Ya got treason

[With apologies to Meredith Wilson, Robert Preston, and The Music Man]
Well, either you're closing your eyes

To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a traitor in the White House.
Ya got treason, my friend, right here,
I say, treason,
Right here in the Capital City.
With a capital "T,"
And that rhymes with "P," and that stands for Putin!

And all week long in your Capital City
Journalists be fritterin' away,
Fritterin' away their days,
Tryin' to get a straight answer from Sarah Sanders.

Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' problems.
Right here in the Capital City.
Problems with a capital "P"
And that rhymes with "T," and that stands for Trump!

Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda voters.
So I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes down,
How the White House is gonna cover up the same old lies to the American people?
Sure you do!

Oh we got treason,
Right here in the Capital City!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Putin,
That stands for Putin.
We've surely got treason!
Right here in the Capital City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the country from going down the tubes
Treason, treason, treason, treason... 

The only reason the GOP would dump Trump

"The economy, stupid."

Remember when even the whiff of adultery could ruin a man's chances of becoming president or could get him impeached? Ha ha ha. That's so 1990s. (Though I'm guessing if a Democrat was caught screwing around, Republicans would be up in arms.)

So what does it take in 2017 to get impeached, or even censured by Congress? Apparently not racism, inciting violence, ethics violations, profiteering, shady (or illegal) business dealings, conflicts of interest, collusion with a foreign power, bullying, lying, or fraud.

In fact, I would wager that if Donald J. Trump stood in front of Trump Tower -- or anywhere on Fifth Avenue -- and shot someone, I doubt it would make a dent in his popularity, at least among his die-hard supporters. It might even raise it if the person he shot was black or Muslim. He would no doubt claim it was self-defense, and his supporters -- and Fox News -- would believe him and trumpet his innocence, even if it was proved that the attack was unprovoked.

And while Republican Senators and Representatives might initially condemn Trump for shooting someone, as some of them have in the past for his pussy grabbing, support of white supremacy, and other things, I doubt even that would move them to censure or impeach him.

No, the only thing that might possibly cause Republicans in Congress to impeach or remove Trump? If the economy went into a tailspin, meaning the stock market crashed, unemployment crept up, and we faced another recession.

Right now Trump is still enjoying the economic draft or slipstream left from President Obama's time at the wheel, similar to the economic situation George W. Bush inherited when he took office. And we all know how well that turned out.

And that quote at the beginning of this blog post, "The economy, stupid" (typically quoted as "It's the economy, stupid")? That was the rallying cry of the (Bill) Clinton campaign back in 1992, which helped get him elected.

Indeed, more than anything else (except maybe -- maybe) terrorism or the threat of terrorism, the economy is what determines who gets into or stays in office*. And if Donald Trump, the supposedly great businessman, turns out to be bad for business? Then, maybe, just maybe, he will be removed or voted out of office. But I wouldn't bet on it.



*I hear the spouse and many of my non-Republican friends yelling at their computer screens, saying "I disagree! The Russian thing is going to be his undoing!" To which my reply is, only if there is some major bombshell -- that there is indisputable proof that Trump personally colluded with Russians to influence the election -- will that possibly lead to impeachment. That's how crazy and depressing our political situation is now. Which, to quote Donald Trump, is sad.

Now playing on WH TV: Throw Reince Priebus from the Train!

Breaking News: President* Donald Trump has fired White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, the former head of the Republican National Committee.

In a move that should surprise no one, Trump eighty-sixed Priebus barely 24 hours after new White House Communications Director (and aspiring wiseguy) Anthony "the Mooch" Scaramucci had accused Priebus of leaking information -- and I had suggested (on Facebook and Twitter) that the Scaramucci made-for-TV movie should be called Throw Reince Priebus from the Train**.

In Priebus's stead, Trump appointed John F. Kelly, a retired Marine four-star general currently serving as secretary of homeland security, breaking the news on Twitter a little before 5 p.m. ET.

On his Twitter feed, Trump thanked Priebus "for his service and dedication to his country" and said "We accomplished a lot together and I am proud of him!" He referred to Kelly as "a Great American" and "a true star" of his administration. Bookies are now taking bets as to how long Kelly will last before Trump fires him, or he resigns.

Which brings me to my next point: Anyone else think that Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" should be the theme song of this administration, or that all the late-night talk shows should use it as background music whenever discussing a Trump resignation or firing?

Here's the Reince Priebus version***:

Reince walks warily through the West Wing
His chin pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
Scaramucci's ready to blow

Are you ready,
Are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the Mooch the profanities rip
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

*Every time I type that, another piece of me dies.
**For those too young, or too old, to get the reference.
***Future versions will be modified to include or feature the latest victim of Trump's wrath.

If the Trump family/administration was a 1960s sitcom...

If you were to compare the Trumps or the Trump administration to a 1960s sitcom or cartoon, which sitcom or cartoon characters would they be?

F Troop?

The Beverly Hillbillies?

Hogan's Heroes*?

The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show?

The Flintstones?

Leave your answer in the Comments section.


*And I'm not talking about the POWs.

Are you + the U.S. better off than you were 4+ months ago (before Trump made America great)?

During the October 28, 1980, presidential debate between President Jimmy Carter and then presidential candidate Ronald Reagan, Reagan famously called on Americans to ask themselves:

'Are you better off now than you were four years ago? Is it easier for you to go and buy things in the stores than it was four years ago? Is there more or less unemployment in the country than there was four years ago? Is America as respected throughout the world as it was?'

It was a thought-provoking question. And the answer, or so it would appear from Reagan's victory, was "no."

I've been thinking a lot about that quote since Donald Trump took office, and promised to make America great again within 100 days.

So how is Trump doing? Are we (or you) better off than we/you were 4+ months ago?

Speaking personally, the answer is no.

Since Trump took office, our health insurance has gone way up. The value of our house has gone way down. I lost my main source of employment -- and have been unable to find a new one (or one that pays anywhere close to what I was earning, which wasn't much).

I worry about whether we and our children and grandchildren will have clean air to breathe and clean water to drink and whether the Earth will wind up looking like Venus. I worry about Trump starting a nuclear war. I worry about the rights of women and blacks/African Americans and other minorities. And I worry that if I go see a doctor or mental health professional about my anxiety our insurance premiums will skyrocket -- and mental healthcare isn't covered anyway.

As for Reagan's last question, "Is America as respected throughout the world as it was?" The short answer is, no, not even close. In fact, in just over four months, the United States has become the laughingstock of the world, thanks to Trump, who is a constant embarrassment on the world stage. And countries, including the UK (which has its own problems) and Canada, two of the United States's staunchest allies, are distancing themselves from Trump.

Regarding whether it's "easier for you to go and buy things in the store that it was four years ago," I don't have an answer.

And while technically the unemployment rate is low, and was low before Trump took office, I know a whole lot of people who have given up looking for full-time, or even part-time, work, or who found work but now make less money than they did four or 10 or 15 years ago. And I don't see this changing anytime soon, despite what Trump said or says. In fact, companies are continuing to automate and shift jobs out of the country -- and hiring fewer people to do more. And many people who do have jobs aren't paid a livable wage, which Trump and the Republicans don't see as a problem.

Sure, some people -- namely the very rich -- are better off, at least financially, than they were four months ago (thanks to a surging stock market and the rollback of certain regulations). But is America really better off? Are you?

Meanwhile at Trump's Cabinet meeting yesterday...

For those of you haven't yet seen a clip of yesterday's Trump Cabinet meeting, here's what Trump's Cabinet secretaries had to say about him...

For those too busy or unable to watch the video, here are highlights from the transcript:

Mike Pence: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Jeff Sessions: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Rick Perry: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Tom Price: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Mick Mulvaney: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Reince Priebus: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Oops, I missed this quote from Sean Spicer.

Forget Comey. Trump isn't going anywhere.

To those who think James Comey's testimony before Congress yesterday is going to make any difference -- as in move Congress a step closer to removing Donald Trump from office -- think again.

We are at the point where, as Trump claimed back in January 2016, he (Trump) could "stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and... wouldn't lose voters."

Indeed, Republicans (assuming they still controlled Congress at the time of the shooting) would no doubt come up with a justification for the shooting and Trump would be made to look the victim.

"He's just new to this," House Speaker Paul Ryan would say. "He probably wasn’t steeped in the long-running protocols that establish how to use a gun."

Yes, this is where we are at in this country. As long as the man sitting in the Oval Office has an "R" (as in Republican -- or Russian agent) after his name -- and his party enjoys a majority in the House and Senate -- he can be a liar, an abuser of women and power, flout the constitution and ethics rules, allow a foreign power to influence foreign policy, and put his own special interests before the interests of the country he was elected to serve, because "when you're a [Republican], they let you do it." As long as you're for reducing taxes on the wealthy and allow Congress to pass laws favorable to wealthy special interests -- or undo regulations that those filling your campaign war chest or holding your debt want you to roll back.

And while no one enjoys paying taxes (except maybe my father, a registered Republican who always used to say to me that if everyone paid their fair share of taxes, we'd all pay a lot less in taxes), cutting taxes -- so-called trickle-down economics -- doesn't create more jobs or make the economy healthier. In fact, it does more harm than good. Just take a look at Kansas.

But that's where we are at here in the land of ME, ME, ME, WHAT ABOUT ME? Screw the sick (until you are sick). Forget about education. Fuck women (literally and figuratively). And to hell with the environment (which will soon resemble Hell if temperatures keep rising.) If you can save me a few thousand, even a few hundred, dollars a year in taxes, you have my blessing to do whatever you like, Donald and Republicans.

Sadly, it will be up to some future president to make America great again.

Stop referring to Trump as a billionaire

Dear New York Times and every other media outlet,

Please stop referring to Donald J. Trump as a billionaire or "billionaire Donald J. Trump." You, and we, the public, have no idea if Trump is a billionaire. And considering the amount of debt he has, and the hundreds of millions of dollars he has lost over the years, it is highly likely he is not a billionaire. 

Sure, Trump would like us to believe he is a billionaire.

And I would like people to believe I am really 5'6". 

But we have no way of knowing if Trump is a billionaire as he refuses to release his tax returns. 

So please, news organizations, cable channels, and bloggers, stop referring to Trump as a billionaire. Refer to him as just a businessman or a real estate developer (or President, if you must). And if he complains, say you'd be happy to re-apply the descriptor "billionaire" -- as soon as he provides the last 8 years worth of his Federal tax returns. 

Trump translator: What Trump really means

Supporters of Donald Trump say people cannot, or should not, take what he says literally. So how can people understand what Trump really means when he speaks?

To assist you, we here at J-TWO-O have carefully analyzed Trump's most frequently spoken words and deciphered, or translated, them for you in this handy chart.

Now when you listen to Trump, or read about something he said or tweeted, you can understand what he really meant.

THE TRUMP TRANSLATOR
When Trump says…	What it really means is…
Amazing	Not so amazing; ordinary; really bad
Bad people	People who call out Trump’s lies
Best	Worst
Big League (often misinterpreted as “Bigly”)	That whatever or whomever Trump is referring to is screwed, big time.
Crooked	That person is smarter than Trump (and less crooked, dishonest).
Dishonest	Someone said or published the truth about Trump or one of his advisors or businesses and he doesn’t like it. So he’s trying to discredit the person or organization.
Failing	That person or business is succeeding (most likely in debunking something Trump says), or that person or organization said or did something Trump didn’t like, so he’s trying to discredit it.
Fake News	That news organization is printing the (uncomfortable, unflattering) truth about Trump and/or one of his businesses or associates.
Fantastic	Fantastic for Trump and millionaires like him. Bad for everyone else.
Huge	Small, like Trump’s hands
Loser	That person is more popular or smarter than Trump; a winner
Out of control	Out of my, Donald Trump’s, control
Overrated	That person or organization gets (or got) better ratings, won more awards, than Trump; that person or organization said something (probably true) about Trump that Trump didn’t like.
Really smart	Really dumb
Sad	Bad for Trump
Terrible	Terrible for Trump
They	Bad hombres, non-white males, esp. immigrants, and people who either sued Trump or said bad things about him; also news organizations
Tremendous	Small or tiny, soft (like his… hands); bad, poor
We	I, Donald J. Trump
Weak	I can bully that person.
Winning	Losing; a loss for most Americans

Obama haters vs. Trump haters (chart)

Why do so many people (still) hate President Barack Obama?

Why do so many people hate President Donald Trump?

Instead of droning on about the various reasons, I have created a table, below, titled "Obama Haters vs. Trump Haters."

Obama Haters vs. Trump Haters
Why people hate(d) Obama	Why people hate Trump
He’s black±.	He’s abused (groped) women (against their will) and wants to take away/limit women’s rights.**
He’s a Muslim*.	He’s biased against African Americans, Hispanics, and Muslims; wants to limit their rights.**
He’s not really American (wasn’t born here)*.	He wants to ban Muslims from entering the United States, except the ones he’s doing business or wants to do business with.**
He thinks he’s so smart (like he’s way smarter than me***).	He wants to deport millions of Hispanics. **
He wants to raise my taxes*.	He’s for dismantling environmental regulations, allowing companies to pollute more, threatening the health of millions of Americans.**
He wants to take away my guns*.	He’s for dismantling healthcare protections, making it more expensive/harder for millions of Americans to receive healthcare.**
He’s anti-family* (supports abortion and gay people marrying).	He’s incited anti-Semitism – and death threats against Jewish community centers and houses of worship.**
	He doesn’t support education.**
	He and his family are personally costing/will cost taxpayers millions (perhaps billions) of dollars, far more than any previous president.**
	He and his family are personally profiting from his presidency.**
	He refuses to share his tax returns, which could reveal ties with Russia and other foreign powers (most notably China).**
	He is threatening America’s security by proposing to decrease funding for the TSA and the Coast Guard in order to pay for multibillion-dollar border wall with Mexico (which experts say won’t stop illegal immigration or make America safer)**
	He and many of his advisors have disturbing ties to Russia – and it’s been proven that Russia influenced the election/favored Trump.**
±Though technically he’s 50% white. *Not true, i.e., false. **True. ***Probably.	He is irrational, unable to distinguish fact from fiction; constantly lies.**

As you will notice, most of the reasons people cite for hating Obama (e.g., his not being born in America or taking away people's guns) were/are false. Whereas the reasons people dislike or hate Trump are true. Also, many of the things people didn't like about Obama didn't directly affect their well being, as in their health or pocket books, whereas many of the reasons people dislike or hate Trump do or will.

Donald Trump's good friend, Gazoo -- I mean "Jim"

What Trump really said at the CPAC conference on Friday.

TRUMP: "I have a friend, Gazoo — I mean Jim. He's a really, really great guy. Actually, he's an alien from the planet Zetox. But he's a great little guy.

"He loves Bedrock, I mean Paris. For years he would go to Bedrock — Paris. It was automatic with him. I hadn't seen him in a while, and I said, "Gazoo -- I mean Jim, how's Bedrock — Paris — doing? And Gazoo— Jim — says to me, 'Bedrock — I mean Paris? I don't go there anymore. Bedrock is no longer Bedrock — Paris — anymore.'

"That was four years — four, five years, hasn't gone there," Trump added. "He wouldn't miss it for anything. Now he doesn't even think in terms of going there. Sad."

And the moral of this story? No, it's not that "Paris" isn't safe anymore. It's that you shouldn't trust a guy with imaginary friends who only he can see and hear. (Though Trump having Gazoo as his "friend" would explain a lot.)

Are Trump and his followers demented?

So here's a medical question I've been pondering for a while now*: Is there some gene or something about some people's brains that makes them unable to discern or recognize lies or separate fact from fiction?

And guess what? There is!

According to a recent study conducted by scientists at the University of California, San Francisco, an inability to detect lies -- and sarcasm -- may well be the result of damage to (or something affecting) the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain. It even has a name, frontotemporal dementia, and the condition affects adults at a younger age (typically 40 - 70) than other forms of dementia, such as Alzheimer's.

Another sign of frontotemporal dementia? Socially inappropriate and/or compulsive behavior.

Sound like anyone orange you know (or any of his supporters)?

Pretty sure dementia would fall under the list of reasons to enact Section 4. of the 25th Amendment of the Constitution. And an MRI, which, when I last checked, was nonpartisan, would determine if Trump (or anyone else) suffered from this form of dementia.

Sadly, there is no cure for this disease... until 2020.

UPDATED: A big THANK YOU to my mother for sending me this New Yorker article titled "Why Facts Don't Change Our Minds," which scientifically explains the Trump phenomenon -- and why our species may be doomed.

*But especially since Trump secured the Republican nomination for president.

5 ways to fight Trump and make America great again

I, like many Americans, am sickened and angered by Donald Trump and his administration -- and the willingness of the GOP to kowtow to or silently accept Trump's heinous behavior and actions.

Trump has nominated people totally unqualified and/or unfit to take office. And since becoming president (words that are extremely difficult for me to type), Trump has taken actions that threaten women's/human rights, the environment, healthcare, education, and the economy. (Let me know if I left anything out.) And it is highly unlikely that the Republican-controlled House and Senate will do anything to stop the Trumpocalypse, until, perhaps, it is too late.

So what can we horrified American citizens do to try to limit the damage Trump is inflicting on us? Here are some suggestions, which even my fellow introverts can do.

• Call your local Representative and Senators, who you can find via https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials. Whether you want them to know where you stand on an issue or how you'd like them to vote on an appointment or bill, it's important to call them.

• Follow your Representatives and Senators on Facebook and/or sign up for their email updates, to keep abreast of the issues, find out where they stand, and how you can help. Chris Murphy, one of my senators, constantly reaches out to his constituents to see where we stand on various issues, with polls and surveys, and I'd like to think my participation helps.

• Support organizations that will fight for the causes you believe in, either by donating money or time. Organizations I recently donated to, in the fight to protect our civil liberties, the environment, women's health, and those seeking asylum or refuge in this country, include the ACLU, the Environmental Defense Fund, Planned Parenthood, and the International Rescue Committee. But there are many more, which you can find via Charity Navigator (and other sites). 

• Support good journalism/investigative reporting. How? By purchasing a subscription to those newspapers and news organizations that are working hard to uncover the truth about Trump and his administration and those policies and actions that are detrimental to America and Americans.
  
  I personally have become a big fan of The Washington Post this election cycle (and started subscribing last year), and I'm a longtime supporter of NPR. But there are many fine organizations dedicated to providing good, fair, honest, hard-hitting journalism that could use your support, and you can find a list of them on the PEN Center.
  
  
• Last, but far from least, make sure you are registered to vote and vote in the mid-term elections, which will be on November 6, 2018. The only way to stop Trump -- and Pence, who may very well become President before November 6, 2018 -- is for the Democrats to win back the Senate and the House. Also, consider donating money and/or time to helping the good guys get re-elected or supporting candidates who oppose Trump and will fight for education, the environment, and women's and human rights.
  
  (Sadly, even moderate Republicans, if there are truly any, have proven that they will not defy Trump, no matter how much they may privately disagree with him. So the only way to put a check on his devastating policies is for Democrats to take back the House and Senate.)

Have any other ideas? Let us know via the Comments.

The Madness of King Donald the Trump

Many (most?) of us who have observed Trump over the last year have questioned whether he is mentally fit to be president. However, after watching Trump's recent interview with ABC's David Muir, where he (Trump) told one whopper after another, there can be no doubt that Trump is unhinged. Deranged. Nuts. Psycho. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

I could go on, but you get my drift. 

As a student of history, Trump's performance brought to mind another deranged ruler of this country, one who likewise lost the goodwill of most of his subjects here -- and caused a political crisis.

Who was this mad man? For those of you who have forgotten your U.S. History, or haven't seen Hamilton, I am, of course, referring to King George III, whose madness was captured in a brilliant 1994 film titled, appropriately, The Madness of King George.*



The similarities between Donald the First (and hopefully the last) and George the Third are striking, from the eccentric, disturbing behavior, to the grabbing of women, to the political tensions caused by his erratic behavior.

The only question is, will Americans rise up against Donald the Trump and kick him out as they did George the Third some two-hundred forty years ago?


*And yes, all you Hamilton lovers, in Hamilton, too. Though I'm pretty sure we won't be back, re-electing Trump... if we survive that long. 

You know what they say about guys with small crowds...*

As has been widely reported, the man Graydon Carter once described as a "short-fingered vulgarian" has been very unhappy about the reported size of his crowd.

Despite photos and facts to the contrary, the Toddler in Chief insists that his crowd was the biggest, bigger than Obama's, bigger than anyone's!

So, per aides, who spoke to The Washington Post...

Over the objections of his aides and advisers — who urged him to focus on policy and the broader goals of his presidency — the new president issued a decree: He wanted a fiery public response [to claims that his crowd wasn't the biggest or bestest], and he wanted it to come from his press secretary.

Yes folks, the man who rose to national prominence by trying to delegitimize America's first black president, his number one concern upon taking office is the fear that his crowd wasn't as big as Obama's. (Though you know what they say about the size of black men's crowds.)

So, unable to grab some pussy himself, he (Trump) ordered his press secretary to go diddle the press corps -- and the American public -- by claiming that his crowd was the biggest, despite easy to find evidence to the contrary.



This, my fellow Americans, is not the behavior of a president but of a spoiled, narcissistic, irrational toddler (or sociopath). And, unfortunately, it doesn't seem like there are any adults in the room who are capable of controlling the Toddler in Chief's temper tantrums.

(I'd say we are well and truly fucked, but considering the size and flaccidity of Trump's, uh, crowd, it may take a while.)

UPDATED: More on Trump's long-standing obsession with ratings and size via The New York Times.


*small hands and small... minds

The GOP vs ISIS: A Comparison

After reading yesterday that the Trump administration planned to eliminate the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) and the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH), as well as privatizing the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (which is a bit of an oxymoron), ostensibly as part of an effort to reduce government spending (even though eliminating all three of these programs would barely make a dent in the federal budget), I thought to myself, 'Huh, you know who else hates the arts and wants to destroy them? Radical Islamists (aka ISIS)!'

That led me to wondering what else Conservative Republicans (cutting arts funding was the brainchild of Conservative thank tank Heritage Foundation) and Radical Islamists had in common. So I did some research and created this handy little chart. And gee whiz! The GOP and ISIS have way more in common than we thought!

Conservative Republicans	Radical Islamists
Want to subjugate women; believe women should be seen (if they are attractive) but not heard	Want to subjugate women; believe women should be neither seen nor heard
Abhor homosexuality	Abhor homosexuality
Resent the educated, dislike/distrust institutions of higher learning	Resent the educated, dislike/distrust institutions of higher learning
Believe Christianity is the one true religion	Believe Islam is the one true religion
Little or no tolerance for unbelievers or other faiths	Little or no tolerance for unbelievers or other faiths
Disdain the arts, want to defund	Disdain the arts, want to destroy
Will use whatever means necessary (gerrymandering, fake news) to secure their goals/leadership	Will use whatever means necessary (propaganda, bombs) to secure their goals/leadership

Also, while poking around the Internets (looking for a map I saw a while back showing the United States as a bunch of -stans*), I came across these two maps of the world.

This first one shows Ronald Reagan's view of the world, back in the 1980s:

The second map illustrates Donald Trump's view of the world in 2016:

Pretty interesting, no?

*If any of you find a link to that map, please send it to me.

My Trump inauguration playlist

If I was the music director at one of Trump's inaugural balls, here are the songs I would choose. Feel free to suggest your own via the Comments section.

Meghan Trainor, "Lips are movin":



"If your lips are moving, then you're lyin', lyin', lyin', baby."

Shaggy, "It wasn't me":

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)

Thompson Twins, "Lies":



"Lies, lies, lies, yeah..."

Eurythmics, "Would I lie to you?":



"Would I lie to you, baby, would I lie to you? (Oh, yeah)"

Fleetwood Mac, "Little lies":



"Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies..."

And I've always loved this clip from the movie Pillow Talk....



"You lied, you dog. And you'll be sorry. Uh-huh."

Though if someone actually offered me a ticket to attend Trump's inauguration, this would be my reaction:

And I ran
I ran so far away
I just ran
I ran all night and day
I couldn't get away

BONUS CLIP for everyone attending a Women's March:

Nancy Sinatra, "These boots are made for walkin'"



You keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin'
You keep losing when you oughta not bet
You keep samin' when you oughta be a'changin'
Now what's right is right but you ain't been right yet

These boots are made for walking,
And that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you

UPDATED: I really hope they show this clip from From Russia with Love on the Jumbotron at Trump's inauguration...



but I'm guessing they won't. Sad.