Maybe the Jets should change their name...

to the New York* Beefcakes.

First they sign a quarterback, Mark Sanchez, who keeps showing up in GQ (often half dressed)...






















(Sigh. I never get tired of looking at that picture.)

And then they sign a backup quarterback, Tim Tebow (though who really thinks Tim Tebow is going to be a "backup" for long?), who is a spokesmodel for Jockey underwear!












(Mmmm... Lord give me strength.)

Not that as a green-blooded female Jets fan I'm complaining -- about the scenery. But I worry that this battle of the hunky quarterbacks could be a distraction.

The Tim Tebow signing has already created a media circus (though I thought Tebow carried himself well at yesterday's press conference -- and was pleasantly surprised by how humble and sincere he came across.) Do we really need a war over which GQ QB is the hottest?

*or, more accurately, the New Jersey

Mets-och-ism (Or how to tell if you are a Metsochist)

Do you have season tickets to Mets games at Citi Field?

Do you watch Mets games beyond the ninth inning, even when you have to get up for work at 6 a.m. the next morning?

Despite being of otherwise sane mind and fully cognizant of the Mets record and history, do you still watch every game and not-so-secretly hope they will win, even when Johan Santana gives up six runs in the first inning?

Then you, my friend, are a Metsochist -- and suffer from Metsochism.

Mets·och·ism (noun):
1 : a sports-related perversion characterized by pleasure in being subjected to pain or humiliation on a nightly (or daily) basis by one's baseball team
2 : pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering

— Mets·och·ist (noun): one who takes part in Metsochism

— Mets·och·is·tic (adjective)

— Mets·och·is·ti·cal·ly (adverb)

Sadly, as far as I know, there is no cure.

Go Mets!

So You Think You Can Ice Dance (UPDATED)

While watching the compulsory dance section of the Olympics Ice Dancing competition last night, the spouse asked, "So what makes ice dancing an Olympic sport?"

Good question. And one which I did not have a snappy response to (for once).

My reply: "Let's look it up online!" (Btw, that is my go-to reply now for most questions. Thank God for Al Gore and Jimmy Wales.) To save you the trouble, though, here's the Wikipedia entry for "Ice dancing."

Moments later the spouse again turned to me and asked, "What's the difference between ice dancing and pairs figure skating?"

While an ice dancer or pairs figure skater (or Wikipedia) would rattle off a thousand words of explanation, I can provide you with just two: "no jumps." Not allowed. Not even half jumps.

The way I (and many others) see ice dancing, it's basically ballroom dancing with ice skates. And no, I don't see "Ice Dancing with the Stars" showing up on ABC any time soon, though I could see "So You Think You Can Ice Dance" showing up on Fox next fall/winter.

As for last night's ice dancing compulsory dance, titled "Tango Romantico" (because, what, the tango isn't romantic enough?), the top four finishers were:

1	DOMNINA Oksana SHABALIN Maksim	43.76
2	VIRTUE Tessa MOIR Scott	42.74
3	DAVIS Meryl WHITE Charlie	41.47
4	BELBIN Tanith AGOSTO Ben	40.83

Next up: the original dance, Sunday night, followed by the free dance on Monday night. Woohoo! (Btw, to see the rest of the ice dancing compulsory dance results as well as the schedule for the next two Olympics ice dancing events, click here.)

Slightly O/T: While a number of my female friends have the hots for American alpine skiier Bode Miller, after watching Aksel Lund Svindal ski and be interviewed last night I turned to the spouse and said "Honey, you know I love you and think you are the handsomest man in the world, but Aksel Lund Svindal may be a close second."

UPDATED 2/21/10 P.M.: Two words: USA! USA! First Bode Miller gets the gold in the Men's Super Combined. Then the U.S. Men's Hockey Team beat the Canadian Hockey Team tonight, 5 - 3. Awesome. (Though the men's Curling team lost to Great Britain and will most likely not medal. Boo. And my man Aksel was disqualified during the slalom portion of the Super Combined.) Am now watching ice dancing -- and I swear it is "So You Think You Can Dance" on ice. We've had Cowboys on Ice, Bollywood on Ice (Meryl Davis/Christopher Atkins - I mean Charlie White), the Hora on Ice (or as I liked to call it, Fiddler on the Ice), Flamenco on Ice (Tessa Virtue/Scott Moir), and now a traditional Moldavian Folk Dance (Tanith Belbin/Ben Agosto). (Huh?! Wha?!) So after the Original Dance, it's Virtue/Moir followed by Davis/White and then Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin. Free Dance coming up tomorrow. Woohoo!

UPDATED 2/23/10: And the gold medal goes to... the Canadians, Virtue and Moir (guess being Virtuous pays ;-); Davis and White score the silver; and the Russkies, Domnina and Shabalin, get the bronze. And Belbin and Agosto came in fourth. Go North America! Tonight... more Bode and Aksel, though I'll mainly be watching American Idol, aka the Olympics ratings killer.

Tiger Woods kicks off 2010 Mea Culpa Tour with press conference

Tomorrow at 11 a.m. ET at the Clubhouse at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra, Florida, golfer Tiger Woods will be kicking off the 2010 Tiger Woods Mea Culpa Tour.

Already generating the kind of buzz only befitting perhaps the world's greatest golfer and philanderer of our time, the Tiger Woods 2010 Mea Culpa Tour is also scheduled to stop at The TODAY Show (co-host Matt Lauer is an avid golfer) and on Oprah Winfrey's couch -- and no doubt at several major upcoming PGA tournaments. (The Master's begins just after Easter. Watch Tiger rise up and ascend to golfing heaven!)

Interestingly, according to National Enquirer executive editor Barry Levine (as reported on ESPN's E:60), the whole Tiger Woods mistress story was almost a non-story. Almost. As we all know what eventually happened. (Fore!)

Me, I don't really care about Tiger. Yeah, I'm a bit disappointed that the image was far from the reality. But that's the problem with our celebrity- and athlete-worshiping culture. We forget that celebrities are just actors and athletes are not heroes. They are just people who are really good at what they do -- and happen to get a lot of press coverage.

I just hope that Tiger's little coming out party won't hurt sales of the Tiger Woods Mistress Commemorative Plate Collection. (Order your set today! Supplies are limited!)



Note: For a more serious take on -- and good insight into -- Tiger Woods's upcoming no-questions-asked "press conference" check out PR Guru Peter Shankman's blog. (Shankman is also scheduled to talk about Tiger on Fox tomorrow at 11:10. But I won't hold that against him.) I also liked Richard Sandomir's article for The New York Times, "Woods Blazes a New Trail for the Celebrity Apology."

UPDATED 2/19/2010: Watched the Tiger Woods press conference and composed the following haikus:

Where were the show girls?
"Sorry" no longer hardest word.
Sorry, Elton John.

Tiger the Buddhist
Meditates on his options
Sticks it to Brit Hume

My 10-yr-old nephew pitches better than Oliver Perez... Jets finally sign a cute QB... Switzerland bans nude hiking

Big, big, big weekend Tri-State area sports fans! The Mets nearly swept the Nationals. (Though really, that's not much of an accomplishment.) The Red Sox swept the Yankees. (Pathetic.) The New York Jets, in a move that surprised and thrilled their fans, took USC quarterback Mark Sanchez as their fifth draft pick overall. And the Swiss canton of Appenzell Innerrhoden voted to ban nude hiking. (Okay, that is not technically a New York area story, but I knew fans of the blog, many of whom are born or naturalized New Yorkers, would want to know.)

First to the Mets and pitcher Oliver Perez. Never has $36 million dollars been so poorly spent or invested (well, except maybe for the $300 million Fred Wilpon invested with Bernard Madoff) -- the price the Mets paid to retain starting pitcher Oliver "Ollie" Perez. You would think for $36 million Perez could throw the ball at least 90 mph over the plate and get a few strike outs. But no. Once again the Mets $36 million man went down in flames, causing the Mets to lose 8 - 1 TO THE LAST PLACE 3 (now 4) - 13 WASHINGTON NATIONALS, making Perez 1-2 with a 9.31 ERA, and putting the Mets in second to last place in the NL East. Pathetic.

The New York Yankees were almost equally pathetic over the weekend, losing to the Boston Red Sox three games in a row. Things got so bad that in the fifth inning of Sunday's game that the Bo Sox Jacoby Ellsbury was able to steel home against Yanks pitcher Andy Pettitte. And I got a news flash for all you Yankees fans: I doubt that Alex Rodriguez returning to the lineup on May 15 is going to make a big difference. Some difference, sure. But unless the Yankees do something about their pitching/pitchers, they aren't going to even make it to the playoffs this year. (Ditto the Mets.)

And in much happier sports news: The New York Jets selected USC quarterback Mark Sanchez in Saturday's NFL draft, to much cheering and high-fiving from New York Jets fans, including WFAN's Craig Carton, the guy who last summer led a rally to get Brett Favre to the Jets. 'Nuff said.

It is waaaaaay too soon to say/predict if Mark Sanchez will be the franchise quarterback the Jets and their fans have been praying for, but from all the scouting reports, the guy shows a lot of promise. And did I mention he is way cute? (Seriously, though, could things really get much worse for the Jets? Great move, Mike Tannenbaum.)

In other Jets news, just before the draft Saturday the Jets apparently contacted former Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress's agent about a possible deal. Seriously? Yeah, seriously. (Huh. I had no idea you could play professional football while serving a prison term.)

And with that, I'm off to hit the showers.