American Idol Season 9: The Top 10 Girls Perform (UPDATED)

Well, I'm glad to see Crystal Bowersox (whom I really like) is out of the hospital and on the stage tonight. Just hope she's really okay. Kara DioGuardi, on the other hand, is making me sick. And Simon Cowell's plunging neckline ain't helping matters.

Anyway, here's hoping the women of American Idol are better than the guys -- because if they suck, I'm outta here (at least until the Top 12 or 10).

First up for the women of American Idol...

Crystal Bowersox: Love. Her. That's all I gotta say. Here's to a long, healthy run for Mamasox on American Idol. As the Fonz would say: Aaaaay (as in I give her an "A").

Haeley Vaughn: Fine. She likes to make hair accessories. Give her a show on QVC or HSN. But get her off American Idol. Sorry, Haeley's waaaay too perky for me, and I just don't think she's that good. And, to quote Randy, "that was excruciating." C-

Lacey Brown: What can I say? I was bored. It wasn't a bad performance, but it wasn't memorable. (Right now, the only thing memorable about Lacey is her hair.) If I'm being generous, B (for blah).

Katie Stevens: She's funny! She's cute! And she can sing! Give this girl a recording contract! (BOO on Randy. And Kara. She sounded FINE to all of us. Though I take Simon's point that we don't know what kind of recording artist she is -- and she needs to let us know.) Screw the judges. I give Katie a B+.

Didi Benami: Is that you, Megan Joy? (Look it up, people.) Though the spouse says Didi has kind of a Norah Jones vibe. As Randy would say, WHA? That was so not Norah Jones. I wish it was Norah Jones. But it was just some chick from Knoxville, Tennessee, who meows. Though it felt more like a hairball to me. C+

Michelle Delamor: Um, what is she wearing around her hips? Is that a tutu? And what is she singing? Creed? Really? Wait, is it Karaoke Night on Idol and someone forgot to tell me? Regardless, that was DREADFUL. (Seriously, is Kara smoking crack during the commercial breaks? And I cannot believe Simon dug that. Something is clearly going on between those two.) I give Michelle's performance a C-.

Observation: As the spouse just stated: They may not be choosing great songs, but these girls can sing. Yes, but as we all know after eight seasons of American Idol, it's all about SONG CHOICE, SONG CHOICE, SONG CHOICE.

Lilly Scott: I like Lilly. I like her voice, and I like that she's a musician. But I fear she may be a one trick pony -- making every song she sings sound the same. And that's fine for a while, but will get boring fast -- and won't serve her well during those theme weeks. But tonight, she's a star -- and the judges love her. Kudos. A- (And I totally -- TOTALLY -- agreed with Simon that it was a very good performance but not great and that Crystal was better. Sorry, my Lilly Lovin Peeps.)

Katelyn Epperly: Is it 1985 and someone forgot to tell me? "Desperately Seeking Katelyn"? Just sing some Madonna and be done with it, Katelyn. Coldplay may have been smart in theory but this version was waaaaay toooooo sloooooooow. I give it a Zzzzzzzzzz (though the spouse kind of liked it -- and Katelyn).

Aside: Anyone else miss Paula listening/watching Kara? I know I do.

Paige Miles: Am a big fan of Kelly Clarkson and "Walk Away," so kind of hard for me to listen to that version. I think Paige has a good voice -- though far from the BEST (sorry Simon) -- and did a nice job, but... but... it was just all right for me, dawg. B/B-

Siobhan Magnus: I think I like it. Though that outfit is wigging me out. I actually think Siobhan has one of the best voices -- and great range. (And, OMG, Ellen's Snuggie comment just cracked me up.) A-. I like Siobhan and hope she goes far.

Well, glad the show ended on an up note, but I think I've had enough American Idol for a while. So after I post the results tomorrow night (or first thing Friday), I'm taking a break.

J-TWO-O out.

UPDATED 3/4/10: So long to Michelle Delamor and Haeley Vaughn. And what is going on with Kara and Simon?!