Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The 7 dog groups revised to accurately reflect dog characteristics

As many dog show afficionados and watchers know, "each of the more than 150 AKC registered breeds and varieties are assigned to one of seven groups representing characteristics and functions the breeds were originally bred for."

Those seven groupings consist of:  the Herding Group, the Working Group, the Non-Working Group, the Sporting Group, the Terrier Group, the Hound Group, and the Toy Group.

Some of these groups are obvious to even us non-dog people. But many of these categories, or placements, are confusing. For example, there are terriers who are in the Terrier group and then terriers who fall under the Working and Toy groups. And weren't all hounds designed to be sporting?

So to more accurately represent dogs in a way that both dog lovers and laymen will understand, and appreciate (especially prospective dog owners), I propose the following helpful group names or designations:

The Drooling Group. Pretty self explanatory. Dogs in this group would include Boxers; Bulldogs; Newfoundlands; the Bullmastiff, Mastiff, and Neapolitan Mastiff; the Dogue de Bourdeaux; and the Saint Bernard.

The Hypoallergenic Group. For people who want to own a dog even though they or a loved one are allergic to them. Dogs in this group would include Poodles, the Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier, the Xoloitzcuintle, the Portuguese Water Dog, Schnauzers, the Bedlington Terrier, and the Chinese Crested, the Peruvian Inca Orchid, and other hairless breeds.

The High Maintenance Group. These are dogs that require a lot of grooming. Dogs in this group would include Afghans, Poodles, the Komondor, the Puli, Old English Sheep Dogs, Bichon Frises, Maleteses and Shih Tzus (and many others).

The Noisy Group. Again, pretty self explanatory. Dogs in this group include Beagles, Chihuahuas, Dashsunds, Jack Russell Terriers, Yorkshire Terriers, German Shepherds, Basset Hounds, Lhasa Apsos, Miniature Schnauzers, Pomeranians, and Beagles (among others).

The Hyperactive Group. Not recommended for couch potatoes. Good for herding sheep and children and chasing things, like squirrels, ducks, and postal carriers. Dogs in this group would include Australian Shepherds, Beagles, Border Collies, Boston Terriers, Dalmatians, Irish Setters, Retrievers, Schipperkes, Weimaraners, and Whippets.

The 'Will Fit Under an Airplane Seat or in This Cute Handbag' Group. The ultimate lap accessory. Dogs in this group would include Chihuahuas, Pugs, Papillons, Yorkshire Terriers, and most "miniature" varieties.

The Fetch Me a Beer (Most Trainable) Group. Smarter than the average bear... or dog. Or at least more trainable. Dogs in this group would include Australian Cattle Dogs and Shepherds, Retrievers, Border Collies, German Shepherds, Shiba Inus, Airedale Terriers, and Corgis.

I know I'm leaving out a bunch of dogs, so feel free to suggest additional groups via the Comments section.


Betty Cracker said...

Hahaha! I love it! I was going to say there should be a "farting group," but there would be a lot of overlap.

J. said...

@BettyCracker, I originally called the first group "The Drooling, Farting, and Snoring Group," but that would pretty much include all dogs. ;-)

Dave S. said...

From personal experience with two wonderful Whippet mixes I can tell you that they are not hyperactive. Yes, they are capable of sizable bursts of energy including acceleration to 30+ MPH, and mealtime is more like HOLY SH*T IT'S MEALTIME but most of the time they lounge around on the furniture, in the sunshine if possible.

Wikipedia agrees. Also they have no clue what herding is and only the vaguest sense of retrieving, but say "Bunnies!" as you let them out back and it's off to the races.

Plus, they spin.