Q: You mean there's ANOTHER debate?
Q: So what's this one about?
A: Per the Commission on Presidential Debates, "The second presidential (town meeting format) debate will include any issues raised by members of that audience and online."
Q: And who is moderating tonight's smackdown, I mean "debate"?
A: NBC News "Special Correspondent" Tom Brokaw (who really makes me miss Tim Russert).
Q: Will this debate be any different from the last/first presidential debate?
A: You better believe it, baby. Tonight's debate will be a Town Hall-style debate, meaning that there will a bunch of "Joe Six-Packs" and/or "Hockey Moms" and/or "regular folks," around 80 of them, all of whom have yet to make up their effing minds about who to vote for despite the longest presidential contest contest EVER, with more information available in more ways than ever before about each of the candidates, John McCain (R-AZ) and Barack Obama (D-IL), sitting right there on the stage near the candidates.
Twelve or so of these supposedly "uncommitted" or "undecided" voters will get to ask the candidates a question that will no doubt elicit some stunning new piece of information or sound byte that we haven't heard at least, oh, 100 times already. Not. Or else an answer that has nothing to do with the question (known as the Palin Maneuver). The rest of the questions will be chosen from a barrel that Tom Brokaw brought with him from his Montana ranch. I am only being slightly sarcastic. The remaining six or seven questions, which Brokaw will ask, will have been chosen, by Brokaw, from millions of entries submitted over the Internet.
And my friends (and you are my friends), I hope you are ready to rumble, because tonight things could get real nasty.
Q: So, where is tonight's debate taking place?
A: At Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee, the state that didn't elect long-time now-former Congressman Harold Ford, Jr. (who is whiter than some Caucasians I know) to the Senate.
Q: What time is tonight's debate?
A: Same bat time as the others, 9 p.m. Eastern.
Q: And where can I catch tonight's debate?
A: Same bat channels: CBS, NBC, ABC, PBS, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, C-SPAN, and a bunch of Spanish-language channels. National Public Radio (NPR) will also be carrying the debate live.
Q: How long is tonight's debate?
A: It will seem like an eternity but technically it will be only 90 minutes.
Q: If I am playing a drinking game while watching, which word or words do you think I should choose?
A: Good question! While maverick has been reliable in the past, tonight I would go with terrorist, Keating, savings and loan, the economy, Ayers, and/or taxes. Two or three of those should get you good and wasted.
Q: If I miss the debate tonight, where can I catch a replay?
A: Besides this Thursday's "Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update" primetime special airing at 9:30 p.m. ET and on CNN in the middle of the night? Go to http://www.mydebates.org/, a collaboration between MySpace.com and the Commission on Presidential Debates. Segments will also, no doubt, be played over and over and over again on every major network and cable news channel for days, as well as on "The Daily Show" starting tomorrow (as the show actually tapes around 5 p.m. ET).
Q: Any inside information you can share about tonight's debate?
A: Yes. Per a leaked McCain Campaign press release, John McCain won.
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