Sunday, January 17, 2010

God must be a Jets fan

Though He may love the San Diego Chargers more.

How do I know God is a New York Jets fan? Or that He, in His infinite wisdom, wants me to watch this Sunday's AFC Divisional Playoff Game between the Jets and the Chargers in its entirety?

Why else would Lady Gaga suddenly and mysteriously fall ill Thursday evening -- and suddenly and mysteriously cancel her concert this Sunday, the one my daughter and I (and my friend G., who is also a big-time Jets fan, and her two girls) had tickets to attend, even though Lady Gaga was well enough to perform live on Oprah Friday?

What else could it be but that God wants me and G. to watch the Jets game this Sunday, right? That's got to be it!

Oh wait. I just had a terrible thought. Maybe God is really angry with Jets coach Rex Ryan for showing so much hubris, and with all of us Jets fans for showing too much pride in our team (pride being one of the seven deadly sins), and He wants to smote us (or the Jets), or at the very least teach us a lesson? Oh God, that would be awful.

Wait, I've got it! Fellow Jets fans, let us pray.

Dear Lord, we are gathered here together to pray for the New York Jets. May they win this Sunday's game against the San Diego Chargers. And if, by some miracle, you know, like the one You bestowed upon the New York Giants in 2008*, the Jets make it all the way to the Super Bowl, we Jets fans promise to be humble. Amen.

(I know: Who am I kidding? But can't blame a Jets fan for tryin'!)


UPDATED AT 10:20 AM: This New York Times article, titled "Jets Fans Crave Victory, But Despair Is Never Far," pretty much sums up the mentality of most Jets fans. (For the record, the spouse and I, although Jets fans, picked the Chargers to win in the football pool. Also, author Corey Kilgannon clearly doesn't listen to Joe Benigno, of Joe and Evan, on WFAN, otherwise he'd know that Joe and Evan occupy the midday slot, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.)

*and the 1969 Jets (thank you, Powaqqatsi)



EMM said...

Maybe Oprah kidnapped Lady Gaga and she, Gail and Gaga are going to have a girls weekend. Of course their weekend would include praying for and watching the Jets.

Since my favorite teams are not playing, I'm going to pull for the Ravens.

Anonymous said...

Am praying...going to try to be positive...

Dear it wrong too ask about the Jets right might be kinda busy with wars and Haiti right now etc...

Crap-can't do it: Dear God-please help the people of Haiti-Amen.

Martha Kruy said...

Dan is a true believer and loves your blog. - Martha Kruy

Powaqqatsi said...

The 2008 giants?

What about the Broadway Joe Jets from the 68-69 season? Certainly Ryan's hubris recalls Namath's famous guarantee? And wasn't Sanchez the highest draft pick used for a QB for the jets since.. (wait for it) .... Namath!!

And didn't the 68-69 Jets defeat the Baltimore Colts to win it all -- next up after the chargers they'll face either Baltimore or the Colts.

J. said...

@EMM: OMG! I bet you are RIGHT (except the part about them praying for and watching the Jets)! It's all Oprah's fault!

@Anonymous: I'm all for helping the people of Haiti and have. (The spouse and I made generous donations this week to several charitable organizations, including the Red Cross, Partners in Health, and Doctors Without Borders.) But, not to go all Pat Robertson, if God was looking after the people of Haiti, why did He allow that earthquake to kill so many of them (not too mention all the corruption and senseless killing that has been going on in Haiti for YEARS)?

And isn't God all-powerful enough to both root for the Jets and help the Haitians? I'd like to think God was a good multi-tasker, though then He would be She. ;-)

@Martha: THANK YOU! I didn't know you cared. ;-)

@Powa: I have been brought to task by a SAINTS FAN?! What is the world coming to? ;-) But yes, good points.

TommyMac71 said...

If God were a Jets fan, we would know that by now. And based on the evidence, God hates the Jets and all those who worship the team.

My view of the Lady Gaga thing -- God is clearingn your schedule for the harshest, most incredulous loss yet.

(And I'm a Jets fan. Imagine)

J. said...


Anonymous said...

She (God) answered Jet's fan prayers today!!!

Still not calm yet...CRAZY!!!!

Now, for next week-let the prayer group start!

The Daily Del Franco said...

Must the face of the Jets franchise be Fireman Ed?

(Moment of silence for my Cowboys.)