So on Monday, news outlets everywhere got a hard-on about a new Australian study that seemingly confirmed that women find a bigger penis more attractive. (I particularly liked this piece from Science titled "The Final Word on Penis Size?" because, you know, it made it sound all scientific.)
But what the study, titled "Penis size interacts with body shape and height to influence male attractiveness," really revealed is that women, when faced with images of three faceless, computer-generated naked guys, one of whom was short and paunchy with man boobs, another of whom was average size, had a paunch and looked out of shape, and a third who looked like an Olympic athlete and, oh yes, happened to have a longer penis, the chicks rated the third guy more attractive. I know! SHOCKING.
[Australian tax dollars hard at work.]
Indeed, per the Science article (and the study)
...penis size isn't the only thing that matters. It interacts with other traits [like wallet size*], and its effect depends on whether those other traits are already attractive to begin with. If one of the model men was tall and had a masculine, V-shaped torso with broad shoulders and narrower hips, for example, he was considered more attractive than his shorter, stockier counterparts, regardless of penis size.No, really? Again, let me say, thanks scientists for figuring that out for us. Geez.
What I did find surprising (and amusing) was that the four male scientists who conducted this study (for their own personal edification?) found it, and I quote, "surprising" that if a guy was tall and well built, penis size didn't really make a difference (unless he had a cocktail-size weenie.)
You know what I find attractive? A guy with a big... smile, a big heart, and a big brain.
*Sorry, I couldn't resist.