Worst Halloween costumes?

Okay, maybe these six Halloween costumes are not the worst Halloween costumes ever, but they come pretty close.

First up, from the "Sexy Sesame Street" line, which is just plain wrong, Sexy Cookie Monster:














Also from the Sexy Sesame Street line, whose tagline should be "Turning Tricks for Treats," Sexy Big Bird:














(I drew the line at Sexy Elmo.)

Sesame not your flowering plant of choice? How about dressing up as medicinal marijuana this Halloween?






















Though dressing up as medicinal marijuana beats going trick-or-treating as a(n unused) condom wrapper...






















or a vibrator, which maybe the worst Halloween costume ever. (And yes, this is a real costume, for sale on Amazon.com.)






















Though this Borat in a mankini costume may be a close second.



















Think you know of a worse Halloween costume? Leave me a comment -- and a link.

My kind of exercise video

I had totally forgotten about this video of a walrus working out with a trainer (which my mother sent me a couple weeks ago) -- until this morning. When I went to work out at the gym. And there was this enormous sweaty guy with a mustache working out on the stationary bike in front of me, working up quite a sweat.



And while at first I was incredibly impressed with the trainer (and the walrus) for getting the walrus to do all those exercises, I realized the only reason the walrus was doing those leg lifts and sit-ups was because the trainer was constantly rewarding him with fish.

Now I don't know about you, but I'm guessing that a lot more people would exercise if every time they did a set of reps someone was tossing them a handful of M&Ms or a doughnut or a brownie or a beer. Just saying. Of course, that would probably defeat the purpose, but... ooo Halloween candy!

Teachable moments, courtesy of The Social Network

So on Sunday, the spouse and I took our daughter (who is 12) and a male friend of hers (also 12) to see The Social Network (aka The Facebook Movie). Now before you start to gasp, please know that I told her and the spouse that I did not feel The Social Network was appropriate for 12-year-olds and was very hesitant to take her and her friend. But the spouse had already told her we would take them, so I caved, though I insisted we chaperone.

As predicted, the movie was wildly inappropriate (definitely not PG-13 material, though we all thought it was a good film). And I spent much of the two hours practicing my apology to the boy's parents for scarring their son for life.

Of course, me being me, I used the rest of the time trying to come up with "teachable moments." You know, life lessons that the kids could use and benefit from, gleaned from watching The Social Network. But all I could come up were things like, "don't snort cocaine off your friend's naked stomach, especially at campus parties," "don't drink and code," and "if you're going to have random sex people you barely know, make sure you/the guy is wearing a condom." Which, upon quick reflection, while good advice, did not seem like things one should be dispensing to a 12-year-old.

That said, we did all discuss the movie afterward, particularly the Mark Zuckerberg character (i.e., the guy who founded Facebook), and whether we thought he was a sympathetic character or not (not) and why (he was a jerk and betrayed his best friend, at least in the movie version); if we thought he stole the idea for Facebook (we all did) -- and if that was a crime (undecided); would you betray your best friend for fame and/or fortune (no); and did the kids now want to go to Harvard after seeing the movie (they did not, amazingly, in fact quite the opposite).

So maybe we did all learn something from The Social Network after all, though I still apologized (profusely) to the boy's father, who, much to my relief, told me his son had probably seen much worse (not totally comforting, but let me off the hook). Still, it is going to be a while before I agree to let my daughter go see another PG-13 movie -- and really really do not want her to get a Facebook account. (I know: Good luck with that. Though we will make her wait until she is of legal Facebook age, i.e., 13, which is still waaaaay too young.)

Inside the playboy bunny photo shoot

Being a playboy bunny is hard work, people! The paparazzi constantly getting in your face. Having to constantly look cute and wiggle your assets. Always being on guard against those who are jealous of your talent -- and would stop at nothing to destroy you....



Now that's my idea of a Playmate of the Month. Work it, Bunny!

(Though every time I see that clip I get a wee bit concerned about the way that cat is looking at the bunny. Hope Bruno Bun is OK.)

Speaking of bunny rabbits, in case you hadn't noticed, I have a new addition to the Blogroll, Disapprovingabbits.com, home of the world's most disapproving bunnies. Check it out when your face needs to smile.

[And no, J-THREE-O, we are still NOT getting a bunny. Though thanks for sending me the link to "Bun Bun Bunny Bun."]

The great BlackBerry experiment, Day 3

So a few months ago, the spouse goes to this BlackBerry user conference up in Boston and comes home with a brand-new BlackBerry Torch. Which he offered to me as he already had a smart phone (an HTC Android) and didn't need the BlackBerry Torch.

Now most people would have snapped up that offer -- and smart phone -- in a nanosecond. But I am not most people. Indeed, as I like to tell people, just because I write about technology for a living, that doesn't mean I have to use it.

I proudly used the same IBM ThinkPad laptop for six years, still use a paper weekly engagement desk calendar, and still have the same Rolodex I used at my first job. And I was doing just fine, thank you, with my old mobile phone (which I had only, reluctantly, relatively recently upgraded to because my previous phone didn't have a keyboard for texting).

Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciated the offer (and agree that the Torch is pretty cool looking). I just don't need a smart phone (as I spend all day sitting in front of a computer for work).

Our daughter, on the other hand, who has been using a computer since she was 2.5 and can type rings around me on a BlackBerry, was dying to get a mobile phone that could text. Actually, she was dying to get the BlackBerry Torch, but the spouse nixed that, fearing our monthly data bill would go through the roof. So we decided that I should take the BlackBerry Torch (no fear of using up the data plan there!) and give the kid my mobile.

And so, as of this past Wednesday, I am now the owner of a shiny new BlackBerry Torch. Which the spouse already integrated with my Gmail account -- and threatens to add mobile apps for Facebook and Twitter. Me, I view the Torch much as the passengers aboard the Galactica viewed the Cylons (and jump, literally, every time I see the glowing red eye go off, even though I know it's just telling me I have a new email message).

Also, a note to Research In Motion and AT&T: Being on a perpetual roller-coaster, getting bumped by other cars, and being whirled around in a giant teacup is not my idea of fun.



P.S. We are currently taking bets as to whether I will actually wind up using the BlackBerry beyond answering the phone and clearing email messages off my computer. Care to make a wager?

Christine O'Donnell, Delaware's gift to late-night comedy (and YouTube)

I personally think Jimmy Kimmel and the rest of the late-night talk show comedy crew should send Delaware Republican Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell flowers on a weekly basis, along with a thank-you note, for giving them so much fodder.

Here's the latest Christine O'Donnell bit, courtesy of Jimmy Kimmel Live, which was inspired by her recent quip that the United States Constitution does not call for the separation of church and state (which, technically, if you are a purist, it doesn't):



Note to Jimmy Kimmel: There already is a show like that on TV. It's called Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

And while the Jimmy Kimmel bit is cute, my current favorite Christine O'Donnell spoof, of her "I'm Not a Witch" ad, has got to be this one by Elvira:



Personally, I like to think of myself as Elvira, just with smaller t!t$. ;-)

Glee does the Time Warp, I am Rocky Horror-fied

While I am a fan of Glee, I think the show is wildly uneven -- one week great ("Duets"), one week UGH (see "Britney/Brittany"). But I was excited at the thought of Glee doing an ode to The Rocky Horror Picture Show for its upcoming Halloween episode (October 26, for those of you who still get Fox). That is, until I saw this clip of the Glee cast performing the "Time Warp."

'Glee' Does The 'Time Warp' @ Yahoo! Video

While once I was Glee-ful, after seeing the cast of Glee's take on the "Time Warp," I am slightly Rocky Horror-fied -- and quickly went online to check out the original cast version, to see if I was being a bit too harsh.



Nope. Though I do think Chris Colfer (Kurt Hummel on Glee), did/does a good job at playing Riff Raff.

So fellow Rocky Horror Picture Show and/or Glee fans, what do you think?

The real biggest threat to American families

Unsafe catfish. From Vietnam. (And you thought the Vietnam War was over. HA! It's just that now we're fighting their polluted Commie catfish!)

And you knows it MUST be true, because I saws it on the Internets.



Seriously, I thought this was some kind of joke. Until I actually went to the website, SafeCatfish.com.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for safe, pollutant- (and hormone- and chemical-) free food (which is why we buy all our meat and seafood at Whole Foods) and for the proper inspection and labeling of seafood (and all food in general), but I think President Barack Obama has bigger fish to fry (or bake or saute) right now.

Sorry U.S. Catfish Farmers.

(Note to self: Pick up some catfish at Whole Foods tomorrow.)

And now a song from the President

Was reading The Huffington Post the other day when I came across an article featuring this brilliant modern version of Gilbert and Sullivan's "Major-General's Song" (from The Pirates of Penzance). Instead of the Major-General, however, the song is sung by the very model of a modern U.S. President, President Barack Obama (as portrayed by actor/comedian Ronnie Butler, Jr.).

And now I give you"Obama! A Modern U.S. President," presented by the Light Opera of Los Angeles:

Apple unveils new iPad for cats

Introducing the new and improved iPounce v2.0, as demonstrated by my favorite kitten, Leonardo Da Kitteh. (Why the iPounce 2.0 as opposed to the 1.0, you ask? Because the first version was clawed to death in the lab.)



The new Apple iPounce 2.0 features a large claw-resistant, multi-paw touch screen and comes with many exciting cat apps, such as Mouse!, Get the Mouse!, Kill the Mouse!, and What Was that? Get It! guaranteed to keep your kitty busy for hours (or at least five minutes).

Warning: The iPounce is highly addictive, like electronic catnip for your kitty.

[Thanks to Edward and Alyssa for making this post possible.]

Suddenly everyone's a Jets fan

Okay, maybe not everyone is a New York Jets (of New Jersey) fan, but this football season it seems that the greater New York City metro area (New York-New Jersey-Connecticut) has gone from feeling (Big) Blue to seeing (Gang) Green.

Some may attribute the increase in the number of Jets fans (particularly female fans) to this guy, Jets Quarterback Mark Sanchez, who, btw, has yet to throw an interception this season (a record -- though now watch, this Sunday he'll get picked off three times by the Denver Broncos):






















Or maybe I should say Jets super sexy GQ QB Mark Sanchez:





















But I think the real cause of all the Jets excitement is this guy, Jets coach Rex Ryan:






















Sure, Rex Ryan may not have the sculpted abs of Mark Sanchez (I'm not even sure Ryan has abs), but he is far more entertaining -- and has breathed life (and a lot of unprintable words) into what was considered until recently an also-ran NFL franchise.

There is also the fact that the Jets are Number One in the AFC East (at least this week), with a 4-1 record (though I may have just jinxed them) -- and everyone loves a winner.

Whatever the reason, I believe the Jets bandwagon is big enough for everyone to climb aboard -- even you, Tom Brady.

GO JETS!!!

The mother of all Facebook apps?

I realize this blog post may come back to haunt me when my daughter eventually gets a Facebook account, but this video, from this past Saturday's Saturday Night Live, was just too good -- and funny -- not to share.

And even though this Facebook application (or filter) may only exist in a Saturday Night Live sketch right now, it's only a matter of time until someone actually creates a "Damn It, My Mom Is on Facebook" filter (if someone hasn't already).



[H/T to Magnet for the Absurd, Amy Z.]

Sesame Street's Grover gets his Old Spice on

"Look at yourself. Now back to me. Now back at yourself. Now back to me. Sadly, you are not a monster. But if you listen to Grover, you will know all about the word on...."

Looks like Isaiah Mustafa, the hunky actor featured in those great Old Spice ads, has some competition -- in the form of a furry blue monster. But I don't think Isaiah minds, as it's for a good cause (and his daughter thinks its way cool) -- Sesame Street's Grover teaching kids about the word on (though not as in "let's get it on") via a send-up of Isaiah's now classic original Old Spice ad.

Here's the Sesame Street version of the Old Spice ad, titled "Smell Like a Monster," featuring Grover:



And here's the original Old Spice ad, "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like," featuring Isaiah Mustafa:



I'm on a blog. [Insert Old Spice whistle. Fade to black.]

I'm in love

The moment he looked into my eyes and started licking my fingers, I knew I was a goner.

And when he nuzzled my neck and began purring... I was helpless to resist.

Meet Leonardo Da Kitteh, my new (orange) crush:
























































Full disclosure: Leonardo Da Kitteh does not belong to us, sadly. He belongs to good friends of ours whom we visited this weekend -- or rather they belong to Leonardo (as do I).

Lady Tata sings about ma-ma-ma-mammograms (in honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month)

I just saw this video titled "Mammogram" (sung to the tune of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face") by "Lady Tata" (GagaForTatas), created in honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and had to share.



As all of you know, I am a big advocate of yearly mammograms for women over 40 and/or who have a history of breast cancer in their family. So, if you fall into either category, and have not had a mammogram this year, I encourage you to make an appointment this month, if not today, in honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

And guys (who, btw, can also get breast cancer), I encourage you to make sure that the woman (or women) you love, if they are over 40 and/or have a history of breast cancer in their family, have an annual mammogram.

You can also help defeat breast cancer by donating to one of the many organizations looking for a cure for this horrible disease, such as Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

Ta-ta for now...

You can't spell Halloween without Ho

I guess it was only a matter of time until Victoria's Secret (my nemesis) came out with a line of Halloween costumes. After all, as the folks at Victoria's Secret know, you can't spell Halloween without Ho. Though I think someone in merchandising confused "trick or treat" with "turning tricks."

Also, I'm guessing that these sexy little Halloween costumes were designed for gathering treats indoors (not out), if you catch my drift.

Sigh. Call me old fashioned, but I long for the days when Halloween meant putting on clothes (or sheets), not taking them off.

Btw, is it just me or does the Victoria's Secret Sexy Little Air Hostess (top row, second from left) look a lot like Britney Spears in "Toxic"?

Out of the mouths of tweens

The place: The kitchen here at J-TWO-O Central.

The time: Approximately 7:20 a.m. Eastern.

Spouse to daughter: You look very grown up today.

Daughter to spouse: Why, because I didn't get enough sleep and haven't had my coffee yet?

Twelve going on 40.

Btw, after the spouse and I finished cracking up, J-THREE-O immediately asked if I would be putting her comment on the blog -- and said she was totally OK if I did.

Sexy man, definition of

No, I am not referring to New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, who led the Jets to a 38-14 victory over the Buffalo Bills in Buffalo this afternoon. (Though I know many women who find Mark Sanchez very sexy.)

I am, of course, referring to the man who, after a hard day of computer troubleshooting, slaved over a hot stove and oven all afternoon making his ladies a delicious dinner of homemade Buffalo-style chicken wings (in honor of the New York Jets trouncing the Buffalo Bills -- sorry, Dave S.) and potato skins -- then helped me clean up and... vacuumed the floor (with the Valentine's Day present he gave me).

If that isn't the definition of sexy, ladies, I don't know what is. (And look how cute he looks in his yellow latex gloves and apron. Swoon.)

In the words of Salt N Pepa (and En Vogue), what a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. (Yes, he is.)

Rapping with Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon (video)

Last night on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Fallon and guest Justin Timberlake performed an "impromptu" three-minute ode to or history of hip hop/rap music, starting with the Sugarhill Gang's classic "Rapper's Delight" from 1979 and ending with Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind." And I think it's fair to say that this video clip provides yet more proof why white boys should not be allowed to perform hip hop or rap music, at least not on live national TV (though the bit was pretty funny, albeit probably not to The Roots, Fallon's hip hop backup band).



I love you Justin and Jimmy, but you, sirs, are no Sugarhill Gang.