Thursday, May 1, 2014

Bow down to your feline overlords

It has now been scientifically proven that cats understand human commands, just as dogs do. They just don't give a sh*t. (Though any cat owner, I mean "servant," could have told the scientists that.)

Moreover, unlike dogs, who take great joy in serving man (and woman), cats take great joy in having us humans serve them....

[H/T FOB Carrie]

Here is what misguided cat servant, Dan, wrote in the About section of that video, titled "Cat rings bell for service and treat": "I trained my cat to ring a bell for treats. Now, when he wants treats, he will lay down in front of the bell and ask his servant, me, to give him.When he gets full, he will push the bell away, and clean his paws."

[J. shakes head sadly. Oh Dan, you weak, foolish human.]

And woe to the cat servant who is distracted from his or her sacred duty (to pet, feed, and grovel before her feline overlord) by silly things like, oh, work, or surfing the Internet -- even if it is to watch cat videos. Though why would anyone want to watch cat videos when he has a cat literally on his computer?


Finally, a word of advice to all you cat owners thinking about getting a dog: Don't.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Having lived with cats-it is true. We serve. And the best part, they make us think we like it!