Are you + the U.S. better off than you were 4+ months ago (before Trump made America great)?

During the October 28, 1980, presidential debate between President Jimmy Carter and then presidential candidate Ronald Reagan, Reagan famously called on Americans to ask themselves:

'Are you better off now than you were four years ago? Is it easier for you to go and buy things in the stores than it was four years ago? Is there more or less unemployment in the country than there was four years ago? Is America as respected throughout the world as it was?'

It was a thought-provoking question. And the answer, or so it would appear from Reagan's victory, was "no."

I've been thinking a lot about that quote since Donald Trump took office, and promised to make America great again within 100 days.

So how is Trump doing? Are we (or you) better off than we/you were 4+ months ago?

Speaking personally, the answer is no.

Since Trump took office, our health insurance has gone way up. The value of our house has gone way down. I lost my main source of employment -- and have been unable to find a new one (or one that pays anywhere close to what I was earning, which wasn't much).

I worry about whether we and our children and grandchildren will have clean air to breathe and clean water to drink and whether the Earth will wind up looking like Venus. I worry about Trump starting a nuclear war. I worry about the rights of women and blacks/African Americans and other minorities. And I worry that if I go see a doctor or mental health professional about my anxiety our insurance premiums will skyrocket -- and mental healthcare isn't covered anyway.

As for Reagan's last question, "Is America as respected throughout the world as it was?" The short answer is, no, not even close. In fact, in just over four months, the United States has become the laughingstock of the world, thanks to Trump, who is a constant embarrassment on the world stage. And countries, including the UK (which has its own problems) and Canada, two of the United States's staunchest allies, are distancing themselves from Trump.

Regarding whether it's "easier for you to go and buy things in the store that it was four years ago," I don't have an answer.

And while technically the unemployment rate is low, and was low before Trump took office, I know a whole lot of people who have given up looking for full-time, or even part-time, work, or who found work but now make less money than they did four or 10 or 15 years ago. And I don't see this changing anytime soon, despite what Trump said or says. In fact, companies are continuing to automate and shift jobs out of the country -- and hiring fewer people to do more. And many people who do have jobs aren't paid a livable wage, which Trump and the Republicans don't see as a problem.

Sure, some people -- namely the very rich -- are better off, at least financially, than they were four months ago (thanks to a surging stock market and the rollback of certain regulations). But is America really better off? Are you?

When did we get to be old?

At what point do you become "old"? Is there some age when you go from being "young" to "old"? Is it 40? 50? 60? 70?

Are you "old" when the music you listened to growing up can now only be found on "oldies" or "classic" or  "eighties and nineties" stations?

Do you become "old" when you have kids, or when your kids graduate from high school, or college -- or have kids themselves?

Ask a teenager, and she will tell you 30 is old -- heck 25. (And yes, I feel really old right now typing that. But, as I recall, when I was 16, I thought 30 was old.)

Is "old" a matter of age, or perspective?

The other day, I was with a fifty-something girlfriend (who doesn't seem old to me, or to her), and she complained that "there were all these old people" at the dance performance she went to. I asked her, "what do you mean by old people? Were they in their sixties? Their seventies? Older?"

"Mostly in their seventies," she replied.

So, to people in their fifties (and, I'm guessing, pretty much everyone, except for people in their seventies or older), 70 and over is old.

But is it just age that makes us old -- or is "old" an attitude or the state of your body?

I have always been, or had, an old soul, or felt that in terms of my emotional maturity, and my understanding of the world, I was older than my years. But over the past 10 (okay, 15) years, I felt like my body was quickly catching up.

I can hardly go a day without taking an over-the-counter pain killer, or several (for my almost always aching neck, head, and upper back/shoulder blades). And my eye doctor informs me that it's just a matter of time until I need bifocals. And let us not discuss the number of gray hairs that started sprouting on top of my head shortly after I turned 40.

[I often joke with the spouse, who is partially deaf, wears trifocals, has bad knees, and was prematurely gray, that any day now we're going to wind up in Florida, playing pinochle or gin with a bunch of other altacockers, complaining about our aching backs and other ailments.]

But do I feel old? Yes and no. I still think of or see myself as the person I was in my thirties in many ways -- and I'm skinnier and in better shape than I was in my teens or twenties. But then I pop another ibuprofen, or look at my 17-year-old daughter, and I say to myself, man, I feel old.

So what do you all think? Is there a birthday on which you become "old" -- or is "old" just a state of mind (or body)? Do you feel old? Let me know via a Comment.

Leadership is overrated

What is the obsession with leadership?

While being a good leader is important, if you are the head of a company or an organization, or the head of a department or an initiative, not everyone needs to be, or should be, a leader.

But try telling, or selling, that to College Admissions.

Having good grades, good SAT or ACT, and some sort of extracurricular activity (preferably one you are very good at and have been doing consistently for years) is not enough to get into college anymore. No, you need to be a leader, or exhibit leadership qualities. (Don't believe me? Look at just about any college application, or talk to any college guidance counselor or admissions officer.)

Leadership experience is all fine and good if you are applying to be head of a company. But to expect it of a 17-year-old applying to college? Other than helping their sports team win a title, or being elected head of student government (which, we all know, is generally a popularity contest and the winners rarely actually "lead"), how many 17-year-olds, even captains of their sports teams, or debate teams, have experience being leaders, or have even had the chance or opportunity to lead?

Is it even realistic or desirable to have a world filled with only leaders? Don't too many chefs spoil the broth?

What about good followers? Aren't they important, too? After all, without followers, there are no leaders.

Has anyone ever written a college essay about being a good follower? If not, maybe someone should.

And it's not just colleges that put a premium on leadership (though as the mother of a Junior in high school, college is on my mind). It's everywhere.

Yes, being known for being a good leader is great. But what's wrong with being No. 2, or No. 22 -- or just being a good person who contributes meaningfully to something? Why do we give more weight, and more respect, to those with "Captain" or "CEO" or "Head" in their titles, regardless of the job they are doing or have done, than to the hard-working folks who actual do the work or perform acts of kindness without calling attention to themselves?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject, particularly regarding how to handle the "leadership" question when applying to colleges.

Is the Internet a blessing or a curse? Or both?

I love the Internet. I hate the Internet.

I love how the Internet allows one to conduct research from anywhere there is a computer, or tablet, or smart phone with an Internet connection -- instead of having to go to the library, or several libraries, and spend hours looking up information in card catalogs, in the Readers Guide to Periodical Literature, on microfilm, on microfiche, or in the stacks.

But now there is so much information online, we suffer from information overload -- and much of what we read online isn't factual or fact checked (i.e., is wrong, not true, false), and the lies and gossip and hate spread much more rapidly than before.

I love how you can shop for almost anything online. But I hate having to have dozens of passwords and worrying that they and/or my credit card information could be stolen (via online security breeches).

I love how the Internet gives creative people -- writers, photographers, musicians, artists -- a medium to express themselves and be discovered, often for free. But thanks to the Internet, now people don't want to pay for what they think is or should be free.

I love how the Internet has provided forums for exchanging ideas. But by the same token, the Internet has also given rise to anonymous trolls who write hateful things they would never say in person.

Similarly, I love how the Internet connects or re-connects people, who may live thousands of miles away from each other, and allows you, via social media sites, to see what your friends and colleagues are up to. But now we, or many of us, feel a sense of jealousy or envy or inadequacy or exclusion that we only rarely felt before we were connected 24/7 to everyone else.

So is the Internet a blessing, a curse, or both? What do you think? Please weigh in via the Comments.

Can women of a certain age wear bikinis?

(Or maybe the better question is, Should women of a certain age wear a bikini?)

You know it's almost summer when every day there's a new bikini or swimsuit offer from Victoria's Secret in your in box. And, I have to admit, Victoria's Secret does have some nice bikinis. And I could probably use a new swimsuit, and have actually been thinking about buying a bikini (though probably not one from Victoria's Secret -- unless they include a pair of C-cup breasts with it) as I'm in pretty good shape these days.

But recently I have been wondering if I am too old to be parading around in a bikini. (Not that I would be parading anywhere. More like leisurely strolling or sitting in a chaise longue reading a book.)

Yeah, sure, it's fine for some hot twentysomething swimsuit model to parade around in a bikini. (Curse you, Brooklyn Decker, and your not-so-little Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue friends, too!) But what about the other 99.8% of the female population, especially us women of a certain age? Is it still okay for us to expose our navels and a little bit of derriere in public? Or should I just opt for a muumuu? (Or does it have nothing to do with age and everything to do with confidence and/or how you look?)

Let me know your thoughts -- and if there are any rules for wearing a bikini -- via the Comments.

In the meantime, here's a bonus video clip from "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini," one of seven classic "Beach Party" movies made by American International Pictures back in the 1960s.