American Idol Season 10: Top 12 Guys - UPDATED (with results)

After the HUGE disappointment that was last season's American Idol (aka American Idol Season 9: Simon Cowell's Last Hurrah), I had sworn off American Idol. Or so I thought. However, my curiosity about the new judges, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler, got the better of me. So I decided to check it out.

And, though I reserve the right to change my mind (again), I am back on the American Idol bandwagon -- and ready to blog. (LOVE Steven Tyler. LOVE. And am totally cool with J. Lo too, though last week's crying jag wore on my nerves.)

Here's hoping this year's crop of hopefuls, themes, and song choices are better than last year's!

Now let the real singing commence, starting with... the Top 12 Guys. First up...

Clint Jun Gamboa, singing Stevie Wonder's "Superstition." Good voice, great sneakers. But no way is this guy the next American Idol. I give Clint a B+; J-THREE-O says "I give him an A-."

Next...

Jovany Barreto, aka the shipyard guy with the killer abs, singing some really sappy ballad "I'll Be." And I'll be darned if this guy is the next American Idol. Part of the next cast of Jersey Shore, sure. Idol? No. I'm with Randy Jackson, it was just OK -- kinda karaoke. J-THREE-O gives Jovany a B/B-; ditto.

Followed by...

Jordan Dorsey. OMG, he SUCKS. Sorry Jordan, but you are no Usher. Not even close. In the words of Randy Jackson, very pitchy, dawg. All I can say is OMG, thank God that's over. I give Jordan Dorsey a C-; J-THREE-O is feeling generous and gives Jordan a C.

Next up...

Tim Halperin, who we barely saw during the auditions and Hollywood Week. Shades of Kris Allen? Well, Rob Thomas has nothing to worry about. Yet another karaoke (pitchy) performance, dawgs. SIGH. Don't think Tim is making it into the Top 10. In a nutshell: song choice, song choice, song choice. I give Tim a B- for his weak version of "Come on Over." J-THREE-O was appalled. She gives Tim Halperin a C+.

And...

Brett Loewenstern, whom I cannot stand. He's got a decent voice, but he is just too weird -- and coming from me that says a lot. Fortunately, I don't think his version of "Light My Fire" is going to light anyone's fire. More likely carrot top will go down in flames (at least here's hoping). WHA?! Steven Tyler, wha?! Were we listening to the same performance? Come on, J. Lo! At least Randy noticed Brett was pitchy. I give Brett Loewenstern a B-; J-THREE-O gives his performance a C+, but gives his hair an A.

And now...

James Durbin, screaming yet another song. Paging Adam Lambert. Okay... not hating it. Not loving it. Just not feeling it, though clearly Jennifer Lopez is. Still, Durbin probably has another week coming. And now that Steven Tyler and J. Lo have given James their blessing, no way is he going home this week. Et tu, Randy? Sigh. We give James Durbin's performance of "You've Got Another Thing Comin'" a B+.

Next up, the pride of Long Island...

Robbie Rosen, singing yet another sappy ballad, albeit singing it well -- though another minute of this and I'll be sound asleep. Seriously, Robbie, who died? You're 17 years old. Couldn't you pick something a little younger and more upbeat? Feh. Hated the song choice, but the boy's got a pretty voice. I give him an B+; J-THREE-O gives him a B, for majorly boring.

And now J. Lo fave...

Scotty McCreery, singing -- surprise! -- yet another country song! I admit, I kinda have a thing for Josh Turner, who Scotty sounds a whole lot like. That aside, J-THREE-O and I really like Scotty McCreery's voice, and he seems like a very nice young man. We give him an A/A-. If Scotty doesn't get into the Top 10, I'll be SHOCKED.

Followed by...

Stefano Langone, who is not one of my favorites. And he totally picked the wrong song in Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are," IOHO. Yet another karaoke bar performance. Yawn. (Did someone put Clint Jun Gamboa in charge of tonight's proceedings?) Don't know what Steven and Jennifer and Randy were listening to. Wasn't bad, but it PALED in comparison to the real deal. Could hear it on the radio right now? I don't think so. And I so do not find him the least bit good looking. Ugh. We give Stefano Langone a B.

And now...

Paul McDonald, who totally reminds me of the guy from Lady Antebellum. Or Rod Stewart, with a beard and a mustache -- minus the British accent and multiple wives and kids. Seriously, I'm strangely digging Paul's version of "Maggie May," though it is a little karaoke. And I totally dig his raspy, Rod Stewart-ish voice. Huh. I give Paul McDonald an A-/B+, while J-THREE-O says "B+/B."

Next up...

Jacob Lusk, who for some reason totally reminds me of Geoffrey Holder and has me craving a 7-UP right now. Not my favorite Jacob Lusk performance. The boy's got some mad vocals, but am just not loving the song choice ("A House Is Not a Home"). Still, he did better than some other guys I could name. And I hope he makes it to the Top 12, if not the Top 10. We give Jacob Lusk a B+ (though the song nearly put J-THREE-O to sleep).

And finally...

Casey Abrams, who we loved during Hollywood Week. But we also loved Taylor Hicks. And where is Taylor now? Yup. Sure, Casey Abrams is a great performer, and musician, and can sing, but who exactly is going to buy his records? Sure, applaud all you like, people, but this guy is NEVER going to be a best-selling artist. Still, we give Casey Abrams an A-.

That wraps it up for tonight, Idol fans. Come back tomorrow for a review of the Top 12 Girls. And on Thursday I'll post who was cut.

UPDATED 3/2: Wow. Just learned that last night's show was TAPED last Friday. What's up with that? Also many viewers in the NYC area were unable to phone in their votes due to "technical difficulties." I smell a fix...

UPDATED 3/3: And your Top 5 guys are... Scotty... Jacob... Casey... Paul... and James. No big surprises. And joining them is... Stefano. And there you have it, Idol fans. (Go to my Top 12 Girls post to see which ladies made it into the Top 13.) See you next week. J-TWO-O out.