Thursday, January 29, 2009

The J-TWO-O Not-So Super Bowl XLIII Blog Post -- with the Skivvies on All the Action

This was going to be the Super Bowl Thong Report, until I discovered there is NO SUCH THING as an Arizona Cardinals thong. What kind of self-respecting National Football League team does not have an official NFL thong?! What's wrong with you people in Arizona?

I Googled and searched and Googled, and all I came up with was a lame-looking bikini and these really lame boxers. Feh.

And here I was all set to root for the Cardinals and Quarterback Kurt Warner. (I love you, man! The Giants should have kept you!) But now... Dunno.

On the other hand (or insert appropriate body part here), you have the Pittsburgh Steelers. Now that's a team that understands the importance of having an official NFL thong -- as well as a good offense and defense. Though the Cardinals' offense isn't too shabby either. Should be a good, or at least an okay, match-up. That is, if you care. And I'm not sure that I do, as both my beloved Giants and Jets will not be playing.

From what I've read and heard, the odds are in the Pittsburgh Steelers' favor. Sorry Arizona. Though, hey, you never know. If Big Ben, aka Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, gets hit or is otherwise injured and has to be removed from the game (i.e., is carted off the field again), that could do some serious damage to Pittsburgh's chances of winning. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Of course, I doubt that Super Bowl XLIII will even come close to the excitement that was Super Bowl XLII, otherwise known as THE BEST SUPER BOWL EVER (except to New England Patriots fans). Not even the commercials will be as good. (And last year's weren't even that good.) But the spouse and I will still probably watch (February 1 at 6 p.m. ET on NBC), because a) it's the last football game of the 2008-2009 season; b) we have nothing better to do; c) it's an excuse to drink beer; d) the spouse thinks Faith Hill is hot.

And speaking of Super Bowl ads and hot women, check out this Super Bowl ad from PETA, which NBC actually banned for being too sexy. Bet you guys will want to eat your veggies now. ; )

'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

(I was going to close with "may the best team win," but the best teams didn't even make it to the finals this year. Pathetic. Oh, and next year, the NFL should wait until after the playoffs to award the MVP. Unless by "MVP" they mean Most Valuable Pitchman. In which case Peyton Manning deserved the award.)


jjv said...

I have never understood the "I'll wear no clothes as long as you eat meat" campaign. Are there a lot of guys who want them to put their clothes on? "Well, I really wanted celery but she threatens to cover up when I stop eating meat."

Jack Hammer said...

Hail to second acts in American life. In spite of what F. Scott Fitzgerald had to say about that, when given a choice (and your team is out of it), gotta root for Warner, Kerry Collins, and all the other guys on the supposed downside of the careers (and are enjoying excellent 2nd or 3rd acts). And in spite of the fact that its just so wrong that the Cardinals are in the desert (better they should be the Cactus Wren, which is Arizona's actual state bird, go Cards!!

Dave S. said...

We are going with the underdog Cardinals as it is Fiona's favorite bird, but the Steelers are a class act and we will be just as happy for them if they win.

From my reading about the MVP decision process a major criterion is "player without whom his team would not get very far." Based on that P. Manning is a good choice. Note also that the MVP award specifically recognizes regular-season performance; I see no reason why they could not have one for the playoffs seeing as how they have one for the Super Bowl.

As for P. Manning being the Chuck Schumer of the NFL, I have no problem with that given the short and danger-fraught careers of even the hardiest NFL player. Make hay while the sun shines, I say, although no doubt a media hosting job awaits him. Besides, who among you would say "Another multimillion-dollar advertising contract? I couldn't possibly!"?

Dan said...

I was planning to rout for the Cardinals until you uncovered the thong issue. Now ... I'm thinking, "no thong, no way."

EMM said...

Super Bowl XXV was my favorite. Although the Bills lost, having my two favorite teams in the game was great!

I'm pulling for the Steelers and will be making cocoa krispie footballs (complete with icing for the laces) for my co-workers.

The PETA ad was more stupid than offensive. Human soup in a hot tub - gross!

GSA said...

Could it be that as the result of your blog the Cardinals thong up?