Let's make America great again

Let's make America great again.

Let's teach our children that lying and cheating are bad and reward hard work and telling the truth.

Let's make America great again.

Let's preach love and kindness and understanding and show hate and bullying will not be tolerated in our country.

Let's make America great again.

Let's make our education system the best in the world by giving teachers the tools and support (and salaries) they need to do their jobs -- and celebrating learning and intellectual curiosity, not ignorance.

Let's make America great again.

Let's make sure all Americans have the healthcare they need, both physical and mental, without them having to worry if going to the doctor or hospital will financially harm or bankrupt them -- or forcing Americans to choose between their health or the health of a family member and eating or paying the rent. And while we're at it, let's make getting and paying for healthcare easier, so Americans don't have to spend hours trying to figure and fill out complicated insurance forms.

Let's make America great again.

Let's re-institute the FCC Fairness Doctrine, so television and radio stations cannot spout lies and falsehoods and mislead the American people.

Let's make America great again.

Let's make sure fewer children and adults die needlessly by signing into law sensible gun safety legislation.

Let's make America great again.

Let's give power back to the people by limiting big business's and wealthy donor's role in our elections -- and by outlawing gerrymandering.

Let's make America great again.

Let's embrace those who honor democracy and human rights and work together to spread the message that love trumps hate.

Trump translator: What Trump really means

Supporters of Donald Trump say people cannot, or should not, take what he says literally. So how can people understand what Trump really means when he speaks?

To assist you, we here at J-TWO-O have carefully analyzed Trump's most frequently spoken words and deciphered, or translated, them for you in this handy chart.

Now when you listen to Trump, or read about something he said or tweeted, you can understand what he really meant.

THE TRUMP TRANSLATOR
When Trump says…	What it really means is…
Amazing	Not so amazing; ordinary; really bad
Bad people	People who call out Trump’s lies
Best	Worst
Big League (often misinterpreted as “Bigly”)	That whatever or whomever Trump is referring to is screwed, big time.
Crooked	That person is smarter than Trump (and less crooked, dishonest).
Dishonest	Someone said or published the truth about Trump or one of his advisors or businesses and he doesn’t like it. So he’s trying to discredit the person or organization.
Failing	That person or business is succeeding (most likely in debunking something Trump says), or that person or organization said or did something Trump didn’t like, so he’s trying to discredit it.
Fake News	That news organization is printing the (uncomfortable, unflattering) truth about Trump and/or one of his businesses or associates.
Fantastic	Fantastic for Trump and millionaires like him. Bad for everyone else.
Huge	Small, like Trump’s hands
Loser	That person is more popular or smarter than Trump; a winner
Out of control	Out of my, Donald Trump’s, control
Overrated	That person or organization gets (or got) better ratings, won more awards, than Trump; that person or organization said something (probably true) about Trump that Trump didn’t like.
Really smart	Really dumb
Sad	Bad for Trump
Terrible	Terrible for Trump
They	Bad hombres, non-white males, esp. immigrants, and people who either sued Trump or said bad things about him; also news organizations
Tremendous	Small or tiny, soft (like his… hands); bad, poor
We	I, Donald J. Trump
Weak	I can bully that person.
Winning	Losing; a loss for most Americans

5 ways to fight Trump and make America great again

I, like many Americans, am sickened and angered by Donald Trump and his administration -- and the willingness of the GOP to kowtow to or silently accept Trump's heinous behavior and actions.

Trump has nominated people totally unqualified and/or unfit to take office. And since becoming president (words that are extremely difficult for me to type), Trump has taken actions that threaten women's/human rights, the environment, healthcare, education, and the economy. (Let me know if I left anything out.) And it is highly unlikely that the Republican-controlled House and Senate will do anything to stop the Trumpocalypse, until, perhaps, it is too late.

So what can we horrified American citizens do to try to limit the damage Trump is inflicting on us? Here are some suggestions, which even my fellow introverts can do.

• Call your local Representative and Senators, who you can find via https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials. Whether you want them to know where you stand on an issue or how you'd like them to vote on an appointment or bill, it's important to call them.

• Follow your Representatives and Senators on Facebook and/or sign up for their email updates, to keep abreast of the issues, find out where they stand, and how you can help. Chris Murphy, one of my senators, constantly reaches out to his constituents to see where we stand on various issues, with polls and surveys, and I'd like to think my participation helps.

• Support organizations that will fight for the causes you believe in, either by donating money or time. Organizations I recently donated to, in the fight to protect our civil liberties, the environment, women's health, and those seeking asylum or refuge in this country, include the ACLU, the Environmental Defense Fund, Planned Parenthood, and the International Rescue Committee. But there are many more, which you can find via Charity Navigator (and other sites). 

• Support good journalism/investigative reporting. How? By purchasing a subscription to those newspapers and news organizations that are working hard to uncover the truth about Trump and his administration and those policies and actions that are detrimental to America and Americans.
  
  I personally have become a big fan of The Washington Post this election cycle (and started subscribing last year), and I'm a longtime supporter of NPR. But there are many fine organizations dedicated to providing good, fair, honest, hard-hitting journalism that could use your support, and you can find a list of them on the PEN Center.
  
  
• Last, but far from least, make sure you are registered to vote and vote in the mid-term elections, which will be on November 6, 2018. The only way to stop Trump -- and Pence, who may very well become President before November 6, 2018 -- is for the Democrats to win back the Senate and the House. Also, consider donating money and/or time to helping the good guys get re-elected or supporting candidates who oppose Trump and will fight for education, the environment, and women's and human rights.
  
  (Sadly, even moderate Republicans, if there are truly any, have proven that they will not defy Trump, no matter how much they may privately disagree with him. So the only way to put a check on his devastating policies is for Democrats to take back the House and Senate.)

Have any other ideas? Let us know via the Comments.

Want change? Move Red, you Blue Democrats.

So here is the problem, fellow Democrats. Between self-selection and Republicans gerrymandering districts, we're all clustered together. So basically we got clusterfucked this election.

The solution: Have some of us from Dem heavy states (I'm looking at you, Massachusetts people, and you, Californians, and all you Brooklynites) move to swing states, states where a bunch more Democrats (and by "a bunch" I mean 10,000 to 100,000, or more) could make a yuge difference in the next elections*.

[To see the latest state-by-state vote totals for the 2016 Election, click here.]

Which states am I talking about? For starters, Florida. Where a lot of us Northeasterners plan on moving (eventually) anyway. But also Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin -- even Arizona (which was pretty close this election), North Carolina, or Texas. Better yet, find a county in those states that leans slightly Republican and move there.

We're doing our part (though we're not registered to vote in Florida... yet). Now it's up to you to do yours.

Also, please consider donating to environmental causes (I just gave $$$ to the Environmental Defense Fund), the ACLU (am about to give), Planned Parenthood (ditto), and other organizations that help protect people and our planet.

This has been yet another public service announcement.


*You know what could also make a huge difference? If people registered to vote and then actually voted. Especially all you young Democrats. Just look at these Election Turnout numbers. Pathetic.

You don't have to be a rocket scientist unless you work at NASA*

Often when I am reading the news or watching talk shows, I wonder if everyone (okay, nearly everyone) has completely lost their minds, or their ability to use some basic common sense.

To explain what I'm talking about, I have provided 11 examples (in no particular order) of simple things that everyone should know, or should be obvious, but too often aren't. (Feel free to add your own examples in the Comments.)

You don't have to be a scientist to read a thermometer, or observe that the weather has become more erratic and extreme.

You don't have to be an economist or an accountant to balance your checkbook. You just have to know how to add and subtract.

Being able to see Russia from your window doesn't make you an expert on foreign policy, just like being able to see the moon from your window doesn't make you an astronaut.

You don't have to be a brain surgeon, unless you want to operate on people's brains. Nor do you have to be a rocket scientist, unless you want to work for NASA or SpaceX*.

If you feel you have no time to do anything, because you've volunteered for too many activities, volunteer less.

If you eat too much, you will gain weight. If you want to lose weight, eat less. Stop with the crazy diets.

Happiness doesn't come in a pill**, or a bottle.

You can't be too rich, but you can be too thin.

If you don't want to get sick, or want to get sick less often, wash your hands before you eat -- as well as before and after meal preparation and after you've used a toilet.

If you don't want others to get sick, cough or sneeze into your elbow or bicep, not into your hand. That's how you spread germs.

Don't text while driving. Nothing, and no one, is that important.

*And even at NASA, and SpaceX, not everyone is a rocket scientist.
** Or maybe I was given the wrong prescription.

The difference between an idiot, a jerk & an a--hole

So the other day the spouse and I were debating what the difference was between an idiot, a jerk, and an a--hole*.

I took the topic seriously. And after some deep thought and research, here's what I came up with.

[Note: In the interest of bonhomie, I will not be providing examples within each of the categories.]

An idiot is a stupid or foolish person -- someone who doesn't (necessarily) know better or is lacking in knowledge or common sense. Synonyms include cretin, dunce, moron, twit, and doofus.

A jerk is someone who knows better but doesn't care (about you or your feelings). Or per the Merriam-Webster dictionary, someone "who is cruel, rude, or small-minded." Synonyms include bastard, creep, bounder, louse, and snake.

And an a--hole? An a--hole is a jerk on steroids (figuratively, and possibly literally, speaking); someone who doesn't give a sh*t about you or your wittle feelings. He's right. You're wrong. Now get the f*ck out of the way. Synonyms include dick, prick, schmuck, and scumbag. (Hmm... I'm sensing a theme here.)

This has been a public service announcement.

*I.e., asshole

It's not bitching...

It's Verbal Release Therapy.

In fact, when you think about it, or the alternatives, bitching is downright good for you.

When you hold in all that anger, all that frustration, what do you get? An ulcer. Or high blood pressure. Or a serial killer. You're like a ticking time bomb, ready to go off.

But by bitching (or kvetching, or grumbling, or complaining, or venting*) about that jerk who cut you off on your way to work, or your computer crashing right in the middle of typing that important paper, or why you seem to be the only person in the house who is able to change a roll of toilet paper (or load/unload the dishwasher, or put shit away, or do laundry, or clean up), or how no one ever reads your blog posts, or how your football team sucks, or -- you get the idea -- you release all that stress and frustration and negative energy into the ether and can begin the healing process.

[Deep breath in through the nose... vent out through the mouth. Aaaaaah.]

Of course, like everything else in life, you should bitch, or complain, or vent in moderation. (Nobody likes a whiner.) Preferably to someone who loves or cares about you, or whom you are paying, who will be a good listener, and will not tell you to "relax," or "chill out," or "what you should do is," which will only result in more anger and frustration and... bitching.

This has been a public service announcement.


*Did you know the English language has over three dozen words, or synonyms, for complain?

Happy Global Handwashing Day!

Finally, a celebration day for us germaphobes! Let's break out the hand sanitizer and celebrate, people!

And Global Handwashing Day could not have come at a better time, what with people here in the United States (and around the world) freaking out about Ebola and Enterovirus 68.

Though do you really need such an extreme excuse to wash your hands?

As the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and any healthcare professional can (and will) tell you, the number one way to avoid getting sick is to WASH YOUR HANDS

• Before, during, and after preparing food
• Before eating food
• Before and after caring for someone who is sick
• Before and after treating a cut or wound
• After using the toilet
• After changing diapers or cleaning up a child who has used the toilet
• After blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing
• After touching an animal, animal feed, or animal waste
• After touching garbage

(You paying attention, honey?)

Equally important is how you wash your hands, which, according to numerous studies, most of us don't do properly. So how do you wash your hands properly? Again, according to the CDC (and health professionals), to properly wash your hands you should:

• Wet your hands with clean, running water (warm or cold), turn off the tap, and apply soap.
• Lather your hands by rubbing them together with the soap -- lathering the backs of your hands, between your fingers, and under your nails.
• Scrub your hands for at least 20 seconds -- the time it takes to sing the "Happy Birthday" song from beginning to end twice.
• Rinse your hands well under clean, running water.
• Dry your hands using a clean towel, paper towel, or hand dryer them UNTIL THEY ARE COMPLETELY DRY as germs love moisture.

Don't have access to running water, soap, and a towel? Use hand sanitizer. (I carry a bottle with me at all times -- and make the spouse and teenager carry a bottle with them, too.)

And no excuses! If astronauts can wash their hands in space...



you can do it here on Earth!

Happy Global Handwashing Day!

A primer on facts, opinions, and lies

To quote the late New York Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, "Everyone is entitled to his opinion, but not his own facts."

Sadly, too many people these days confuse "opinion" with "fact" -- wholesale believing what they hear on opinion shows or in opinion columns as fact, without bothering to see if the information is factual or not (or an outright lie).

Maybe it's because my first job was as a fact checker (at a national magazine, back in the days when magazines still employed fact checkers), but I have always had a high regard for facts -- and have always searched out the truth, to trust but verify, before casting my lot.

So for those of you who may be a bit fuzzy on the difference between a "fact," an "opinion," and a "lie," here's a quick primer:

A fact is a true piece of information, something that can be proven or verified. For example, that 2 + 2 = 4 is a fact. And in general, most things mathematical or scientific or that can be proven are facts. Here's another non-scientific example: On Saturday I picked up seven shirts at the dry cleaner's. (Not only can at least two other people prove I was there, the dry cleaner has a record of my picking up and paying for our shirts.)

An opinion, on the other hand, is a belief or a generally held view. For example, it may be your opinion that a certain baseball player used performance enhancing drugs. But without concrete evidence, it is not a fact. (See how tricky these things can be?)

And a lie is an untrue statement, the opposite of a fact, spoken or written with the intent to deceive. Granted some lies are more harmless than others -- I can say I am 5'3", which may be true with shoes on, but I am really only 5'1.75" -- but they are still lies.

Granted, you can see how someone with a strong belief or opinion about something can regard said opinion as a fact, or get someone else to believe it a fact, especially when it is repeated over and over again, but that still does not make it a fact.

So why am I bothering to bring up these distinctions?

Because while I am no longer surprised by politicians, celebrities, and athletes lying, I am surprised by how many people wholesale believe these lies -- people's willful ignorance of the facts, if you will.

Maybe before the existence of fact checkers and the Internet people could be forgiven for believing an impassioned speaker or charismatic politician or snake oil salesman, but today, when at least the claims of politicians can be easily fact checked -- by independent, nonpartisan organizations such as FactCheck.org and PolitiFact.com? It boggles my mind -- and saddens me.

Not that it will change your mind, or how you vote, but as a service to your fellow Americans, remember that a fact is something that is true, not because you want or wish it to be but because it is, that can be proven. So if you are not sure of something you heard or read, try to verify it, through an independent organization (not Fox News or Matt Drudge). If it cannot be proven -- if there is no reliable data to back up the claim -- it is either an opinion or a lie.

Remember, there are no "your facts" and "my facts," just simply facts.

Irony, now available in cans and bottles

When I first saw this new ad for Coca-Cola on obesity, I thought it must be a joke.



But the new Coke ad, titled "Coming Together," is the real thing, baby. And it is a joke.

Coke's claim: by adding artificial sweeteners and offering consumers smaller serving sizes, it is fighting obesity, which, by the way, the American Medical Association just recognized as a disease (albeit an easily preventable one, if you don't drink sodas like Coke and Sprite and Fanta).

The problem: artificial sweeteners have been closely tied to obesity and Type 2 diabetes, and are worse for you than sugar. Instead of satisfying your sweet craving, artificial sweeteners make you crave sweets and rewire your taste receptors to dislike healthier, not sweet foods. Which is why so many folks who guzzle Diet Coke and other diet beverages wind up gaining rather than losing weight.

I know. When I met the spouse over 20 years ago, I was a Diet Coke addict -- and weighed almost 30 pounds more than I do now, even though I exercised every other day. When I gave up diet soda (and other "diet" processed foods), I immediately lost 10 pounds. (And when I kicked out sugar and pasta and white bread, I lost another 10 pounds.)

So if you really want to fight obesity, folks, avoid Coca-Cola and other artificially or otherwise sweetened beverages (such as Crystal Light, which is almost as addictive and as bad for you as crystal meth) and stick to water.

And remember, Coke doesn't add life. It just adds pounds.

The real biggest threat to American families

Unsafe catfish. From Vietnam. (And you thought the Vietnam War was over. HA! It's just that now we're fighting their polluted Commie catfish!)

And you knows it MUST be true, because I saws it on the Internets.



Seriously, I thought this was some kind of joke. Until I actually went to the website, SafeCatfish.com.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for safe, pollutant- (and hormone- and chemical-) free food (which is why we buy all our meat and seafood at Whole Foods) and for the proper inspection and labeling of seafood (and all food in general), but I think President Barack Obama has bigger fish to fry (or bake or saute) right now.

Sorry U.S. Catfish Farmers.

(Note to self: Pick up some catfish at Whole Foods tomorrow.)

Forget swine flu. This summer's deadliest threat? Flip-flops (and I ain't talkin' politics)

Ladies grab a can of Lysol and prepare to be totally grossed out.

Your flip-flops? They contain thousands of nasty, literally sickening, bacteria (including the potentially lethal germ Staphylococcus aureus). You can get all the gory, disgusting details in this charming article titled "Can your flip-flops kill you?" (which has NOTHING to do with politics) courtesy of the staff of the TODAY Show and "the University of Miami emergency mobile flip-flop lab." (Thanks for NOTHING, TODAY Show. Slow news day? Though I did enjoy the Nora the Piano-Playing Cat segment.)

The good news: “As long as your skin is intact, as long as you use common sense and don’t knowingly expose yourself ... you shouldn’t be alarmed,” said Dr. Lisa Plano, a microbiologist at the University of Miami. Gee, thanks, Dr. Lisa.

To prevent illness and/or infection, the article offers the following advice: try to avoid wearing flip-flops in places where you are likely to come in contact with animal feces; leave flip-flops at the door; consider giving your flip-flops a good spraying with Lysol when you've been walking on city streets; and wash your hands AND feet as soon as you get in your house or apartment (or after disinfecting your flip-flops).

As for me, I will be the one wearing those disposable blue sanitary booties they give hospital workers over all my shoes now.