Monday, May 10, 2010

How to have a better marriage (or relationship)

Introducing the Better Marriage Blanket!

(H/T to friend of the blog Powaqqatsi for sending me the link.)

Made from the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons!

And the Better Marriage Blanket, a beautiful, soft odor-fighting comforter that comes in beige or white, can be yours for the low price of $29.95 (plus shipping and handling)! That's one-tenth what it would cost you to cuddle up with a divorce attorney for an hour!

And while you're at it, why not consider the Brookstone Anti-Snore Pillow?

Not only does the Brookstone Anti-Snore Pillow prevent snoring, it turns your middle-aged, balding, paunchy spouse into a sexy, fit hunk with a full head of wavy dark hair! I think we'd all pay $99.95 (plus shipping and handling) for that ladies, yes?

(Full disclosure: The spouse purchased an anti-snore pillow a while ago, albeit not from Brookstone, and he still looks the same. He also still snores, though much less often, though that's because he discovered his septum was deviated and had it fixed. But I do think the anti-snore pillow helps with soft pallet issues, another cause of snoring.)

More on how to get him to stop snoring here.

Wishing you all a good night (and a better marriage/relationship)...


Dave S. said...

Doesn't the BMB cost about $120 (3 easy payments of $39.95)? That's an awful lot to pay to prevent the occasional Dutch oven.

Powaqqatsi said...

According to the site, it's about $30 for a twin bed, $50 for a queen bed and $60 for a king bed which are probably more reasonable prices for a comforter made from the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.

I know you'll want one for Father's Day Dave S!

Sarah Lindahl said...

According to the little commercial on the site, the blanket catches the offending molecules when they pass through the blanket, and it says nothing about when they waft UP. Does it catch those too? Because my husband does some purposeful wafting.

Maybe our problems are too big for the marriage blanket to solve.

Kendor said...

A shout out to our beloved friend (he can hide behind anonymity in the blogosphere) who in an inspired moment nearly 30 years ago penned the immortal country tune: "You Don't Love Me Because I F*rt too Much." It was actually authentic enough sounding musically that his then uninitiated girl friend (now wife) to have heard it as "I'm Far too Much" (which hold sort of true anyway). Little did she know that she was going to need the marriage blanket. And perhaps the yet unadvertised "Pro" version :-)

Anonymous said...

The blog should have a sexism filter !!!! I notice it is all about "him, him, him !!!" Woefully inaccurate IMHO.....This is one area where empirical equality does not require legislative intervention or Supreme Court ruling !!!

Anonymous said...

My favorite kids show:

Gassie the Wonder Dog