Friday, February 13, 2009

Can't figure out what to get your guy or gal for Valentine's Day this year? Never fear, J-TWO-O to the rescue!

Forget the flowers and the chocolates and the Hallmark cards this Valentine's Day. Instead, how about getting a little creative?

Like how about a little "personalized erotic fiction" -- that you can instantly mail? Yeah baby. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout. ; ) And so, apparently, do the people over at HoochyMail, "the first internet service that allows you to create a thrilling, explicit erotic fantasy about yourself and your special someone, doing all sorts of exciting and sexy things, in all sorts of exotic and interesting locales!" (Which, in my house, would mean me watching my spouse vacuum the kitchen floor. Ooo, I am getting hot just thinking about it!)

Or maybe your special someone would like a pair of personalized panties or briefs. In which case, click on over to Blume Girl, which makes custom underwear for guys and gals (as well as babies and dogs).

Or what about a cute pair of PJs for your dream girl, guys, from Pajamagram? (Sorry guys, perky breasts not included.)

Or for you geeks out there, how 'bout some "Proximity Based Geek Lovin'" in the form of the ThinkGeek 8-Bit Dynamic Life Shirt?



(The spouse actually got us the shirts a couple years ago, but I am ashamed to say we have yet to wear them.)

Or to help stoke those erotic fantasies (see "HoochyMail," above), how about giving her (or him) some luscious chocolate-covered strawberries? Mmm mmm, that looks tasty. (And remember, dark chocolate is good for you!)

Just can't be bothered? You can still give my favorite gift, which lasts a lifetime (or at least a few minutes) and costs nothing: Look into your loved one's eyes and say "I love you."

UPDATED AT 4:20 P.M.: Commenter "Kay the Jeweler" thinks my last suggestion is a cop out, which it is. So may I suggest, instead, you get your beloved a nice poster for Valentine's Day?

6 comments:

Little Miss Cupcake said...

Well, I had to check out the Hoochy Mail out of curisoity. How funny! I love that you can select the level of "hooch" to your story. Who knew there was something more explicit than X-rated? Apparently they have something called "Off the wall" that is even hotter!

Kay the Jeweler said...

Total copout on your last piece of advice there.

J. said...

Guilty as charged, Kay the Jeweler. I should have gone with Jared. ; )

And thanks, Little Miss Cupcake for that bit of investigative reporting.

larissa said...

Little Miss Cupcake
Makes me pine for a cupcake
Big chocoholic

EMM said...

I'm taking myself shoe shopping to show how much I care about me! After a week of 12+ hour days at work, I deserve it.

Will be spending this Valentine's evening w/ single girlfriends...one has volunteered to cook the girls a lovely dinner w/ lots of wine and chick flicks.

xxoo EMM

J. said...

Sounds like a great way to spend V Day, EMM.

And LMC has that affect on me too, Larissa.