Monday, June 11, 2012

Mother-daughter chats

There's nothing like a little mother-daughter chat to let your daughter know how much you care.

[Both conversations printed below actually took place. Only the names have been changed, to protect the embarrassed.]

*     *     *

Daughter: I just had a scary thought. Somewhere, out there, walking the earth, is my future husband.

Me: Think how scared he must be.

Daughter: Thanks mom.

*     *     *

Daughter (recounting her day at school): ... and then I helped S. sort out her love life. She's pretty upset.

Me: What's up?

Daughter: This boy told her he really likes her, but she doesn't like him -- at least not that way. But she still wants to be his friend.

Me: Did she tell him that?

Daughter: Yeah, but the problem is, they were going out and then they broke up, but she still talks to him and gives him hugs. [FYI, the individuals being discussed are eighth graders.]

Me: Well, there's the problem!

Daughter looks at me quizzically.

Me: Here's the deal. Guys, especially teenage guys, think with their penis. So even though she may have told him she wasn't interested in going out, the fact that she is still talking to him and hugging him sends a message to the penis that she secretly wants to have sex with him.

Daughter: Ew, that's gross, mom. I'm going upstairs to do my homework.

Daughter heads up the stairs.

Me (shouting): You're welcome!

Note: To read more motherly advice re the teenage male brain, see my post titled "Explaining boys to your daughter."


Anonymous said...

Those nuggets will be cherished in the future!

Lizzy said...

That is SO funny!!! You could sell that mother daughter dialogue to a TV sitcom!! Keep them coming, I had a good laugh!

The Daily Del Franco said...

I remember when "going out" meant the occasional lunch in the cafeteria and talking on the phone every night...(that was all I could handle back in the day; I can imagine it's much more complicated now with the iPhone-era)

J. said...

@Anonymous, I hope so!

@Lizzy, :-)

Btw, to read more motherly advice re the teenage male brain, see my post titled "Explaining boys to your daughter."

@The Daily Del Franco, When was that, in 1932?