Now playing on WH TV: Throw Reince Priebus from the Train!

Breaking News: President* Donald Trump has fired White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, the former head of the Republican National Committee.

In a move that should surprise no one, Trump eighty-sixed Priebus barely 24 hours after new White House Communications Director (and aspiring wiseguy) Anthony "the Mooch" Scaramucci had accused Priebus of leaking information -- and I had suggested (on Facebook and Twitter) that the Scaramucci made-for-TV movie should be called Throw Reince Priebus from the Train**.

In Priebus's stead, Trump appointed John F. Kelly, a retired Marine four-star general currently serving as secretary of homeland security, breaking the news on Twitter a little before 5 p.m. ET.

On his Twitter feed, Trump thanked Priebus "for his service and dedication to his country" and said "We accomplished a lot together and I am proud of him!" He referred to Kelly as "a Great American" and "a true star" of his administration. Bookies are now taking bets as to how long Kelly will last before Trump fires him, or he resigns.

Which brings me to my next point: Anyone else think that Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" should be the theme song of this administration, or that all the late-night talk shows should use it as background music whenever discussing a Trump resignation or firing?

Here's the Reince Priebus version***:

Reince walks warily through the West Wing
His chin pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
Scaramucci's ready to blow

Are you ready,
Are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the Mooch the profanities rip
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

*Every time I type that, another piece of me dies.
**For those too young, or too old, to get the reference.
***Future versions will be modified to include or feature the latest victim of Trump's wrath.

Dump the Trump: Tell the Donald "You're fired!"

It's time to play... Dump the Trump! The blog post where you click on this link to sign an online petition to Urge Macy's to Dump Donald Trump.

As many of you know, Macy's department stores sell Donald Trump clothing and fragrances. (What does Birther smell like anyway?) Macy's also prides itself on social responsibility:

There is no shortage of talk about the obligation of public companies to be socially responsible to the people and communities where they do business. At Macy’s, Inc., we hold those same beliefs – along with a belief that actions speak louder than words when it comes to helping tackle some of the toughest problems facing us today.

And the company has a Vendor & Supplier Code of Conduct that clearly states it will not tolerate human trafficking and child labor, though maybe Macy's should extend that statement to include trafficking in lies and childish behavior.

The bigger point: Donald Trump is bad for business -- that is, Macy's business. So unless Macy's wants to increase its appeal to grumpy, old, racist white guys, the company would be wise to tell the Donald to peddle his made-in-China label elsewhere.

And wouldn't it be great if NBC, which airs his show, The Apprentice, told the Donald "You're fired!" too? Of course that will never happen -- unless the show's ratings go lower than Congress's. Indeed, by the time the new All-Star Celebrity Apprentice airs March 3, people may not remember or care about all of the crazy, hateful, outrageous, and borderline treasonous things Donald Trump said and did during the 2012 Presidential Race. And more's the pity.