The right to bear arms but not bare breasts

With the shooting of Congressman Steve Scalise at a baseball field in Alexandria, Virginia, getting so much coverage in the news this week, you may have missed another big story out of the greater D.C. area. I am, of course, referring to the ban against public nudity that the Ocean City (Maryland) Council passed in an emergency session last Saturday, putting an immediate stop to the threat that topless female sunbathers posed to our nation's, or at least Ocean City's, impressionable citizens.

The Washington Post, did not one but two stories on the ban, including this titillating expose titled "In Ocean City, Hooters, Thongs and Horror Over Topless Women on the Beach."

Yes, in 2017, in a country where there is currently close to a mass shooting per day, the right to bear arms is still considered sacred but the right to bare breasts is still considered sinful.

Except for those fembots in Austin Powers, I'm pretty sure no one, man or woman, has been killed or seriously injured by a female breast. Indeed, unlike guns, mammary glands nurture life, not destroy it.

But hey, I get the whole wanting to ban women (or certain women) from exposing their breasts in public thing. If I could, I would ban guys from wearing thongs at the beach and in public. (Seriously, no one wants to see your pale, flabby -- or tanned and hairy -- ass or your over-oiled beer belly hanging over that limp sack of flesh hanging between your legs.)

Getting back to Ocean City's topless bathing, or nudity, ban, though, it seems a wee bit hypocritical to shout about promoting "family values" when you've got a big ole Hooters on your boardwalk, as well as lewd t-shirts for sale and smoking and drinking in public going on (much of it underage). 

But that's America for you.  

Maybe Hillary should learn how to assemble an AR-15 rifle blindfolded

For those who haven't yet seen this brilliant ad by Jason Kander, a former Army captain who fought in Afghanistan, who is running against Roy Blount in the Missouri Senate race, it is a must see:



[H/T Balloon Juice]

Kander, who is a Democrat, created the ad in response to Blount and the NRA calling him weak on Second Amendment rights. (Meanwhile numerous polls have shown that approximately 90 percent of Americans support gun control measures, including expanded background checks.)

The good news is, you don't need to know how to assemble a rifle in order to stop Donald Trump from becoming President (though it probably wouldn't hurt Hillary Clinton if she could). You apparently just need a vagina.



[H/T, again, to Balloon Juice]

Women outnumber men in the United States and more women than men have voted in recent elections. (See this and this and this.) So ladies, if we want to send Trump back to his Tower, go out and vote for Hillary on November 8th. And bring along your husband -- or boyfriend or brother or male neighbor -- and have him vote for Hillary, too.

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!  For those not keeping score, here is a handy cheat sheet of Donald Trump's various scandals. Also, be sure to check out the Cosmo interview with Ivanka Trump on her/her father's maternity leave policy, which is quite an eye opener (for those who had their eyes closed, fantasizing about Trump's busty blonde eldest daughter).

Of course, none of this -- or any facts -- is going to change the minds of Trump supporters or Hillary haters. But I felt like it was time to chime in.

Fewer semi-automatics, more mental health care

My daughter’s school is about 20 minutes away from Sandy Hook Elementary. When I arrived at school midday (I volunteer in the library), there were two cop cars outside. Despite them, I had no problem walking into the building that houses the library -- no checking in anywhere, no locked doors. Sent a chill down my spine.

At the time I arrived, I had no idea that an entire classroom of kindergartners, as well as several teachers and administrators, had been mowed down just a few miles away. I only learned that shortly before I left the library.

Many of the teachers who work in our district live and have kids who go to school in Newtown. I cannot imagine the fear they felt.

I heard that Obama brushed away tears as he talked about the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary. I also read that he said now was not the time to talk about gun control, or words to that affect. But if not now, when?

How many innocent people -- too often children -- have to die before politicians take a stand against the NRA and pass tougher gun and ammo control measures? I'm not saying the government should strike down the Second Amendment (though I would not object). But it's time to put a ban on semi-automatic weapons (the weapon of choice for mentally deranged killers), limit the amount of ammunition one can purchase, and institute strenuous background checks. Yes, that won't solve the problem. But it's a start.

And while the pols are at it, how about making it less expensive for Americans to get mental health care? Maybe if we made it easier to get mental health care and more difficult to buy guns and ammo, we could avoid another tragedy like the one that took place today... and the one in Aurora... and the one in Tucson... and the one at Virginia Tech... and the one at Columbine.

More about the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy here.

UPDATED 12/15/12: More food for thought: "Twelve facts about guns and mass shootings in the United States" by Ezra Klein of The Washington Post (via Balloon-Juice.com). I found these two paragraphs particularly telling and tragic:

If roads were collapsing all across the United States, killing dozens of drivers, we would surely see that as a moment to talk about what we could do to keep roads from collapsing. If terrorists were detonating bombs in port after port, you can be sure Congress would be working to upgrade the nation’s security measures. If a plague was ripping through communities, public-health officials would be working feverishly to contain it.

Only with gun violence do we respond to repeated tragedies by saying that mourning is acceptable but discussing how to prevent more tragedies is not. “Too soon,” howl supporters of loose gun laws. But as others have observed, talking about how to stop mass shootings in the aftermath of a string of mass shootings isn’t “too soon.” It’s much too late.

Bulldog beauty queens and gun-toting caffeine addicts

What do bulldog beauty queens and gun-toting caffeine addicts have in common? Only the fact that both made headlines this morning -- and I have a thing for both bulldogs and Frappuccinos.

Let's start with the bulldogs, shall we? As most of you probably do not know (unless you live in Southern California and own a bulldog), the fifth annual Bulldog Beauty Contest, sponsored by Haute Dogs, took place this Sunday in Long Beach. And as per usual, it did not disappoint.



This year's winner in the English Bulldog category was Mr. Big Bear Lake, Winston, a two-year-old English Bulldog. The winner in the Pug (and best-name) category (though I don't consider pugs bulldogs): Thurston Howl. Btw, all the proceeds from the pageant go to charity.

Moving onto the gun-toting caffeine addicts, who are much less cute (though equally dogged)... As reported in this Associated Press article, a number of gun owners in states where it is legal to openly carry fire arms (like Virginia, home of many of my readers) have been targeting Starbucks and other seemingly liberal, effete dining establishments.

According to the article, however, the baristas at Starbucks haven't risen to the bait -- i.e., refused to serve these gun-toting cappuccino and Frappuccino sippers. Though I think the first sentence of the article may explain why: "Dale Welch recently walked into a Starbucks in Virginia, handgun strapped to his waist, and ordered a banana Frappuccino with a cinnamon bun."

(Now read it again. That sentence just cracks me up every single time. Is that a banana Frappuccino in your cupholder, or are you just happy to see me? I just crack myself up.)

Maybe it's just me, but I don't consider a cinnamon bun eating, banana Frappuccino sipping 71-year-old a major threat, even if he is packing heat. (Though maybe I should.) However, the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence thinks otherwise, and has been circulating a petition demanding that Starbucks "offer espresso shots, not gunshots" and declare its coffeehouses "gun-free zones."