Friday, March 4, 2016

Fact checking Donald Trump's penis

Donald Trump is very sensitive about the size of his... fingers.

Of course, we all know why Mr. Trump is touchy about the length of his fingers. It's because, as researchers in Korea found, there is a correlation between the length of a man's fingers and the length of his penis.

So when, 25 years ago, Graydon Carter, then the editor of Spy Magazine, referred to the Donald as a "short-fingered vulgarian," the Orange One took it as personal assault to his manhood. And he has spent the last 25 years insisting that his appendages are, in fact, not small but big. Really big. Make that really really big. We're talking yuge.

Frankly, I'm tired of hearing about Donald Trump's "fingers." (Frankly, I'm tired of hearing about, and from, Donald Trump period.) So I have a proposal: Have one (or more) of the fact checking organizations, say or, get out their measuring tapes and actually measure the length of Trump's various appendages to see if, in fact, they are shorter than average, average, or bigger than average. Heck, measure all the Republican dicks while they're at it, to see who is who's got the biggest one.

Then we can see who is telling the truth.

(As reported in Men's Health, "the average flaccid penis length—from the base to the opening on the tip—[is] 3.6 inches and the circumference, measured around the base or mid-shaft, [is] 3.7 inches." The length of the average erect penis: 5.2 inches.)

You're welcome, America.

THIS JUST IN: From friend of the blog Fact Lovin' Liberal, "Hillary weighs in":


Anna said...

Enquiring minds wanted to know... NOT!!!

VB said...

I thought, last night, just pull them all out and largest one wins the nomination. Would have been more dignified as well as more conclusive.

Dave S. said...

Four more what now?

I'll show myself out.