Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I'm boycotting Valentine's Day

I have always loathed Valentine's Day, that incredibly manipulative holiday -- or as the spouse (then boyfriend) used to refer to it, the florist, chocolatier, and jeweler conspiracy.

Sure, a lot of it is -- or was -- sour grapes, being the only woman in my dorm at college who didn't receive something (or feeling that way). Never having a boyfriend on the big day, or having one who scoffed at the idea of celebrating Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day?! Who needs it?! I thought. (The answer, of course, was, I did.)

Then, after years of togetherness (and repeated refusal to acknowledge February 14 as more than another day on the calendar), the spouse began giving me presents on Valentine's Day. Turns out, he's a pretty good gift giver.

But really, after you have received the vacuum of your dreams (technically a floor sweeper)*, what else is there to give, or to receive? We can't have flowers in the house because the cats will eat/destroy them (and I'm tired of cleaning up the glass from all the broken vases). I like chocolate (though only dark chocolate), but it would go bad before I ate it. I don't really drink (despite those Facebook posts). And I'm an anti-social hermit who sits in front of a computer all day, fending off cats, so what's the point of jewelry?

And honestly, I don't need or want anything... except maybe courtside seats to a Knicks game or a pair of seats on the Giants 50 yard line or a month in some place sunny and warm near a beach or....

ANYWAY, the point is, after nearly 20 years of marriage, I know the spouse loves me, and I love him -- and neither of us needs to prove it with flowers or candy or jewelry or Hallmark cards. (Though if you really want to show me how much you love me, honey, you'll get all of your boxes and bins of stuff out of the family room and guest room and stick them back in your office.)

So this year I am boycotting Valentine's Day.

Who's with me?

*Also way up there, the soap box he got me for our anniversary last year.


Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more!

Steven said...

A quintessential J-Lo post.