Anyone know the name of a good exorcist?

I'd like to think I'm not a superstitious person (she said, clutching her lucky rabbit's foot), but I'm starting to think our house may be haunted.

First, our garage door started mysteriously going up on its own, after both the spouse and/or I saw it shut.

Then the spouse mysteriously found himself locked in the garage. (I swear I had nothing to do with it.)

Then my car mysteriously died in same garage -- and every time I put the key in in the ignition to try to start it the headlights maniacally flashed, the wipers started wiping, and the radio blared, even though all those things were off (or had been when I last turned off the car).

Then this morning the stool I was sitting on in the kitchen mysteriously tipped over, sending Felix (my black cat, who was on my lap at the time) and me flying -- with Felix gripping me with his claws for dear life. (Let my just say "Ouch" doesn't begin to cover it.)

I think there can be only one explanation for these mysterious goings on: Poltergeist.

So if any of you knows of a method for safely removing poltergeist or the name of a good exorcist, please let me know. Soon. Before something really bad happens.