Tuesday, June 2, 2009

How to get him to stop snoring... or a non-engineer's guide to getting a good night's rest

Tired of your mate keeping you up at night with his (or her) snoring? Wondering which over-the-counter cures work the best? Well, wonder no more my friends. J-TWO-O is now your one-stop-blog for the skinny on snoring cures.

And speaking of skinny, do you know that skinnier people (are you paying attention guys?) snore less than heavier people? Indeed, excess pounds are a primary cause of snoring -- as are smoking, drinking alcoholic beverages close to bed time, and sleeping on your back.*

After doing some -- ahem -- field research, I came up with the following Snore Prevention Methodology Table, which rates different anti-snoring methods/products on a Zzz scale. The more Zzz's, the more effective the product or method was at preventing snoring -- or helping the person sleeping next to or near the snorer get a decent night's rest.

(NOTE: Click on the table to see a larger view.)

Here's wishing you a good night's sleep tonight and every night.....

*Note: There are also serious medical conditions that result in snoring, such as sleep apnea, but I'm not going to go into that here. Just click on the link to learn more.


Dave S. said...

If you have never been in the same room (or campsite for that matter) with someone suffering from sleep apnea, you will never know what it's like to spend your hours of forced wakefulness going back and forth between "Good Lord, stop snoring!" and "Good Lord, start breathing!"

It did not help that the someone in question was overweight, smoked, and drank.

He got his throat bored out (literally) but it did not help much.

Kendor said...

Dave, your story brought to mind the one about an unnamed relative of mine who slept during the summer months with his first floor bedroom window open. Said relative's bedroom window faced the neighbors driveway, which was the only distance separating the two houses. The fabled snoring not only kept the relative's spouse awake, but the neighbors too.

Verdict is out on the Brez solution, but it at least seems to have shielded me from the proverbial frying pan, or the guest room.

Lizzy said...

Separate bedrooms (on different floors for maximum REM sleep) are a Godsend for the sleep-deprived significant other.

I do agree with Kendor that weight definitely contributes to heavy snoring, as does alcohol.

But life is too short to be chronically sleep deprived - get together in the bed to relax, watch tv, read, have fun or snuggle with the kids on the weekends. Otherwise send offender to Siberia (a/k/a guest bedroom) to sleep.

Problem solved: everyone's happy. No need to be embarassed. Just because Archie and Edith slept in a bed the size of a college dorm single bed is no reason to follow their example. No wonder Edith was so passive aggressive during the day!

Powaqqatsi said...

Our mutual friend should try one of these, Dave S.

While chopping out the tonsils & adenoids and cleaving the soft palate all seem like more definitive solutions, unfortunately, they don't stop the tongue from closing off the back of the throat like this device does when used properly.

mellomouse said...

if only i can use the pan too! LOL
best option now is to kick him out the room once the orchestra begins ;)
but i miss my husband. sigh...