Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Finally, a butt-lifting blog post

I swear to God, you can not make this stuff up (except maybe on Seinfeld). And if I thought it actually worked, I would actually buy one.

What am I talking about? Why, the Biniki ButtBra, of course.

Yes, you heard (or read) me right, ladies (and gentlemen), it's a bra for your butt.

Per the Biniki website, the Biniki ButtBra:

• Holds up the weight of the buttocks
• Smoothes out the back of the thighs
• Lifts and defines the buttock’s curvature
• Maximizes small/flat derrieres [They are so talking to me.]
• Leaves no visible line under most clothing
• Enhances the effect of form fitting clothes
• Adds comfort because of support
• Provides a put together look [Shouldn't that be a butt together look?]

And it's not just for flabby female posteriors. Oh no.

I give you... the Maniki (though I will spare you the visual, which is not pretty, IMHO), which comes in small, medium, and large. (What, no extra large?)

Having a small, flat (make that flabby) derriere, I was initially very excited to hear about this miracle product -- until I actually saw one. I don't know about all of you, but a couple of skinny bra straps ain't no way going to lift, define, and smooth this old booty. What I need are a couple of ace bandages, stat (or, perhaps, a pair of Spanx).

But (butt?) if any of you are inclined to or have tried a Biniki ButtBra or the Maniki please do let me know the results.


amyz5 said...

you know i am insanely jealous that you found this before me, right?

of course you do!

J. said...

@amyz5: Coming from you that is quite the compliment. (You are my idol -- or magnet -- for all things absurd. :-)

Paula said...

Have we got a little friendly competition going here??

J. said...

@Paula: No contest. Amy is the undisputed queen. :-)