Monday, September 23, 2013

Enough with skinny jeans + 3/4 sleeves

Men have it easy, at least fashion-wise. You don't have to worry about hemlines -- or waistlines. If you know how to use a tape measure, you can accurately deduce what size shirt and trouser you need. And when buying shoes your biggest decision is typically "brown or black?"

Sure, there have been some embarrassing fashion trends for males -- the polyester suit (and its cousin the leisure suit), the skinny tie, the wide tie, white vinyl shoes. But those are a mere drop in the fashion bucket compared to what we women have had to put up with.

I personally have never dressed for fashion or been one to follow trends. And buying clothing for comfort and fit -- not style or hipness -- was not a major problem. Until the advent of skinny jeans.

Skinny jeans, also known as cigarette or pencil pants, have actually been around for a while. But except for Audrey Hepburn, beatnik poets, girls in 1960s beach party movies, a few punk rockers, and anorexic models, they look good on practically no one. And yet somehow these uber-form-fitting, low-waisted, tapered pants continue to make a comeback -- and unlike in previous decades, refuse to go away.

Indeed, skinny jeans have become so ubiquitous that they have squeezed out nearly every other fit or form of jean (other than "mom jeans," aka "relaxed fit").

Just try finding a pair of attractive straight leg or boot cut or gently flared jeans (as opposed to bell bottoms, which thankfully slunk back to the '70s again) -- that don't hang four inches below your pupik.

I think I'm speaking for most women when I write, women's jean manufacturers, I'm begging you, enough already with the skinny jeans. Give us women over 25, who don't have toothpicks for legs, and have had a kid or two, a break (without forcing us to choose between "skinny" and something with an elastic band and a bubble butt).

And while on the topic of "fashion," 3/4-length sleeves? Really? Whose genius idea was this, designers? Did you receive thousands of letters from women complaining it was too hard to roll-up their sleeves?

WTF is the point of 3/4-length sleeves?

Oh sure, some of those shirts with 3/4-length sleeves look nice. But do you know how annoying it is to wear shirts with sleeves somewhere between the elbow and wrist? You can't wear anything over them, because they bunch up -- and the form-fitting ones cut off your circulation and are often too hot to wear in warm weather. And yet for YEARS now, I keep seeing shirts with 3/4-length sleeves. WHY?

Seriously, how hard is it to roll up your effing sleeves, people? Tell women's clothing designers, enough with 3/4-length sleeves.

Thank you.

This has been a public service announcement.

1 comment:

GSA said...

While I would never dream of contesting my darling daughter, we do differ (mildly) on your latest blog-points.
1. You look great in those skinny jeans. And... I like wearing them too.
2. Diesel, the Gap, and other manufacturers continue to make straight-leg jeans. I've been buying them here from a company called Ober. Of course even their smallest sizes won't fit you.
3. One reason for 3/4 sleeves is to hide less-than-perfect upper arms. Sure you can do that with full-out sleeves but if you roll them up they too get bunchy.
Despite the above, I got a kick out of your blog.