Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Does this ring tone make my breasts look bigger?

Despite what the New York Times says, I don't know a single A-cup female who wouldn't welcome a natural, safe way to increase her breast size. And now, finally, science has heard the call of mammary challenged women everywhere and answered with a mobile solution that is sure to be a ringing success.

I am, of course, referring to the Rock Melon ring tone invented by Dr. Hideto Tomobechi of Japan, who claims that by listening to this particular ring tone 20 times a day for 10 days, a woman can increase her bust size by over an inch. That's a whole cup size, people!

The secret of the breast-enlarging ring tone? It mimics the sound of a crying baby, which triggers a physical maternal response in women that swells the listener's breasts as if she is readying for childbirth.

WARNING: Women with C or larger cups should not watch the following video more than 19 times a day unless they want to risk having to buy new bras.

But wait, there's more, much more, as I discovered while watching a rerun of The Rachael Ray Show at the gym the other day. In addition to cell phone ring tones, there are creams you can purchase that in a few applications can literally turn your mole hills into mountains!

And I just love the names: Bust-Boom!, Breast Success, Quick Bust.

There's even Breast Enlargement Cream for Crossdressing, Transgender and Transvestite Men.

Makes you yearn for the good old days, when a girl just needed to pump her arms back and forth in front of her chest intoning the words "We must, we must, we must increase our bust..."


Mama Reese said...

"The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater!"

Anonymous said...

Or as Mom used to say: "What God has forgotten...we now stuff with cotton!"

Ange said...


J. said...

Sadly, my cell phone hasn't rung once since I posted this story. :-(

Karina in Australia said...

Do you know if the cream works?

Cosmetic Surgery Sydney said...

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