You too can enjoy a rewarding career in prostitution!

So according to Columbia University sociology professor Sudhir Venkatesh, who did a segment on prostitution on "All Things Considered" this afternoon, many (if not most) high-priced prostitutes and/or call girls (the "models," "actresses," and "career women" who make in the thousands for services rendered, as opposed to the lowly hookers who make a mere $500 or $1000 an hour) are college educated, corporate refugees, typically from the suburbs, with families, who felt prostitution was a good career move. (Me, I became a freelance writer. What an idiot.)

Per Professor Venkatesh, these women were unable to get ahead in the corporate world. They either hit the proverbial glass ceiling or felt kept down or were barely getting by on five or low six-figure salaries. Then one day, it came to them. They discovered their true talent was providing "therapy" (his word, not mine) and "psychological counseling" (again, his term) to lonely and/or frustrated men. (Note to my male friends: next time you want some advice or need a little TLC, it will cost you $5000. Btw, my former -- female, fully clothed -- therapist charged me around $160 an hour, which in retrospect seems like quite the bargain.)

So I'm thinking to myself, I wonder where one goes to train for a rewarding career in prostitution, I mean, "psychological counseling," Katharine Gibbs? ("You want a career and not just a job, but you can't figure how to get ahead. It's simple, you can get started today! Gibbs can prepare you for an in-demand career in a variety of top industries. Gibbs grads are ready to start a career immediately after graduation. What's even better? Gibbs has nine convenient locations on the East coast from Boston to Virginia." Sounds good to me! Those alumnae get-togethers must be a blast.)

Tempting though it may be, however, I think I will stick with my current job, though I may raise my rates. ; )

THIS JUST IN... Some hard-hitting, investigative journalism on the subject, brought to you by the folks at the TODAY Show.

ADDED 3/14 at 4:20 p.m.: So the gov is disgraced and out of a job -- and "Kristen" finds "overnight success." Per Village Voice culture critic Michael Musto, who was quoted in the article, "A prostitute knows how to sell herself," and apparently turn tragedy into fame and fortune. Yet another reason to train for this exciting profession!