The Belgian Dilemma (World Cup Woes)

As Team USA prepares to play the Belgium National Football Team in the knockout round of the 2014 FIFA World Cup this afternoon, American food and beer lovers face a dilemma.

Belgium is, after all, the country that gave us Belgian waffles (or wafels)...

Belgian chocolate...

Belgian beer...

And moules-frites...

Or what is known in my house as the four basic food groups.

The dilemma: Are we Americans being disloyal if we imbibe Belgian beer with our moule-frites, or anxiously pop Beglian chocolates into our mouths, while watching the World Cup? And if the Belgium National Football Team knocks out Team USA in this afternoon's knockout round of the 2014 FIFA World Cup, do we show our solidarity with our beloved American footballers (aka the US soccer team) and boycott Belgian products? And if so, for how long?

More about Belgium here.

Trying to get excited about the 2010 FIFA World Cup...

and failing.

Sure, sure, the 2010 FIFA World Cup (currently taking place in South Africa) has a catchy song (Shakira's "Waka Waka")...



And some of those soccer -- excuse me, football -- players, or "footballers," are kind of cute...

But I find it very hard to get excited about a sport where you can actually have a 90- or 120-minute game (if there are extra periods) end with a score of 0-0. You call that exciting? Also, those vuvuzelas, which sound like a swarm of angry hornets, are not helping my appreciation for the game, or concentration -- or ESPN's ratings.

Seriously, I have tried to become a World Cup football/soccer fan. (Watched most of USA versus England, or tried to.) But the sport just leaves me bored. (And this is from someone who has no problem watching three hours of baseball -- GO METS!!!)

Maybe if each goal was worth 5 points and the field -- excuse me, pitch -- was a bit smaller and there were cheerleaders or something, we Americans would get more excited about non-American football (aka soccer). But I'm not so sure.

Do any of you have any ideas re how to make soccer/football more appealing/exciting to us uncouth Americans -- to watch, that is? (Plenty of Americans play soccer. We just don't like to watch other people playing it.) If so, leave me a comment.