Ya got treason

[With apologies to Meredith Wilson, Robert Preston, and The Music Man]
Well, either you're closing your eyes

To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a traitor in the White House.
Ya got treason, my friend, right here,
I say, treason,
Right here in the Capital City.
With a capital "T,"
And that rhymes with "P," and that stands for Putin!

And all week long in your Capital City
Journalists be fritterin' away,
Fritterin' away their days,
Tryin' to get a straight answer from Sarah Sanders.

Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' problems.
Right here in the Capital City.
Problems with a capital "P"
And that rhymes with "T," and that stands for Trump!

Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda voters.
So I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes down,
How the White House is gonna cover up the same old lies to the American people?
Sure you do!

Oh we got treason,
Right here in the Capital City!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Putin,
That stands for Putin.
We've surely got treason!
Right here in the Capital City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the country from going down the tubes
Treason, treason, treason, treason... 

Now playing on WH TV: Throw Reince Priebus from the Train!

Breaking News: President* Donald Trump has fired White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, the former head of the Republican National Committee.

In a move that should surprise no one, Trump eighty-sixed Priebus barely 24 hours after new White House Communications Director (and aspiring wiseguy) Anthony "the Mooch" Scaramucci had accused Priebus of leaking information -- and I had suggested (on Facebook and Twitter) that the Scaramucci made-for-TV movie should be called Throw Reince Priebus from the Train**.

In Priebus's stead, Trump appointed John F. Kelly, a retired Marine four-star general currently serving as secretary of homeland security, breaking the news on Twitter a little before 5 p.m. ET.

On his Twitter feed, Trump thanked Priebus "for his service and dedication to his country" and said "We accomplished a lot together and I am proud of him!" He referred to Kelly as "a Great American" and "a true star" of his administration. Bookies are now taking bets as to how long Kelly will last before Trump fires him, or he resigns.

Which brings me to my next point: Anyone else think that Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" should be the theme song of this administration, or that all the late-night talk shows should use it as background music whenever discussing a Trump resignation or firing?

Here's the Reince Priebus version***:

Reince walks warily through the West Wing
His chin pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
Scaramucci's ready to blow

Are you ready,
Are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the Mooch the profanities rip
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

*Every time I type that, another piece of me dies.
**For those too young, or too old, to get the reference.
***Future versions will be modified to include or feature the latest victim of Trump's wrath.

My Trump inauguration playlist

If I was the music director at one of Trump's inaugural balls, here are the songs I would choose. Feel free to suggest your own via the Comments section.

Meghan Trainor, "Lips are movin":



"If your lips are moving, then you're lyin', lyin', lyin', baby."

Shaggy, "It wasn't me":

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)

Thompson Twins, "Lies":



"Lies, lies, lies, yeah..."

Eurythmics, "Would I lie to you?":



"Would I lie to you, baby, would I lie to you? (Oh, yeah)"

Fleetwood Mac, "Little lies":



"Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies..."

And I've always loved this clip from the movie Pillow Talk....



"You lied, you dog. And you'll be sorry. Uh-huh."

Though if someone actually offered me a ticket to attend Trump's inauguration, this would be my reaction:

And I ran
I ran so far away
I just ran
I ran all night and day
I couldn't get away

BONUS CLIP for everyone attending a Women's March:

Nancy Sinatra, "These boots are made for walkin'"



You keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin'
You keep losing when you oughta not bet
You keep samin' when you oughta be a'changin'
Now what's right is right but you ain't been right yet

These boots are made for walking,
And that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you

UPDATED: I really hope they show this clip from From Russia with Love on the Jumbotron at Trump's inauguration...



but I'm guessing they won't. Sad.

This song totally sums up 2016 (NSFW but very funny)

Man, 2016 has been a sh*tty year. I seriously don't remember a year, at least in recent memory, that's been so depressing -- at least politically and culturally (and, to a certain extent, personally).

So many cultural greats died. (I'm still in mourning for David Bowie, or the David Bowie of my youth.) And you all know how I (and a majority of Americans) feel about "President-Elect Donald J. Trump." (Even typing that makes me feel sick.)

But how to sum up all the pain and frustration, the anguish and the anger? And then I saw this post on Facebook*, titled "The 2016 Song," from the British-born sister act, Flo & Joan, and I had my answer.



Pretty much sums it up, dontcha think?

*H/T to my social media-savvy daughter and budding political protester, who was the one to spot this.

It's Trump: The Musical!

In a bit of late-night comedic genius, last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick reprised their roles from The Producers. Except in this version, Bialystock (Lane) and Bloom (Broderick) are not Broadway show producers but political consultants, looking to get rich by finding the worst candidate, a real loser, and raising lots of money for themselves "him" by offering ambassadorships and other perks -- then keeping the money "when the public finds out what a nutcase our guy is, [and] he drops out of the race."

As in The Producers, and real life, however, things don't turn out as planned. Indeed, the more whacko things their candidate, Donald J. Trump, says, the more people love him.

I love this skit, but instead of "Trumped," they should have called it "Springtime for Trump,"  substituting Trump for Hitler in the lyrics, set it in America, and used Miss Universe contestants! I can see it now...

The USA was having trouble
What a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader to restore
Its former glory

Where oh where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around and then we found
The man for you and me and now it's

Springtime for Donald Trump and the USA
America is happy and gay
We're marching to a faster pace
Look out, here comes the master race

Springtime for Donald Trump and the USA
Winter for Mexico and Muslims
Springtime for Donald Trump and the USA...

Jimmy Fallon, Brian Williams slow jam the debt ceiling

Only Jimmy Fallon and Brian Williams (aka Brilly Willy and Honey Bri Bri) could make singing about the debt ceiling sexy. Ooooh yeah.



Among my favorite lines in "Slow Jam the News: Fiscal Cliff*":

"Ain't nothing worse than a soft Boehner."

"Our economy could really use a shot in the arm. Sounds like a job for Lance Armstrong."

"How was third grade for you, Jimmy?"

"Fifty shades of Brian Williams."

Though they are not nearly as funny taken out of context.

For another amusing (albeit non-sexual) explanation of the debt ceiling, check out my post titled "Everything you need to know about the debt ceiling... clearly explained in just over three minutes."


*Just curious: Is this Fiscal Cliff any relation to Jimmy Cliff? ;-)

O Mitt Romney Style (political parody)

This Gangnam Style parody by CollegeHumor.com, titled "Mitt Romney Style," is brilliant.



Why is it so brilliant? Because in the original Gangnam Style, the singer, PSY, is making fun of wealthy, status-seeking, out-of-touch people who live in Seoul's Gangnam district, i.e., people like Mitt Romney!

And speaking of Gangnam Style parodies, here's one for all you Star Trek fans, titled "Klingon Style."



Any of you speak Klingon? If so, let me know if the translation is accurate.

Top 3 2012 Presidential Parodies for the Week of 9/17/12

Combing the Internet (and YouTube), so you don't have to.

First up, Obama Time, or "U Didn't Build That by MC 'Bama," a clever mashup of President Barack Obama rapping about various campaign issues and Mitt Romney to the tune of MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This."



Next up, Obama's Anger Translator on the 47 percent:



And finally, Randy Newman, who is dreaming of a white president.

Lies, lies, lies, yeah (they're gonna get you)

I am so sick of all the lies that the Republican presidential candidate Willard Mitt Romney and his sidekick, vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan, have been spouting -- and repeating even after nonpartisan fact-checking organizations have called them on their lies -- I want to scream. The only time I want to hear lies is in the lyrics of a song, preferably one with a beat that I can dance to.

So, as I have been told that wiring the presidential and vice-presidential candidates to a lie detector (and an independent fact checker) during the debates and having the moderator administer an electric shock every time one of them lies, the bigger the lie, the bigger the shock, would probably kill them, I propose playing a snippet from one of the following songs each time a candidate lies.

So which song should it be? The Thompson Twins' "Lies"?



The Eurythmics' "Would I lie to you?"



Or Depeche Mode's "Policy of Truth"?



Or do you have another suggestion?

Jimmy and the POTUS slow jam the news

Jimmy Fallon and President Barack Obama slow jam the news about student loans (at the University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill).

Pell yeah!



Am amazed the Prezie of the United Stezie (aka the POTUS with the mostest) kept a straight face -- and bummed he didn't sing with The Roots...



So when is Mitt Romney slow jammin' the news with Jimmy Fallon?

Jimmy Fallon, Brian Williams doin' the nasty with Super PACs

You gotta love Jimmy Fallon's "Slow Jammin' the News with Brian Williams," or Bri Bri Will Wills, as he's known in hep cat circles. And last night Jimmy and Brian Will.I.Ams slow jammed 'bout Super PACs -- awwww yeah -- and got nasty. Yeah, that's right.



It's Super PACkin'.

GOP presidential campaign theme songs?

Every presidential candidate needs a theme song. And after watching (clips from) the Republican presidential debates and reading up on the GOP frontrunners in the news, I would like to suggest the following.

For Mitt Romney, I propose "Stuck in the Middle with You" from Stealers Wheel:



[For those unfamiliar with "Stuck in the Middle with You," here is a link to the lyrics.]

For Texas Governor Rick Perry, I suggest the Britney Spears' classic "Oops! ...I Did It Again."



Oh Perry, Perry.

For the godfather of pizza, Herman Cain, I'm thinking the Atlanta Rhythm Section's "So into You":



And for Michele Bachmann (is she still even in the race?), "Crazy":



Well, those are my GOP presidential candidate theme songs suggestions. What are yours? Let me know via the Comments section.

DJ Obama gets funky wit da Congress

Apparently I missed this version of the State of the Union address. Though I much prefer it.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it already, check out this totally fresh version of the Iyaz song "Replay," sung by our Rapper in Chief, Barack Obama.



For the record, I have long suspected the Prez had some funk in him.

JibJab's annual review of the year that was ("So Long to Ya, 2010")

Another year, another JibJab year in review.

"So Long to Ya, 2010!"

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Note: to see how JibJab's 2010 Year in Review video, "So Long to Ya, 2010," was made, click here.

And now a song from the President

Was reading The Huffington Post the other day when I came across an article featuring this brilliant modern version of Gilbert and Sullivan's "Major-General's Song" (from The Pirates of Penzance). Instead of the Major-General, however, the song is sung by the very model of a modern U.S. President, President Barack Obama (as portrayed by actor/comedian Ronnie Butler, Jr.).

And now I give you"Obama! A Modern U.S. President," presented by the Light Opera of Los Angeles: