So on Sunday, the spouse and I took our daughter (who is 12) and a male friend of hers (also 12) to see The Social Network (aka The Facebook Movie). Now before you start to gasp, please know that I told her and the spouse that I did not feel The Social Network was appropriate for 12-year-olds and was very hesitant to take her and her friend. But the spouse had already told her we would take them, so I caved, though I insisted we chaperone.As predicted, the movie was wildly inappropriate (definitely not PG-13 material, though we all thought it was a good film). And I spent much of the two hours practicing my apology to the boy's parents for scarring their son for life.
Of course, me being me, I used the rest of the time trying to come up with "teachable moments." You know, life lessons that the kids could use and benefit from, gleaned from watching The Social Network. But all I could come up were things like, "don't snort cocaine off your friend's naked stomach, especially at campus parties," "don't drink and code," and "if you're going to have random sex people you barely know, make sure you/the guy is wearing a condom." Which, upon quick reflection, while good advice, did not seem like things one should be dispensing to a 12-year-old.
That said, we did all discuss the movie afterward, particularly the Mark Zuckerberg character (i.e., the guy who founded Facebook), and whether we thought he was a sympathetic character or not (not) and why (he was a jerk and betrayed his best friend, at least in the movie version); if we thought he stole the idea for Facebook (we all did) -- and if that was a crime (undecided); would you betray your best friend for fame and/or fortune (no); and did the kids now want to go to Harvard after seeing the movie (they did not, amazingly, in fact quite the opposite).
So maybe we did all learn something from The Social Network after all, though I still apologized (profusely) to the boy's father, who, much to my relief, told me his son had probably seen much worse (not totally comforting, but let me off the hook). Still, it is going to be a while before I agree to let my daughter go see another PG-13 movie -- and really really do not want her to get a Facebook account. (I know: Good luck with that. Though we will make her wait until she is of legal Facebook age, i.e., 13, which is still waaaaay too young.)
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10 comments:
Don't feel bad, junior's "twin" loved it...
If it's any comfort to you, I have a friend who committed a much worse movie blunder several years back -- she took her then-13 year old to see Kill Bill! Yikes!
Well, at least you can scratch Harvard off the list.
I took my then-11-year-old to a football game at my old alma mater a couple of years back. On the way to the game, we were stuck in a traffic jam on Frat Row in front of a house that had an old school bus parked in the front yard.
The young folks had somehow dragged a massive sofa on top of the school bus. Some were lolling about on the sofa doing Jello shots. Others were line-dancing on either side of it. My kid DEFINITELY wants to go to my old college now. Oy.
I am actually surprised that J-Three-O wanted to see such an "intellectual" film. When I was her age, I was all about sneaking into the R rated films I wasn't allowed to see like Friday the 13th and Porky's! Oh, and don't feel bad, my mom took me to see Raging Bull when I was 11, yes, 11! Where every other word out of De Niro's mouth was f*ck and the blood was flying like no tomorrow. I can recall her asking my stepfather to take me to the candy bar every 5 minutes so I wouldn't see what was happening. I am scarred for life! ;P
@Betty Cracker: Go Gators! :-)
@Sugar Daze: My mother just reminded me (though I needed no reminding) that she took me and a friend to see Cabaret. I am hoping this was when it was in re-release, or that it had been playing for years (I don't recall), because I would have been half junior's age otherwise. All that said, though, I had NO IDEA what was going on in the film, as I recall, and the family legend is that I asked my mother, not using my inside voice, what an abortion was during the movie. I believe it was a loooong time after that until I saw another PG-rated movie. :-)
brilliant, jenny, just brilliant
My parents took us to see Blazing Saddles when I was ten. They warned us about the language but had otherwise "heard good things about it" (almost a direct quote). Yay Mom and Dad! Although they almost lost me when I came close to laughing myself unconscious during the beans scene.
Re the teaching moments, if you're doing coke off of someone's non-naked stomach wouldn't the powder get smushed into the clothing fibers? Or was that not the intended lesson?
I am good with teaching momentness of it all, and the high school teacher part of me was the one who triggered the post movie discussion...
There was a lot morally and ethically to digest here, and I for one would much rather have my child be given reason to ponder these larger complex life issues, as opposed to passively viewing the pornography or misogyny that passes for music videos.
@Dave S.: Uh no (and will remind you of those words when your kids reach middle or high school. :-)
@Kendor: Yeah, much better to have her listen to the Grateful Dead. ;-P
Just think how tedious the story would have been had it taken place at MIT. We dodged a cinematic bullet there.
My parents took my siblings and me to all manner of inapproporiate movies when I was young. I think watching sex acts when your mom is within several seats from you is an actual form of birth control.
My mom took me & my brother to see Fitz the Cat when I was the tender age of 8 ~ it took about 10 minutes 'til she realized that Fritz was not related to Felix.
When I was a teen, my dad took me to see Caligula; he soo loves all things Roman.
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