American Idol rocks out... Plus: I've been tagged by Mattress Police

Another Tuesday night, another hour wasted (?) watching American Idol. Tonight's theme, as you probably guessed from the title of this post, is rock, though it would have been far more interesting/appropriate if the Idol contestants had to sing Latin songs, in honor of Cinco de Mayo. (Let's just hope that despite not having a "proper run through," the performances are not stinkos de mayo.)

Tonight's guest "mentor," Slash (nee Saul Hudson) from Guns N'Roses.

Rock on, Idol dudes!

First up, Adam Lambert, singing Led Zeppelin:

I know you all got a "Whole Lotta Love" for Adam, and it's about effin' time he officially sang some Zeppelin. Except for J-THREE-O freaking out over Adam's hair, which is kinda weird tonight, I quite enjoyed Adam's performance. In a word: BRILLIANT. (You Adam lovers happy now? Good. But wtf is Kara wearing? Simon gonna walk her after the show?)

Next up, Allison Iraheta singing some Janis Joplin:

OMG. Is Allison channeling Elivra?! Seriously, girl, you got amazing pipes, but lousy taste in hair dressers. Fortunately, she is making me "Cry Baby" tears of joy. Another rocktastic performance. (I have no idea what Randy and Kara were talking about. We're voting for Allison.)

And now, Kris Allen and Danny Gokey... together...

and I've got to say, I'm liking this duet thing, though I've always liked "Renegade." Good song choice for these guys. And I'm with Randy that the harmonies were the bomb. But for the record, I thought Danny did a MUCH better job than Kris, who seemed a bit overwhelmed.

Followed by Kris singing solo...

Okay, who wouldn't be intimidated by Slash playing guitar next to him? But oh... my... God. John Lennon must be rolling over in his grave (or weeping in Heaven). That just didn't "Come Together" for me, and I 100% agree with Kara (eek) and Simon (though I like eating ice) that it was not a good performance. Paging Carly Smithson.

Next: Danny sings "Dream On"...

Will he get the scream? Will he? Will he? Feh. To quote the spouse, "This just isn't working for me." Danny just doesn't have the raw sexuality or vocal chords to bring off the Aerosmith classic. And that scream. Ouch. As J-THREE-O noted, "He's going to have laryngitis in the morning." Yup. NEXT.

And we conclude tonight's American Idol with those two hairy canaries, Adam and Allison, singing Fog Hat's "Slow Ride."

Well, at least their hair is coordinated. Not bad. Not bad, dawgs. In fact, I actually thought they sounded pretty good together. And I agree with Randy, they should record a duet together -- and with Simon that Adam may have just saved Allison. I hope so. (Sorry VB, but Kris has got to go.)

Tomorrow on Idol: Chris Daughtry, No Doubt, and... Paula Abdul. Yesssss.

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AMERICAN IDOL UPDATE 5/7/09: As many predicted, the red-headed troll doll (aka Allison Iraheta) is gone. I actually thought, based on everyone's performances last night, that she deserved to stay another week, but Kris has the backing of the powerful cougar lobby and was safe -- and I doubt Danny, despite his bad performance, was going to kicked. (No way Adam was going home after rockin' the Zep.)
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And on a personal note... On Monday I was tagged by blogger Rob "Diesel" Kroese on his blog, Mattress Police. Diesel, who in addition to running Mattress Police runs the site Humor Blogs and by day develops software for Google, has commented on J-TWO-O a couple of times, so I proposed a link exchange. But, instead of giving me a permanent link, he tagged me, in his "Retarded Meme" post, his ultimate quest to become the number one retarded site on the Internet. *Sigh.*

I have mixed feelings about the words retarded and retard, as they can and are often used in a derogatory (i.e., mean and/or demeaning) fashion. And we all know it's not nice to make fun of people who have disabilities, or, in PC language, are "challenged." That said, I did laugh when I saw this poster:


















Anyway, if I want to get a link on Mattress Police, which, when not being retarded, can be quite funny (and gets a lot of traffic), I need to follow The Rules, which are, and I quote:

1. You must write a post using the word retarded. [Check.] I don't care what it's about -- Joe Biden, teenage boys wearing girls' pants, whatever.
2. The word retarded must be a link to this post. [Check.]
3. You are encouraged to tag five other bloggers -- [that would be you, Betty Cracker, and you, TommyMac, and you, Dave S., and you, Marindenver, and you, Mr. Del Franco] -- to do the same. [Check.]

And with that, I bid you adios amigos.