Friday, March 25, 2016

Solving one of mankind's greatest problems

Forget getting into iPhones. Forget landing a man on Mars. Forget climate change. There is a bigger problem currently facing mankind, one that has plagued man for thousands of years, and, if finally solved, could radically change the way we live -- or sleep.

I am, of course, referring to... The Spooning Dilemma. And what you're supposed to do with that other arm.

Drawing by Christoph Neimann

For centuries, men have been losing sensation in one arm (and have been nearly asphyxiated by a mouthful of hair) as they attempted to cuddle, or spoon, with their partners. And I think it is high time, in an age where we have mattresses that contour to your body and can go up and down, that someone invents a mattress, or a device, to allow for proper spooning.

So, all you engineers and scientists and sleep experts, get on it. The arm you save could be your own.


Anonymous said...


J. said...

@Anonymous, speaking on behalf of the Spouse, we were hoping for a slightly less painful solution.

VB said...

As the spoonee...who cares!? They can man-up-we do so much.

Another David S. said...

I find that my arm fits perfectly in the space between neck and bed. The trick is for the spoonee to rest her head on the bottom edge of the pillow.

As for hair in the face, that's a bit trickier depending on whether the hair is straight or curly. A preliminary smooth-down often does the trick, though, along with a slightly upturned nose to avoid direct inhalation.