not result in the cat or dog hissing or growling, or swatting or biting the hand that pets it? Well, wonder no more, people!

Thanks to the handy "Petting Chart for Your Cat" and "Petting Chart for Your Dog," you will never have to worry about how -- or where -- to pet your (or another's) cat or dog ever again.

(Okay, maybe you should worry a little bit about cats. After all, felines are notoriously fickle.)

Thanks to the spouse, who learned the hard way how to pet a cat, for sending me these charts.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Sweaters for turtles. (Who knew?)

I have never been a big fan of turtles. They're not very attractive. They're not very cuddly. And they don't do much. Unlike cats. (And, okay, dogs.)

But this website may have changed my mind about turtles (and tortoises). Presenting Mossy Tortoise... the maker of sweaters (or cozies) for turtles!

Talk about tapping a market you didn't even know existed!

Here are some of my favorite tortoise cozies.

The birthday candle...

You don't look a day over 100!

The Stegasaurus cozy...


The Easter bunny tortoise cozy....

(Hmm... he doesn't look very hoppy, does he?)

And last, but not least, the roasted turtle, I mean turkey, cozy.

Though you may not want your turtle (or tortoise) to be sporting this end of November, if you catch my drift.

And lest you are thinking, "Okay, J., I'll give you that those turtle sweaters are kind of cute, but who would actually buy one of them?"

Apparently 1,365 turtle (or tortoise) lovers. That's who. (Not bad for only being open 14 months.)

I am so in the wrong business.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Castrating a few Congressman might be more effective

I saw this video titled "Squeal" on YouTube this morning. It was in the "Animals" category of YouTube's "most popular" page. So I immediately thought "Piggies!" (I love a good cute pig video.)

Well, I was sort of right....

Turns out, it's a political ad for Joni Ernst, a Conservative (Republican) from Iowa running for U.S. Senate. And I have to say, I was a bit disappointed.

When Joni said, "I grew up castrating hogs on an Iowa farm, so when I get to Washington, I..." I was SURE she was going to say, "I'm going to castrate some Congressmen!"

Instead, she promises to cut pork.

While there is nothing wrong, in theory, with cutting pork (though pork-barrel spending can be a boon for districts, as it often creates jobs or things helpful to a particular community, which is why Congress men and women favor it), I can't help but think that castrating a few of the pigs in Congress might be more effective.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

What's the matter with being brunette?

As a proud brunette, I have never understood why so many of my sister brunettes dye their hair brown -- especially when the blonde hue looks so obviously fake.

Do any of these celebrities really look better as blondes than as brunettes? (That would be a rhetorical question.)

Not that I am a fan of Kim Kardashian, but wtf?

Do you really think you look better as a blonde, Kim? (Personally, I blame this on Kanye.)

Seriously, what's the matter with being a brunette?

Am I missing something here? (Clearly, I was not in line when Clairol was handing out the blonde Kool-Aid, even though apparently my mother was.)

According to various studies, there is no conclusive proof that gentlemen prefer blondes (despite the successful 1953 movie with Jane Russell, a curvaceous brunette, and Marilyn Monroe, a former brunette). Indeed, in several studies when men were given photos of the same woman with various hair colors (brunette, blonde, and redhead), the brunette was equally or more attractive than the blonde.

Is it because blondes have more fun?

[FYI, I am pretty sure the "blonde" in the photo is my mother, a former model -- and brunette.]

More fun than whom, brunettes and redheads? And what do you mean by "fun"? If by "fun" you mean spending several hours and hundreds of dollars every few weeks at some beauty salon or spa dying your hair, than yes, blondes do have more fun than us brunettes.

By the way, that slogan, "Is it true... blondes have more fun?" which launched a million (more) blondes, was the work of Shirley Polykoff, a talented copywriter who was tasked with helping Clairol make dying one's hair acceptable. Polykoff's campaigns were so successful that between 1956, when she came up with her first campaign, "Does she or doesn't she?" and 1962, sales of Clairol hair dye jumped from $25 million to $200 million. And today, hair coloring is an over billion dollar a year industry. Clearly, someone's having fun.

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against natural blondes. (Okay, maybe a little something. But that's for a different blog post.) I just don't understand why so many perfectly attractive brunettes feel the need to dye their hair blonde. Almost all the dye jobs I've seen aren't even very good. And you can tell by their roots that they are brunettes.


Thank goodness for Katy Perry -- a blonde who became successful after she dyed her mane brown.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

The things cats have to put up with! (Namely dogs)

The things cats have to put up with -- namely dogs.

I mean, can't a feline just relax on the bed without being disturbed by some crazy canine?

Apparently not.

Don't puppies realize that cats need their 20 hours of rest and simply don't have time to play?

Silly puppies.

And when will dogs understand that cats rule (and dogs drool)?

What do cats have to do, put up a sign?