Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Are the Brits faking it?

Everyone knows that a British accent is way cooler than an American one -- especially the Brits. Which is why I have become increasingly suspicious that the British may be faking it.

Sure, roll your eyes and mock me all you like. But think about it.

Do British musicians -- The Beatles, One Direction, Adele -- sing with a British accent? No. They all sing like Americans.

And just look at how many Brits play Americans on American television and in Hollywood movies! Andrew Garfield, Hugh Laurie, Damian Lewis, Matthew Goode. Bet you didn't even know they were British! And you know why? Because they speak without the slightest trace of a British accent!

And you know why they sound like Americans? Because that so-called "British accent" is totally fake! A ploy to seduce us insecure Americans, or at least our women, and take back the Colonies by stealth! (For chrissake, they hired a Brit to play beloved American action hero Spider-Man! Need I say more?)

There is a reason why bad guys speak with a British accent. (Jag-U-ar, my arse.)

Also, I am beginning to have doubts about the French.


Anonymous said...

But what is their plan????

To make Madonna look like an idiot?

J. said...

@Anonymous, I don't think Madonna needs help from the Brits.