Friday, January 9, 2009

Now that's what I call a party animal... Plus NFL playoff predictions

Being someone who cannot hold her liquor (what in the old days was referred to as "a cheap date"), I was quite impressed to learn of the tiny Malaysian pen-tailed tree shrew's ability to subsist "on a diet roughly equivalent to 100 percent beer"... without ever getting drunk. Now that's my kind of shrew. [Insert "shrew" jokes here.]

Per the article, "The discovery is particularly intriguing because the tree shrew is believed to be very similar to the last common ancestor of all living primates. The researchers hypothesize that this ancestor may have consumed alcohol at moderate or high levels, which could explain why humans have some tolerance for alcohol." (Clearly, the researchers have never been to a Jets home game.)

And speaking of football.... As many of you know, this is a very important weekend for professional football, that is, if your team is in the playoffs, which mine -- the New York Giants (although they play in New Jersey) -- is. However, I am so nervous about this weekend's big game (Sunday at 1 p.m. ET on FOX) that I am hesitant to make predictions or even talk smack against the other team (from the misnamed "City of Brotherly Love." Brotherly Love my Giants-thong-wearing ass).

To date, my track record for making playoff predictions is worse than the 2007 - 2008 Mets' bullpen's ability to win a game. I was SURE it was going to be the Colts and the Giants in the Big Game, Manning a Manning. But Peyton and the Colts let me down. As did Matt Ryan and the Atlanta Falcons... and Chad Pennington and the Miami Dolphins. Indeed, the only game we correctly predicted the winner of in our Super Bowl Pool was (shudder) the Vikings - Eagles matchup, and we LOATHE the Philadelphia Eagles, though not as much as we loathe the Dallas Cowboys (though I used to like Tony Romo, before he started dating Jessica Simpson).

My first round playoff picks picked off (so to speak), I still have the Steelers, Panthers, and Giants -- and believe the Tennessee Titans will clobber the Baltimore Ravens (though I currently don't have a bet on that game).

And if my beloved Giants (Brandon Jacobs is back!) lose to the Eagles on Sunday, I may be heading to the Museum of Broken Relationships, to donate my Brandon Jacobs t-shirt and my Giants thong.

But if they win, I will party like a tree shrew. Go G-Men! Go Big Blue!

3 comments:

Betty Cracker said...

I think Philly really was the City of Brotherly Love until they scared all the Quakers away.

Now that The Most Important Football Game Ever is over and my Gators have prevailed, I can turn my attention to the NFL. I will be rooting for the G-Men (because I hate the freaking Iggles).

I really don't know who is playing whom in the other games yet, but I hear the Titans are still in it, and I wouldn't mind seeing them go all the way. No strong feelings about the playoffs this year since all the teams I like are out. Pfft.

Dave S. said...

J, I'm with you on the Giants and Panthers, although what's not to like about a team whose previous stadium had its own courtroom and lockup for miscreants (although booing Santa Claus is not really a crime)?

However, SD is on a hot streak and might give the Steelers some trouble, while anyone who underestimates the Ravens' defense is asking for it. Those are tossups in my book.

Judging from the picture, not only can the shrew hold his beer, he got some tail too. Ba-dump.

Word verification is shizzle!

J. said...

Congrats to the Gators, Betty. My alma maters did not have football teams, so I was never really into college football (except for a few years when we rooted for the Northwestern Wildcats, when we lived in Chicagoland).

And Dave, even though we picked the Steelers -- when we thought the Colts were going all the way -- I have a big soft spot for the Chargers' little Darren Sproles, at 5'6" the shortest player in the NFL.

My attitude: May the best teams win.