Monday, March 23, 2009

Quick, get a virgin, before Mount Redoubt blows its top and Alaska is cloaked in darkness!

Though really, would any one notice? It's, like, light for what, two hours, in Alaska this time of year?

But getting back to today's big story: Mount Redoubt in Alaska is erupting again! And unless the good people of Anchorage (located just 100 miles Northeast of the volcano) want to wind up like the citizens of Pompeii, they better pony up a virgin.

(Btw, the last time Mount Redoubt erupted was nearly 20 years ago, not long after Sarah Heath lost her virginity to Todd Palin. Coincidence? I think not.)

Clearly, the gods are angry at us humans as just last week another (albeit undersea) volcano erupted off of Tonga, in the South Pacific.

What's next, Yellowstone?

Clearly, if we want to appease the gods, and save our national parks, there is only thing to do: make a sacrifice.

I believe King Julien in Madagascar 2 does a good job of explaining how the process works:

(For the latest news and observations about Mount Redoubt, visit the Alaska Volcano Observatory's website. FYI: We are up to a Code Red alert.)


Dave S. said...

Palin should take a cue from her former running mate and refuse federal funding for this pork-laden volcano observatory. Like it's even doing anything these days. "Fulfilling a scientific mission" - pssht. Plus it's staffed entirely by snail darters and spotted owls.

J. said...

Excellent point, Dave!

Let them eat ash cake!

Powaqqatsi said...

Interesting, if unsettling, news.

The last 4 eruptions (1966 - 1989) of that mountain have had a Volcanic Explosivity Index (VEI) of 3. For comparison, Krakatoa 1883 was a 6 and Mt St. Helens 1980 & Vesuvius 79 AD were both 5's. Nevertheless, it's 1989 eruption was reportedly the second most costly in US history after Mt St. Helens 1980.

It's a big volcano and I wonder if it's capable of a much larger (more explosive) eruption ~ one that could significantly threaten Anchorage.

The Krakatoa 1883 eruption had worldwide atmospheric effects that lasted ~ 2yrs afterwords and sent shockwaves, detectable by instruments, that circled the globe 7 times.

Moishie the Vulcanologist said...

Though really, would any one notice? It's, like, light for what, two hours, in Alaska this time of year?

I'm sure this is backwards.... I was in Alaska some years ago in June and it was light for, like, 23 hours. So by late March wouldn't it be light for more than 12 hours a day?

Always trying to help....

Powaqqatsi said...

we're about halfway between the winter solstice & summer solstice so I think your right.

J. said...

Thank you, Powa, for providing this blog some scientific heft. (Slow day at the X-ray machine? ; )

For the record, I was being sarcastic -- and Anchorage gets around 11 hours of sunlight late March. Jeez.

Powaqqatsi said...

I am off during the day today enjoying the sunshine (between episodes of browsing). I work this evening.

It's gorgeous out today, blue skies without a trace of volcanic plumage.

Dave S. said...

On the other hand, Wednesday will see an explosion/fireball on the Potomac as CBS blows up a rowing shell while filming a TV pilot. I heard about this from our PTA president.

I know my past record makes me seem like The Boy Who Cried Detonating Shell but I did not make any of that up (apologies to D. Barry).

EMM said...

Reminds me of Joe Versus the Volcano, a very underrated Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick. Added bonus with Abe Vagoda as the Waponi Chief.

I'm bummed that I'll miss the big hullaballoo on the Potomac.


J. said...

I looked everywhere for a volcano sacrifice clip from Joe Versus the Volcano, EMM! But King Julien was all I could find on the subject. : ( (Btw, I loved that movie.)

Dave S. said...

Correction: It was not McCain, but Bobby "Kenneth" Jindal who mocked volcano research funding. Please amend my original comment to read "future running mate."

J. said...

Duly noted, Dave. (I figured that was who you meant. ; )