I realize that hating James Taylor is like saying "I hate America," or "I hate apple pie," or "I hate kittens." For the record, I love all those things. I just hate James Taylor. Okay, I don't actually hate James Taylor. I just hate James Taylor's singing. Okay, maybe hate is too strong a word, but hearing James Taylor sing a song makes me want to curl up into a ball and die -- or threaten to cut a puppy until someone turns the music off.
Don't believe me? Ask the spouse. Or ask to see the closed-circuit footage of me at Whole Foods this morning when they started playing James Taylor's "Your Smiling Face."
Oh wait, here it is. (I'm the grouchy one in the trash can.)
I realize this is a slightly irrational reaction to a guy whom millions (maybe even billions) of people adore and pay good money to see in concert again and again and again. But surely I can't be the only one feels this way, right? [Are those crickets chirping? It's gotten so quiet in here.] RIGHT? [Come on, there must be one blog reader who isn't a fan of James Taylor's music. Though actually, it's not his songs that I have a problem with. It's his singing of them.]
Okay, FINE. If none of you has a problem with James Taylor's singing, there must be someone out there whose singing drives you nuts. And I want to know who it is. Via the Comments. [I'll start the ball rolling by suggesting Lionel Ritchie.]
[Beluga Thinks: "I'll Show THESE Kids."]
50 minutes ago