Monday, December 1, 2008

I was tagged and now I have to tell you all six random things about me

What is this, eighth grade? A chain letter? Is something bad going to happen to me if I don't play along? Will Betty (aka "Betty Cracker"), the blogger who "tagged" me, find someone to leave a horse's head under my pillow if I cross her? Sigh.

Well, I wouldn't want to provoke Ms. Cracker, so here goes...


1. Link to the person who tagged you. (Check.)
2. Post the rules on your blog. (Check.)
3. Write six random things about yourself. (Check. See below.)
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. (Check. See below that. Though a quibble here: This assumes you know six people who have their own blog, which is quite an assumption.)


1. Despite what some people think, I am really good at keeping secrets -- at least secrets I think worth keeping.

2. I really like watching professional football, albeit my teams, the New York Giants and the New York Jets, even when by myself. (I used to really like watching professional basketball, too, back in the 1990s, when we lived in Chicago and the Bulls were the best -- so much so that I INSISTED on listening to a playoff game while in labor, only to have the doctor, a female, and my spouse insist we turn it off as it was distracting me from pushing. If we had had a boy, we may have had to have named him "Michael," even though Michaels are nothing but trouble.)

3. I love cars -- really fast, expensive ones, though I have never driven or been driven in one. I am particularly fond of old Aston Martins and Bugattis. And if I had $250,000 to spare and didn't care about gas mileage or safety I would seriously consider getting this baby, a 2009 Aston Martin DBS (even though I prefer the old Aston Martin DB5) or a Jaguar XK, even if it isn't as/so quick to accelerate.

4. I once had to ditch my panties while walking home from school on Park Avenue in New York City. As I turned the corner on 92nd or 91st street the elastic broke, and I had to duck behind the pillar of a church to remove my undergarment before it fell down. I then had to walk six more blocks, praying that a strong wind would not blow open my (typical NYC all-girl prep school issue) skirt.

5. I can't stand mayonnaise, salmon, or olives, though I love Russian dressing, salmon sushi, and olive oil. Go figure.

6. I know all the words to "Escape (the Pina Colada song)," or did:

I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long.
Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.
And in the personals column, there was this letter I read:

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
I'm the lady you've looked for, write to me, and escape."

I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean.
But me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine.
So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad.
And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half-bad.

"Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne.
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape.
At a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place.
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face.
It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you."
And we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew"...

"That you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

I also know the lyrics to Rupert Holmes's "Him." I am not sure why.

Finally, who's next, or "it": Dave S. and EMM at Potpourri for $500, Melanie at BeanPaste, Tommy at Blah Blog Blah, Little Miss Cupcake over at Little Miss Cupcake, and Marindenver over at Rumproast. Surprise!


Dave S. said...

I shall do my best. Unfortunately I do not know six other bloggers who would actually respond to this, so I must prepare to suffer whatever step-on-a-crack fate ensues.

Anonymous said...

So, what exactly did you do with the panties? Leave them on a doorknob? Stuff them into a crevice? Offer them to a homeless man? Whenever I see abandoned underwear, usually in the strangest places, I wonder what events precipitated the loss. More details please!

J. said...

I like "offer[ed] them to a homeless man," but I believe I stuffed them into my backpack -- and then tossed them into a garbage when I got to my father's apartment. Fortunately, I avoided having a Britney moment (albeit years before there was a Britney).

EMM said...

Six Random things: I'm left handed, used to hate mushrooms & olives, took baton & fencing lessons, am allergic to cats, don't really like talking on the phone and I don't know 6 other bloggers.

EMM said...

J- your number 4 made me laugh! I suffered 12 years of catholic school uniforms, but never lost my unmentionables.

HumboldtBlue said...

As a former Catholic boy, I must say that I never had the Penthouse Letter moment of meeting one of my classmates panty-less.

Oh well, as Doctor Stephen Maturin once said Don't you worry, the Jesuits will be back to creating atheists in no time. (paraphrase)

As for salomn, I can take it or leave it, and living up here, unless it's smoked by my buddy Kenny, I leave it. Smoked salmon, done properly, is manna.

Olives only made it onto my mother's table during the holidays, therefore, I only eat them between Thanksgiving and Xmas and ignore them the rest of the year.

I too used to ate mushrooms, until I started to cook, and now mushrooms are a constant actor in the dishes I create. (and when I say create I really mean just plain cook

I still hate lima beans though, and the only fencing I have ever done was hopping.

larissa said...

some blogs make me cry
but this is not one of them
many thanks for that

Dave S. said...

Nice try, EMM. You have to make a blog post out of that!

marindenver said...

J. I will think of 6 random things that all revolve around John Wayne. :) Unfortunately I can't come up with any right now. Will surely get on this assignment as soon as I, umm, finish the laundry, and, oh, do some dishes, or watch tv or something?

TommyMac71 said...

Great, more work to do....

What is the statute of limitations for this and getting a horse head in your bed?

So this panties incident? Was this last week during your holiday shopping? And WHERE are you going to find a replacement "Saturday" panties for your day-of-the-week underwear?

I can lend you a pair of Ho! Ho! Ho! boxers, but that might get misconstrued next time you disrobe behind a church pillar -- you dirty, dirty girl!

J. said...

To the tag-ees:

I think it's OK to take a week to post your Six Random Things on YOUR OWN BLOGS.

As for you, Thomas, I was around 16 at the time (a Tuesday or Wednesday, I believe), MORTIFIED, and would have gladly accepted your (thoroughly cleaned and sanitized) Ho-Ho-Ho boxers.

What is it with you Catholic boys, anyway?

Little Miss Cupcake said...

Egads, I will need some time to think about this. Thanks, J!

I love your ditching panties story. That happened to me once with a pair of stockings that lost their elastic. Oh, guess I should post that as one of my 6!

I give you props for knowing all the words to the Pina Colada song -- it was and is one of the greatest songs ever written. ;)

Dave S. said...

OK, I am done...