Thursday, May 26, 2011

Hating James Taylor

I realize that hating James Taylor is like saying "I hate America," or "I hate apple pie," or "I hate kittens." For the record, I love all those things. I just hate James Taylor. Okay, I don't actually hate James Taylor. I just hate James Taylor's singing. Okay, maybe hate is too strong a word, but hearing James Taylor sing a song makes me want to curl up into a ball and die -- or threaten to cut a puppy until someone turns the music off.

Don't believe me? Ask the spouse. Or ask to see the closed-circuit footage of me at Whole Foods this morning when they started playing James Taylor's "Your Smiling Face."

Oh wait, here it is. (I'm the grouchy one in the trash can.)



I realize this is a slightly irrational reaction to a guy whom millions (maybe even billions) of people adore and pay good money to see in concert again and again and again. But surely I can't be the only one feels this way, right? [Are those crickets chirping? It's gotten so quiet in here.] RIGHT? [Come on, there must be one blog reader who isn't a fan of James Taylor's music. Though actually, it's not his songs that I have a problem with. It's his singing of them.]

Okay, FINE. If none of you has a problem with James Taylor's singing, there must be someone out there whose singing drives you nuts. And I want to know who it is. Via the Comments. [I'll start the ball rolling by suggesting Lionel Ritchie.]

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tiny Tim?

Anonymous said...

Tiny Tim is just James Taylor with a ukelele....

Anonymous said...

Christopher Cross and Barry Manilow

Anonymous said...

Had an issue since hearing he was less then kind to wife Carly (who lived across the street from our High School).

Agree with above-noise!

Sugar Daze said...

Lady Gaga? Or maybe that's due to the fact that my kids have made me listen to Judas about 50 times today and counting....

Another David S. said...

Shania Twain. The sheer and utter *blandness* of her singing offends me to no end. As do the ritualistically Autotuned voices of so many current popstars. Why must they all sound like the default outgoing message on my phone's voicemail?

J. said...

@Sugar Daze, I hear you re "Judas." Can't stand that song (ditto J-THREE-O), though we are OK with Lady Gaga. She's just way overplayed right now, at least here in the States.

@Another David S. At the risk of you now claiming that there's no way we could be related... I really like Shania Twain. One man's Shania Twain is another woman's James Taylor?

@Anonymous 1 & 2: Not sure if you are the same person or two different people (can you let me know via email?) but very funny. :-)

@Anonymous 3, I so second that, though I bought Christopher Cross's eponymous debut album when it came out and must have listened to it dozens of times. (Hangs head in shame. Worse: Now hearing "Sailing" in my head.)

Laura said...

I have a hard time hating him ever since I learned that he comes to visit the wounded soldiers at the military hospital where my husband works, and just sits around with his guitar playing music for whoever's around. Granted, the staff appreciate him more than the troops, but they work pretty damn hard too! So sorry, he's not on my hate list even though his songs take me back to my best suicidal period of my life when I was young and stupid.

J. said...

@Laura, just to clarify or reiterate, I don't hate James Taylor the person, whom I know very little about. It's something about his songs -- the way he sings them -- that bugs me, kinda like nails on a blackboard.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more! Listening to James Taylor is like finger nails on a chalkboard, or worse, listening to my 9 and 11 year old girls trying to sing "Judas" (over, and over, and over again!) At least Gaga can sing.

Kendor said...

I will go on the record as a JT admirer (especially from a musician's standpoint). He was one of my first serious interests back in 1970 when I was first getting into music.

I will confess to recently downloading the James Taylor/Carole King Documentary about the Troubador and their various singer song writer buds. I watched this clandestinely on my Droid not to trigger the potential puppicide activities of Mrs. Two-0

J. said...

Anyone have the name of a good divorce attorney?

Dave S. said...

I'm not the biggest JT fan although I recognize his talent, and he did have a good guest appearance in a classic Simpsons episode. His vocal stylings, however, would not accompany me to the desert island.

Beverly Baker said...

You are not alone - James Taylor is the WORST. His voice is like nails on a chalk board. It is a complete mystery to me why people like him.

My boyfriend, Brian, 1st learned of my loathing for Taylor when I spent the night one night and the radio was left on. Much to my horror, one of his songs came on and from a dead sleep I shot up like a bolt and exclaimed, "Turn that off!"

We were at a restaurant one night and I suddenly had a sharp stabbing pain in my head - I don't usually get headaches, so it was pretty odd. When I mentioned it, Brian said, "its probably because James Taylor is on". Sure enough, I listened for it and there it was. The stabbing pain left shortly after the song ended. I think I didn't hear it at 1st because my mind was trying to protect me from the horror.

As you can see, his voice creates physical aversion to it even if I'm UNCONSCIOUS to it.