Time for Anoop to "Beat It" and Jorge to "Say Goodbye." Plus, my "American Idol" predictions

For a show where the judges are constantly nagging the contestants to "be current," American Idol sure does seem hypocritical, picking the most non-current singers to feature in its theme weeks, and this week was no exception. Michael Jackson?! When was the last time Michael Jackson had a Number One song? Hey, I loved Michael Jackson in the 1980s, but most of the current contestants on American Idol weren't even born in 1982, when "Thriller" came out.

VISUAL ASIDE: The spouse was the one who pointed this out to me, but have you noticed that new American Idol judge, Kara DioGuardi, is a dead ringer for Valerie Harper as Rhoda in the early days of the Mary Tyler Moore Show?

GETTING BACK TO LAST NIGHT'S AMERICAN IDOL...

Here's how I rate the Top 13:

Lil Rounds: She really knocked me out. LOVE HER. A-

Scott MacIntyre: Eh. It was just okay for me, Dawgs. (Seriously, if this guy wasn't "visually impaired," he would have never gotten this far. He's a good singer but...) B

Danny Gokey: I want to love you... Dan-ny Go-key... A-

Michael Sarver: Oil rig operator with buried talent. Picking the right song. And the kid with the "Vote 4 My Daddy" t-shirt. Priceless. Already forgot what he sang, but I remember he did better than we expected. B+

Jasmine Murray: Looks 10, Song 3. Okay, not that bad. She can sing, and she looked great, but she's just not doing it for me. And bad song choice. Yawn. B

Kris Allen: Again, better than I expected, but totally forgettable. In fact, I already forgot what he sang. B

Alison Iraheta: The girl can sing, and rocked it out, but she leaves me cold. A- (given grudgingly)

Anoop Desai: Song choice, song choice, song choice. Time for Anoop Dawg to "Beat It" back to Chapel Hill. C

Jorge Nunes: Again, BAD SONG CHOICE. Time to say goodbye, Jorge, or as they say in Puerto Rico, adios amigo. C-

Megan Joy Corkrey: She may have rocked her last robin. Time to fly back to Utah. C+

Adam Lambert: Clearly the judges saw and heard something we didn't. If that wasn't a cruise ship performance... Begrudgingly, B+

Matt Giraud: Did NOT like that performance, though I like Matt. B

Alexis Grace: Ouch. Talk about choosing the wrong song. It was like watching Molly Ringwald trying to sing Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog."

Like Simon said, it was very over the top, and not as good as Alexis thought it was. B (and that's being generous)

Btw, the reason the show used "1-866-IDOLS-36" and not "1-866-IDOLS-13" for Alexis, who was the thirteenth singer of the evening, is because it's owned by a phone sex operation. (Don't worry. The link goes to an MSNBC article, not the phone sex operation.) Apparently host Ryan Seacrest discovered this little tidbit Tuesday morning, after dialing the number on his radio show.

So who will be singing for his or her supper elsewhere next week? I'm thinking adios Jorge and buh-bye Desai -- and am looking forward to seeing Kelly Clarkson perform "My Life Would Suck Without You" tonight.

(For the record, I voted for Lil and Danny, both of whom should make it into the Top 5.)

UPDATED WITH THE RESULTS 3/12/09:

No big surprises last night, except for Kelly Clarkson singing off key (and looking a little more "substantial" than in her video -- I know, "meow"). By rights, Jorge and Anoop should have gone home, or Jorge and Megan, as American Idol is supposedly a singing contest, but Jasmine blew it with her song choice (and it wasn't the first time), and the judges were right not to "save" her.

And yes, that is the new rule mentioned on Tuesday. Up until the Top 5, the judges can save a contestant from elimination once (i.e., if that person gets the fewest votes the following week, he/she is going home), but the decision has to be unanimous. And if someone gets saved (cough, Adam, Danny, Lil, Allison, and Scott), then two people supposedly get eliminated the following week, unless one of them is saved. Got it?

On a somewhat related note, it's "heartleSS," with an s at the end, Kanye, not "heartleh." Or maybe I'm just not dope enough to get how the kids these days are pronouncing it. (And what was the deal with the towel and low-butt jeans and the black leather gloves, Kanye? You planning on working on one of your rides after the show? Doing a little plumbing?)