Friday, September 18, 2009

Sex! Pirates! Football!

This blog post has something for everyone! (Don't like a topic? Scroll down.)

First up, SEX!

Though this should really come as a surprise TO NO ONE.... Once again, a married with children "Family Values" Conservative Republican lawmaker, Michael D. Duvall, of Yorba Linda, CA (aka the OC), has been caught with his pants down.

In this particular incident, Assemblyman Duvall really only had himself -- and his big fat mouth -- to blame. The goods: During a legislative session this summer, which, btw, was being taped on the legislature's in-house TV station, Mr. Duvall, in his infinite wisdom, bragged, in front of a live mike, to his colleague, about his two spanking hot mistresses -- one of whom is (was?) an energy lobbyist he worked very closely with as -- ahem (you cannot make this stuff up) -- vice chair of the Committee on Utilities & Commerce.

TPM has all the juicy (and I mean "juicy") details here, including a (censored) YouTube clip of the incident.

Btw, unlike a certain adulterous governor of South Carolina, Mike Duvall resigned -- albeit only after the story broke this month.

[Note: I know my Anonymous Conservative Republican friend will be jumping up and down about my seeming singling out of a Republican and not listing all the dumb Democratic pols who've been caught with their pants down. And to him I say: It's my blog, and I can write what I like. Don't like it? Get your own blog.]

Next up, me hearties... tomorrow (Saturday) is Talk Like a Pirate Day 2009!

What's "Talk Like a Pirate Day," you ask? Aarrr. Just go to the "one and only, official, accept-no-substitutes Talk Like A Pirate Day Web site" to find out! And be sure to check out the Top 10 Pirate Pickup Lines, which include "Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?" and "Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?" (Hmm... I wonder if Mike Duvall used one of those...)

And last but certainly not least... FOOTBALL!!!

This Sunday, both New Jersey -- I mean New York -- NFL teams have HUGE matchups. HUGE, people. At 1 p.m. The New York Jets (of East Rutherford, New Jersey) take on the New England Patriots at home in the Meadowlands. I think (hope, pray) this will be a close one (with the Jets beating Mr. Gisele Bundchen and the Patriots) -- and a true test of the Jets new defense, coach (Rex Ryan), and QB (Mark Sanchez) -- and will be GLUED to the TV.

Similarly, in another huge divisional matchup, Sunday night the New York Giants (also of East Rutherford, New Jersey) will be taking on the Dallas Cowboys down in Dallas, at the monstrous new stadium down there. And again, I think this one could easily go either way (as do the oddsmakers), though, OF COURSE, I am rooting for the G-Men. Go Big Blue! Earn that $106.9 million, Eli Manning!

Got an opinion on either game or team -- or any of the above? Leave me a comment... on the blog. Bonus points if your comment makes you sound like a pirate!

Wishing you a sun-filled weekend....


Edward P. Schwartz said...

I hope for your sake that the Giants win... because the Jets are going down! The only real suspense surrounding the game is what kind of sleazy dirt each team will uncover about the other.

J. said...

You mean like the Patriots' illegal videotaping of opponents, Edward? As far as I know, Rex Ryan hasn't been fined for illegally videotaping another team.

As for the Jets going down... : X

Dave S. said...

...both New Jersey -- I mean New York -- NFL teams...

No, you had it right the first time. The only NY team has its home opener against Tampa Bay. Hopefully the kick returner will have his yard re-sodded beforehand, just in case.

I will drop my temporary ban on rooting for the Jets since they are playing the top AFC East team. Go Jets!