The only reason the GOP would dump Trump

"The economy, stupid."

Remember when even the whiff of adultery could ruin a man's chances of becoming president or could get him impeached? Ha ha ha. That's so 1990s. (Though I'm guessing if a Democrat was caught screwing around, Republicans would be up in arms.)

So what does it take in 2017 to get impeached, or even censured by Congress? Apparently not racism, inciting violence, ethics violations, profiteering, shady (or illegal) business dealings, conflicts of interest, collusion with a foreign power, bullying, lying, or fraud.

In fact, I would wager that if Donald J. Trump stood in front of Trump Tower -- or anywhere on Fifth Avenue -- and shot someone, I doubt it would make a dent in his popularity, at least among his die-hard supporters. It might even raise it if the person he shot was black or Muslim. He would no doubt claim it was self-defense, and his supporters -- and Fox News -- would believe him and trumpet his innocence, even if it was proved that the attack was unprovoked.

And while Republican Senators and Representatives might initially condemn Trump for shooting someone, as some of them have in the past for his pussy grabbing, support of white supremacy, and other things, I doubt even that would move them to censure or impeach him.

No, the only thing that might possibly cause Republicans in Congress to impeach or remove Trump? If the economy went into a tailspin, meaning the stock market crashed, unemployment crept up, and we faced another recession.

Right now Trump is still enjoying the economic draft or slipstream left from President Obama's time at the wheel, similar to the economic situation George W. Bush inherited when he took office. And we all know how well that turned out.

And that quote at the beginning of this blog post, "The economy, stupid" (typically quoted as "It's the economy, stupid")? That was the rallying cry of the (Bill) Clinton campaign back in 1992, which helped get him elected.

Indeed, more than anything else (except maybe -- maybe) terrorism or the threat of terrorism, the economy is what determines who gets into or stays in office*. And if Donald Trump, the supposedly great businessman, turns out to be bad for business? Then, maybe, just maybe, he will be removed or voted out of office. But I wouldn't bet on it.



*I hear the spouse and many of my non-Republican friends yelling at their computer screens, saying "I disagree! The Russian thing is going to be his undoing!" To which my reply is, only if there is some major bombshell -- that there is indisputable proof that Trump personally colluded with Russians to influence the election -- will that possibly lead to impeachment. That's how crazy and depressing our political situation is now. Which, to quote Donald Trump, is sad.

Wanna save the planet? Then this job is for you!

Want to help keep Earth safe from aliens? (No, not the ones from Mexico! The ones from Outer Space!) Well, NASA has the job for you!

Yes, boys and girls, if you have always dreamed of protecting the Earth from nasty microbes -- or brain-eating space invaders -- the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has your dream job. (And you thought Men in Black was just a movie!)

While anyone, theoretically (well, anyone who is a U.S. citizen or "those who owe allegiance to the U.S."), can apply to be Planetary Protection Officer, if you want to save the planet, you need the right stuff.**

Specific technical requirements to be Planetary Protection Officer include:

1. Advanced knowledge of Planetary Protection, its requirements and mission categories. This includes demonstrated technical expertise to independently form technically sound judgments and evaluations in considerably complex situations. 

2. Demonstrated experience planning, executing, or overseeing elements of space programs of national significance. These elements include but are not limited to developing requirements, performing technical assessments, and preparing recommendations to leadership. 

3. Demonstrated skills in diplomacy that resulted in win-win solutions during extremely difficult and complex multilateral discussions. This includes building coalitions amongst organizations to achieve common goals.

[Regarding Requirement 3., I am assuming NASA wants candidates to have experience negotiating with aliens/alien governments. What a shame Sarek was a Vulcan. Though maybe Jonathan Archer or James T. Kirk is available.]

So if you like traveling to exotic places, are able to keep a secret, have x-ray vision, and can bend steel with your bare hands**, apply today! The planet needs you!

(Btw, the gig pays between $124,406 to $187,000, not too shabby. Though, on second thought, considering you may be keeping the planet safe from total annihilation, I think it's a bit low.)

* Or figure out how to get Congress to impeach Donald Trump.
** I made those last two up.

Now playing on WH TV: Throw Reince Priebus from the Train!

Breaking News: President* Donald Trump has fired White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, the former head of the Republican National Committee.

In a move that should surprise no one, Trump eighty-sixed Priebus barely 24 hours after new White House Communications Director (and aspiring wiseguy) Anthony "the Mooch" Scaramucci had accused Priebus of leaking information -- and I had suggested (on Facebook and Twitter) that the Scaramucci made-for-TV movie should be called Throw Reince Priebus from the Train**.

In Priebus's stead, Trump appointed John F. Kelly, a retired Marine four-star general currently serving as secretary of homeland security, breaking the news on Twitter a little before 5 p.m. ET.

On his Twitter feed, Trump thanked Priebus "for his service and dedication to his country" and said "We accomplished a lot together and I am proud of him!" He referred to Kelly as "a Great American" and "a true star" of his administration. Bookies are now taking bets as to how long Kelly will last before Trump fires him, or he resigns.

Which brings me to my next point: Anyone else think that Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" should be the theme song of this administration, or that all the late-night talk shows should use it as background music whenever discussing a Trump resignation or firing?

Here's the Reince Priebus version***:

Reince walks warily through the West Wing
His chin pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
Scaramucci's ready to blow

Are you ready,
Are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the Mooch the profanities rip
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

*Every time I type that, another piece of me dies.
**For those too young, or too old, to get the reference.
***Future versions will be modified to include or feature the latest victim of Trump's wrath.

If the Trump family/administration was a 1960s sitcom...

If you were to compare the Trumps or the Trump administration to a 1960s sitcom or cartoon, which sitcom or cartoon characters would they be?

F Troop?

The Beverly Hillbillies?

Hogan's Heroes*?

The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show?

The Flintstones?

Leave your answer in the Comments section.


*And I'm not talking about the POWs.

Putting the screw back in corkscrew

This seemed an appropriate post for hump day.

Voila! The Costaud (or "beefy") corkscrew. No bottle can resist his charms!

The spouse and I happened upon this humorous -- yet fully functional -- utensil while in Italy (though M. Costaud appears to be French). And no, I did not buy one (for myself or my friends), though I deeply regret not doing so. But it was the first day of our trip, and I feared M. Costaud, who is rather large, would be too big to fit... in my suitcase.

Why Jon Ossoff (and the Democrats) will lose

Why do I think Jon Ossoff, the Democrat seeking to represent Georgia's 6th congressional district, will lose to Republican Karen Handel in today's special election, even though he's raised far more money and seems far more popular? Because Republicans vote and Democrats don't.

Obviously, Democrats vote, but their turnout is typically far lower than Republicans', especially in off-year elections. And the 6th has been a reliably Republican district since the late 1970s, when Newt Gingrich won -- and held onto the seat for 20 years (to be replaced by two more middle-aged white males).

And despite what they may say or write about a Republican candidate, when it comes down to a vote, Republicans almost always vote for the person with an R after his (or occasionally her) name. So it's doubtful that Ossoff will have managed to sway 15 or 10 percent of Republican voters to vote for him, even if they don't like Trump or Trumpcare/The American Health Care Act.

Moreover, Republican campaign strategists are very good at staying on message and getting Republicans to the polls. Their strategy: fear. Vote for the Democrat and you'll be paying higher taxes! (They'll grab your hard-earned money and give it to lazy minorities and illegal immigrants!) Vote for the Democrat and you'll be less safe (cause they'll take away your guns and will let criminals roam the streets)!

And despite plenty of proof to the contrary, the strategy always works. Just tell the people what they want to hear, even -- or especially -- if it's a bunch of lies. Because who's going to fact check? Most voters don't read anymore, let alone check the accuracy of what they're reading, especially on social media, or what they see on TV. And when faced with any facts that contradict their beliefs, they cling even harder to their beliefs. So it's really a no-lose situation for Republicans.

So what can Democrats do? I think part of the solution has to be going back to grass roots, old-fashioned campaigning, like what Ossoff's been doing -- and what Obama did in the 2008 presidential race. Going to lots of events that "real people," not just wealthy donors, attend. Going door to door, and/or to supermarkets, and the local car wash; attending sporting events at local high schools and colleges; holding town halls. And making people feel that you're listening to them.

Democrats also need to come up with some catchy soundbites, because when it comes down to it, people don't read or remember or really care about policy positions anymore. They want something short and pithy that you can put after a hashtag.

And Democrats need to register young people to vote and make sure they go to the polls on election day. Because the only real way to effect change is by voting.

The right to bear arms but not bare breasts

With the shooting of Congressman Steve Scalise at a baseball field in Alexandria, Virginia, getting so much coverage in the news this week, you may have missed another big story out of the greater D.C. area. I am, of course, referring to the ban against public nudity that the Ocean City (Maryland) Council passed in an emergency session last Saturday, putting an immediate stop to the threat that topless female sunbathers posed to our nation's, or at least Ocean City's, impressionable citizens.

The Washington Post, did not one but two stories on the ban, including this titillating expose titled "In Ocean City, Hooters, Thongs and Horror Over Topless Women on the Beach."

Yes, in 2017, in a country where there is currently close to a mass shooting per day, the right to bear arms is still considered sacred but the right to bare breasts is still considered sinful.

Except for those fembots in Austin Powers, I'm pretty sure no one, man or woman, has been killed or seriously injured by a female breast. Indeed, unlike guns, mammary glands nurture life, not destroy it.

But hey, I get the whole wanting to ban women (or certain women) from exposing their breasts in public thing. If I could, I would ban guys from wearing thongs at the beach and in public. (Seriously, no one wants to see your pale, flabby -- or tanned and hairy -- ass or your over-oiled beer belly hanging over that limp sack of flesh hanging between your legs.)

Getting back to Ocean City's topless bathing, or nudity, ban, though, it seems a wee bit hypocritical to shout about promoting "family values" when you've got a big ole Hooters on your boardwalk, as well as lewd t-shirts for sale and smoking and drinking in public going on (much of it underage). 

But that's America for you.