A Mets fan's prayer on Opening Day

Hi, I'm J., and I'm a (long-suffering) Mets fan (aka a Metsochist).

I have been a Mets fan since I was barely old enough to understand baseball, and though I have tried to root for the Yankees, I cannot. And do not even whisper the word "Phillies" around me.

Each year, on opening day of the baseball season, I think, 'maybe this will be the year -- the year the Mets make it into the playoffs, and possibly the World Series.'

Not so this year.

This year, I am just hoping the Mets stay out of last place in the National League East, a tall order considering their rivals -- the Philadelphia Phillies, the Atlanta Braves, the Jose Reyes Miami Marlins, and the ("How do you like my No. 1 draft picks, chumps?") Washington Nationals.

Seriously, you know you've hit a new low when just about every New York area beat reporter places the New York Mets in fifth place, behind the Nationals. Sigh.

While I have not entirely given up on this season (first pitch isn't until around 1:10 p.m. ET), I think "A Mets Fan's Prayer (or Lament)," which I composed, pretty much sums up this season.

Then again, the spouse and I didn't think the New York Giants had a chance of winning, let alone making it to, the Super Bowl this past season, and we all know how that turned out. (In your eye, Patriots fans!)

Anyway...

A Mets Fan's Prayer (or Lament)

Our Mets team that art in Citi Field,
Harrowing be thy game.
Your pitching sucks.
Your hitting isn't much better
at home as on the road.
Give us this day something to cheer about.
And forgive the Wilpons their debts,
as Picard has forgiven other debtors.
And lead us not into last place in the NL East,
but deliver us unto the playoffs.
Amen.

Play ball! And may the best team in the National League East (not) make it into the playoffs!