Must everything that feels good be bad for us?

Why must everything I like or enjoy be bad for me (or illegal)?

Now before you let your imaginations run wild here, I am not talking about smoking or doing drugs (neither of which I do). Rather, I am referring to a slew of articles that just came out telling us that sugar is bad for us. In fact Gary Taubes, the author of the current most emailed article from NYTimes.com today, "Is Sugar Toxic?" calls sugar poison -- a poison that is slowly killing us. (As I suffer from hypoglycemia, I know sugar is bad for me but poison?) Sugar also apparently causes wrinkles. May as well give me a gun and tell me to shoot myself.

But sugar is just the maraschino cherry (also bad for us) on the hot fudge sundae of things that are bad for us but feel so good. (Seriously, when I think of all the Shirley Temples I downed growing up, and all those maraschino cherries... shudder.)

I love the idea of hanging out at the beach or outside on a warm sunny day, but God forbid I get too much sun. Next thing you know I'll have cancer. Of course, don't get enough sun and you suffer from Vitamin D deficiency and become depressed.

I am also rather fond of fried chicken and french fries. But God forbid I eat too much fried food. I can feel my arteries clogging and hardening just thinking about it.

And milk. I loooove milk. But drink it and you'll get acne -- and worse if you are lactose intolerant, which I, fortunately, am not.

And booze. We all know what happens when you drink too much. But did you also know it can cause premature aging? (Yeah, those two glasses of red wine you had with dinner may be great for your heart but keep that up and you're going to look like a Shar-Pei by the time you're 50.)

And driving. I love driving. Fast. Not Indy 500 fast, but a nice 70 or 75 (or, OK, 80) miles per hour -- when nobody's around me, of course. But no no no. Driving above 55 miles per hour is not only illegal, it's supposedly bad for your car. (Tell that to the Ferrari and Porsche and Aston Martin people.)

And that smartphone, which the spouse gave me as a gift? According to new studies, it may be giving me brain cancer. Gr-reat.

And I am not even going to mention sex (though if you haven't seen this HYSTERICAL video from The Onion on said topic, watch it when you are not at work or surrounded by young children).

So what's a sugar-loving, fast-driving, fried-chicken-craving, sun-worshipping middle-aged woman to do?