Monday, August 26, 2013

Hey lady, I bet you wouldn't tell a guy he was tiny

I know I have written about boobs and bras and bra fittings before, but indulge me again, please, while I vent for a minute.

As many (if not most or all) of you know, I am petite -- as in short and thin and not particularly buxom (i.e., a lifetime member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee). And although there are many worse things than being petite, I am very self conscious about it, particularly when buying clothes and bras. And I particularly hate it when people, especially ones who should know better, make a point of how "tiny" I am. (Though, I admit, it beats being told "you could stand to lose a few pounds" or "you'd be cute if you lost some weight," both of which I heard many times in my late teens and twenties.)

That is why I dislike bra shopping -- and generally avoid bra fitters. But I was in need of a new strapless bra. So I took myself off to a department store, confident I would find something without having to resort to a specialty shop or a bra fitter.


Seriously, folks, we need to do a better job teaching Math in this country. I must have tried on half a dozen (maybe more) bras all labeled 32B -- all of which were different sizes. WTF bra makers? While I know cup sizes vary wildly, thirty-two inches should be thirty-two inches. Frustrated, I left the department store without making a purchase. But then I made the stupid mistake of going into a high-end lingerie shop.

No sooner had I walked through the door and said I needed a strapless bra than the saleswoman had ushered me into the back room and gotten me to remove my top -- only to exclaim "You're so tiny!" Which she then repeated several more times, for emphasis, shaking her head.

For those of you who think that's cute or funny, imagine a guy going to get underwear and having the salesperson size him up and exclaim "You're so tiny!" Or a woman being told "You're so fat!" or "Your breasts are so huge!" It would never happen. But I am constantly subjected to this barrage -- not just by salespeople but by women I meet and know. And I'm sick of it.

(For the record, I used to weigh 30 pounds more. Then I got Lyme disease. Then my father dropped dead. Then the guy I trusted to manage my money started drunk dialing me. (Turns out he was an alcoholic and his wife was leaving him.) So I lost a few pounds. After years of yo-yo dieting, it was kind of fun to be skinny, but shopping in the kids department for your clothes and having women resent you just because your skinny gets old fast.)


GSA said...

I'm sorry that people are so insensitive! How about coming up with a response to those people -- not nasty or impolite, but to make them aware? For example, "I know you mean well, but your comment could really be damaging to someone recovering from hepatitis or bulimia, so could we please just stay with the proper fit?

Another David S. said...

You: "I may be tiny, but at least I'm not rude. Also, I bite."