Why we love/hate Sarah Palin

Ever since she burst onto the national scene (thanks for nothing, John McCain) just over two years ago now, I have been trying to figure out what it is about Sarah Palin that makes some people practically swoon (Sean Hannity) at the sight of her while making others practically bang their head into the nearest wall (the list is too long to include here) the second she opens her mouth. And I think I may have finally figured it out. Sort of.

Herewith, a bulleted list of why people love/hate Sarah Palin.

Why People Love Sarah Palin

* She's very attractive
* She's charismatic
* She's feisty
* She's confident
* She always smiles
* She's unapologetic
* She doesn't make people feel stupid (indeed, quite the contrary)
* She's makes people who were not good students, who hated school and felt looked down upon by "the smart kids," and who quit when things got tough, feel good or better about themselves

Don't get me wrong. These are all fine traits -- great traits even, well, except maybe for that last one -- especially when used for a good cause. Of course, they also describe many cult leaders (and if you don't think that the whole Sarah Palin phenomenon is some kind of cult of personality, take another hit) and some serial killers.

Okay. So I can see why so many people like and admire Sarah Palin (and the Jersey Shore's Snooki, for that matter). Confidence is very attractive, and sexy, especially in stiletto heels and a tight skirt. You betcha. Oh, and if you think looks don't matter, guess again. I guarantee you that if Sarah Palin looked like Sharron Angle or Carly Fiorina no way would she be this popular -- or have her own television show(s). Nor would her daughter, Bristol Palin, be a contestant -- excuse me, finalist -- on Dancing with the Stars. (But that is a different blog post.)

So why do so many people (namely people who attended and graduated from just one college, which they worked really hard to get into and graduate from, who value and respect book learning and intellectual curiosity, and look down on liars and quitters) hate her? And no, that is not a rhetorical question (though on second thought...).

Why People Hate Sarah Palin

* She's feisty
* She's charismatic
* She's unapologetic
* She's confident
* She always smiles
* She's very attractive
* She makes people who were good students, who pride themselves on being informed and accurate and intellectually curious, want to pull their hair out
* She's like that pretty, popular mean girl in high school, who was good at sports and dated the captain of the football team, thought studying and getting As were for losers, who wouldn't give a nerd the time of day, and made other girls who weren't as pretty or popular feel bad about themselves (especially if they were good students)

Though many Palin supporters would simply say -- or rather shout -- "You're just jealous!" And that may be true. But I'll tell you this, I would rather have a smart, confident, unapologetic woman like Hillary Clinton be President of the United States than a proudly ignorant, confident, unapologetic woman like Sarah Palin -- any day.

UPDATED: Et tu, Fox News? (And you thought Alaska was cold.)



UPDATED: Love this paragraph from Frank Rich's latest column -- on Palin:

[L]ogic doesn’t apply to Palin. What might bring down other politicians only seems to make her stronger: the malapropisms and gaffes, the cut-and-run half-term governorship, family scandals, shameless lying and rapacious self-merchandising. In an angry time when America’s experts and elites all seem to have failed, her amateurism and liabilities are badges of honor. She has turned fallibility into a formula for success.

Yup.

Shatner vs. Palin (Tonight Show Poetry Slam)

One of the best (if not the best) segments on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien this season has been Emmy Award-winner and Master Thespian William Shatner reading excerpts from Sarah Palin's speeches and tweets -- and now her autobiography, Going Rogue.

This time, though, the former Governor of Alaska (aka Sarah Palin) turned the tables on William Shatner by reading from his autobiography, Up Till Now.



While Palin acquitted herself commendably, the snaps go to Shatner in what I hope will be the first of many Tonight Show Poetry Slams.

From Sarah Palin to Jenna Jameson: It's porn week on Oprah!

And I gotta hand it to the queen of the talk show. She knows how to get an audience aroused!

First Oprah warms us up with a little soft (or political) porn, i.e., former GILF and Sean Hannity wet dream Sarah Palin on Monday*. Though while the approximately 60-minute interview may have gotten the job done for some Conservative Republican males, I have to say it left me dry. (Far more titillating would be watching/listening to what Oprah said to Gayle King after the interview, though I doubt we'll ever get to see or hear that conversation.)

Now today Oprah has on Jenna Jameson, "an American entrepreneur" and the "Queen of Porn," to discuss why more and more women are using porn and erotica. (Though why Oprah needs 50 minutes to discuss this is beyond me.) Doing the reporting for this hard-hitting segment is Lisa Ling. (And boys, correct me if I am wrong but is there anything sexier than a sexy Asian chick discussing porn, okay, after performing it?)

Whoever said sex doesn't sell?

*If you missed Oprah's interview with former Alaska governor Sarah Palin yesterday, check out this post/recap from Wonkette. You will not regret it. H/T to Kevin K. at Rumproast.

Is Levi Johnston Sarah Palin's Sarah Palin?

Somewhere, Meghan McCain is rubbing her hands with glee. Levi Johnston has struck again, this time in Vanity Fair, bashing Sarah Palin's good name, or rather good parenting.

I think this line from Gail Collins' NYT column yesterday, "The Revenge of Levi," pretty much sums up the situation:

Given the fact that Johnston is a 19-year-old high school dropout whose mother was arrested last year on six felony drug counts, it is conceivable that he is not the perfect arbiter of normal families. But even if he were an Eagle Scout with a scholarship to Harvard, can you imagine anything worse than discovering your daughter’s teenage ex-boyfriend has been given a national platform to discuss his impressions of her mom’s parenting skills?

Actually, I can imagine something worse, Gail: discovering that the Republican candidate for President has given a national platform to a former hockey mom from Alaska who thinks she's an expert on foreign affairs because she can see Russia from her window. (As more than one person infamously quipped in response, "I can see the moon from my window. Does that make me an effing astronaut?")

But getting back to Levi Johnston, the Grandbaby Daddy, who has about as much credibility as Joe the Plumber (okay, maybe a bit more when it comes to the Palin family), Sarah Palin created this monster by dragging him into the national spotlight in the first place. (And I will not get into the Family Palin's hypocritical support of abstinence only education here. But let this be a lesson to all you mom's reading this: You could wind up being a grandma in your 40s, with a grandbaby daddy like Levi, if you don't educate your daughters properly about sex.)

And unlike Sarah Palin, Levi Johnston was dragged somewhat unwillingly into the media's glare. So really, she only has herself to blame. Though, like Gail Collins, I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

This just in: Levi has apparently agreed to pose for Playgirl, albeit in skivvies. And no, I will not be checking out his spread.

In other news... Michael Jackson, now dead and buried.... Mark Sanford still governor of South Carolina.... Rod Blagojevich's tell-all hits bookstores September 8.... Jon & Kate still filled with hate.... And a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to friend of the blog Dave S.

Quick, get a virgin, before Mount Redoubt blows its top and Alaska is cloaked in darkness!

Though really, would any one notice? It's, like, light for what, two hours, in Alaska this time of year?

But getting back to today's big story: Mount Redoubt in Alaska is erupting again! And unless the good people of Anchorage (located just 100 miles Northeast of the volcano) want to wind up like the citizens of Pompeii, they better pony up a virgin.

(Btw, the last time Mount Redoubt erupted was nearly 20 years ago, not long after Sarah Heath lost her virginity to Todd Palin. Coincidence? I think not.)

Clearly, the gods are angry at us humans as just last week another (albeit undersea) volcano erupted off of Tonga, in the South Pacific.

What's next, Yellowstone?

Clearly, if we want to appease the gods, and save our national parks, there is only thing to do: make a sacrifice.

I believe King Julien in Madagascar 2 does a good job of explaining how the process works:



(For the latest news and observations about Mount Redoubt, visit the Alaska Volcano Observatory's website. FYI: We are up to a Code Red alert.)

Can the Jets OutFox(borough) the Patriots? And Will Sarah Palin EVER Shut Up?

Yes, ladies and gentleman, only on this blog, J-TWO-O, do you see two of the most important questions of our time (okay, this week) addressed simultaneously.

First, the Jets (and the Patriots). The last time the New York Jets held a share of first place in the AFC East this late in the season was 2004. And four years is a loooong time for football fans, especially Jets football fans, who are not a patient (nor a polite) lot.

But with New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady still being nursed back to health by the lovely Gisele, several other key Patriots players out for at least the regular season, and the Jets, with new QB Brett Favre at the helm and just signed cornerback Ty Law (a former Patriot) on a winning streak, anything is possible, even in Foxborough.

The game will be broadcast live starting at eight tonight on the NFL Network, and on Channel 11 (WPIX or "the CW," as it is now known) in the New York Metropolitan area. And I will be watching (until I fall asleep, probably at the half or sometime in the third quarter).

As for the Governor of Alaska... Is there no stopping or shutting up this woman?! Clearly, God works in strange and mysterious ways. Or maybe He/She just got tired of listening to Ms. Palin using His/Her name in vain and just stuck on His/Her hPhones and tuned out.

Attention all male pundits, politicos, reporters, news show hosts and member of Fox News (both male and female): Please take a cold shower, lay off the Viagra (or Cialis), and stop shoving your microphones in this woman's mouth. Please? Instead, go order yourself an extra large pizza, with all the toppings, get yourself a six pack or some really good microbrew, and watch tonight's football game instead. Now that's something worth tackling.

UPDATED 11/14/08 AT 8:23 A.M.: We're number one, hey! We're number one, hey! Okay, in the American Football Conference East. Who'd a thunk it, though, huh? But the Jets managed to eke out a win over former Super Bowl champs the New England Patriots last night, 34 - 31 in overtime (though I was long asleep by then) on the Patriots home turf. Well done, Gang Green. Now onward and upward, to Tennessee and the undefeated Titans (the real ones, though I personally think it would be hysterical if the Jets wore their New York Titans uniforms next week). Stay tuned, Jets fans... (Now if only someone would put Ms. Palin in her place.)

Gidget Goes to Washington (University)

Bottom line: Sarah Palin did FINE in last night's first and only vice-presidential debate, held at Washington University in St. Louis. Although clearly nervous (and who wouldn't be?), she stayed on message, didn't make any major gaffes, looked good (more about that in a minute), and even sounded good (though what is the deal with Republicans being unable to pronounce the word "nuclear"?).

Similarly, Joe Biden, who had me totally tearing up when he talked about the death of his first wife and daughter (at Christmastime no less!), being a single parent, and nearly losing his sons, did FINE. Actually, I thought he did better than fine. But Palin's proverbial bar was set much lower for this debate and let's face it, everyone was watching and focusing on her and what she would say or wouldn't. So no matter how erudite or knowledgeable or thoughtful Biden was or sounded, pretty much no one cared.

So what are my takeaways from last night's debate?

* Coaching and practicing goes a long way -- possibly all the way to the White House. And clearly both of the VP candidates were coached and practiced their lines, many times, before going on stage last night. Perhaps a little too much. As my friend and neighbor, G., said this morning at the bus stop (in exasperation), their performances bordered on the robotic. You could ask these two pretty much anything and they would just spit out some piece of party rhetoric, no matter what answer the question called for (though Biden actually did answer most, if not all, of the questions before veering off; something Palin did less often).

* Palin looked NERVOUS and was actually shaking at the beginning, which made me feel sorry for her -- and really angry at the people who shoved her into this role, including John McCain. I do NOT want to feel sorry for the person who is running for VP and could very well be president in a year or five. That scares me. And Palin, in the beginning, and at other points, looked SCARED, though she did fine. She also seemed awestruck by the whole thing and in meeting Joe Biden (who, when I last checked, was not a rock star or celebrity, though he is kinda cute with those twinkly blue eyes and big ole toothy smile).

So, is Palin Dan Quayle in a skirt? I'm not willing to go that far. But I like my vice presidents to look confident and secure and, dare I say, vice presidential, not like a starry-eyed teen on her first trip to the big city. (Speaking of which, in "Gidget Grows Up," which starred a very Sarah Palinesque-looking Karen Valentine, shown at right, Gidget goes to the United Nations, where she meets all sorts of foreign dignitaries, just like Sarah Palin!)

* Sarah has lost weight. Could it be the stress of the campaign has gotten to her? Hey, women notice these things! Not saying whether it is a good thing or a bad thing. Just a woman thing. Clearly, the last few weeks have been stressful for her, and she probably hasn't had a lot of time to eat or eat much. That or she was wearing Spanx.

* And did you check out the shoes Governor Palin was wearing?! Those babies must have had four-inch high stiletto heels on them! Amazing she could think straight in those things. And my were they shiny! Back in the day, my friends and I used to call those type of shoes "kiss-me f**k-me's." And I am sure there were plenty of Republicans in the audience, both at Wash U and at home, who would like to have (and probably some Dems, too).

* I genuinely think (from watching last night's debate) that Palin truly believes her ticket is going to really help working class families -- and that she, personally, really cares about education (which may be why she spent time at not one but six different colleges). OK, but SERIOUSLY, I felt she was genuine and sincere when she spoke about helping working class families (though I didn't hear a lot or any specifics, except for drilling more in the U.S., including in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge) and education, though I literally fell off the bed when she did the shout out to her brother's third-grade class. I am sure thousands of viewers found that endearing, but it was far more appropriate for a game show than a debate show, though these debates have plenty of gamesman-or womans-ship.

UPDATED AT 12:00 NOON: I was just sent this article from The International Herald Tribune, titled "Estimates show Palin assets top $1 million." To me (and probably a lot of you) that doesn't exactly sound middle class (or that the Palins are really struggling), though both Palin and her husband work (so could be considered "working" class, if you stretched the definition). But with an income of at least $230,000 and valuable property and a plane and the government paying her to stay in her own home, I think Palin's definition of "working class" and mine are different. Thanks to Lietzy for pointing this out.

* While at times looking and sounding a bit robotic or wonkish, Joe Biden looked and sounded knowledgeable, thoughtful, and yes, vice presidential. And, OK, there's just something about the guy that makes me like and trust him -- just as there are those of you out there who really like Sarah Palin and trust her, no matter what she says or said, did or does.

* I may be going soft but I found the scene after the debate ended with the families all going up on stage and chatting and shaking hands with each other very touching -- and sweet.

So, was this debate, as the pundits like and continue to say, a "game changer"? I don't think so. I think Republicans are breathing a HUGE sigh of relief today (except maybe those in the House who are going to have to vote on the "Rescue Plan," again, today) and many Democrats and pundits are disappointed Palin did OK (or worse, better than OK).

As Chris Matthews said the other day, "Que Sarah Sarah," whatever will be, will be.

Will Gidget and Moondoggie make it to the White House with the Big Kahuna? Or will it be that tall skinny black guy with the exotic name from Hawaii and Fightin' Joe who will go?

Stay tuned for the next debate, scheduled for October 7 (unless, of course, McCain decides to suspend his campaign again and refuses to debate Obama).

Btw, for those of you interested in knowing which slings or statements were true, mostly true, barely true, or false, got to Politifact.com, which is a non-partisan fact-checking service of the St. Petersburg Times and features the "Truth-o-Meter."

John McCain picks Stepford wife Sarah Palin as VP. (But did he know the abstinence preacher's teenage daughter got pregnant out of wedlock?)

I am hyper organized and very driven, yet there are days I feel like I can barely manage being a full-time mom to one kid, a dutiful wife, taking care of our house and cats, and running my own small business. And here is this woman, Sarah Palin, the recently (in 2006) elected governor of Alaska agreeing to take on the role of VP....

There she is, standing beside presumptive GOP presidential nominee John S. McCain, Sarah Palin, a "devoted" and "devout" mother of five (including a baby born with Down Syndrome in April) and self-described "hockey mom," impeccably dressed, coiffed, manicured, and made up -- a fortysomething babe -- (while I sit here at my computer, makeup-less, with chipped nail polish, in a long-sleeved t-shirt and clam diggers) calling all the attention to and lavishing praise on her very hunky husband, Todd, the man she most admires (her words), her beautiful girls standing behind her, her eldest son awaiting troop deployment to Iraq, gazing adoringly at her hero, John McCain, in between sentences...

Republicans, does it get any better than this?

(I bet Bill Clinton would have loved to have had a feisty babe like Palin serve under him -- or on top; and you can bet McCain doesn't object to all that hugging.)

I had a feeling that McCain would pick a woman, though I thought it would be Kay Bailey Huthison or Elizabeth Dole -- though back on June 27 one astute reader of this blog, "Ted," wrote: "Now that we’re beyond Hillary, we can look forward to the first female VP, Sarah Palin, to become the first female President of the United States in 4 years!" So tip o' my hat to you, Ted. You were right!

To her credit, Governor Palin of Alaska said ALL the right things in her speech today at the Nutter Center. (Nutter Center?! David Letterman and Jon Stewart are going to have a field day with that one.) She was well spoken, gracious, and seemed to reach out across the proverbial aisle to "all those who love this country" (including the one lone black guy in the Dayton crowd, and his daughter, who were strategically placed right behind McCain and Palin).

While I am all for seemingly intelligent, sassy, petite brunettes (finally someone shorter than McCain!) getting into higher office, as someone who was against going to war in Iraq when the enemy was nowhere near there, who wants this country to get out of Iraq and get off of oil (all oil) ASAP (Palin is all about drilling wherever), and who has seen "devoutness" to one religion or another used as an excuse to kill and mistreat people who are not like them, this GOP ticket has me very nervous.

To paraphrase another petite, sassy, ambitious brunette, Fasten your seat belts, presidential watchers. It's going to be a bumpy 67 days.

(Note: Just after posting this, I discovered a great little post on the Dallas Morning News blog entitled "Five reasons why Sarah Palin is a laugh-out-loud choice for VP," which is well worth a click and a read, as well as Timothy Egan's very good (and short) piece on "Ms. Alaska" in this afternoon's NYtimes.com.)

SPECIAL LABOR DAY EVANGELICAL FAMILY VALUES UPDATE: This just in: Bristol Palin, the 17-year-old daughter of "abstinence only" devout Evangelical Christian GOP VP pick Sarah Palin, is FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT! Per a 12:25 p.m. New York Times's "The Caucus" blog post, Bristol "plans" on marrying the father. Plans?! You betcha -- as soon as the McCain camp found out. (Hey, maybe they should have picked Lynne Spears, Jamie Lynn's mom, for VP instead of Palin.) According to The Caucus report, the McCain camp new about Bristol's delicate condition -- yet (increasingly mystifyingly) picked her mom, Sarah, who practically abandoned her baby born with Down Syndrome just three days after giving birth in April to get back to work, anyway. Assuming that's true (and I'm not sold that it is), that's gotta make you seriously question McCain's judgment (if you haven't already).

Those are some family values the Republicans/Evangelicals got. Do as we say, not as we do. (How do you feel about "abstinence only" sex education now, Governor Palin? And lest anyone has forgotten, McCain cheated on his first wife, with Cindy Lou, whom he later married.) All I can say is the McCain camp should be grateful another whirlwind -- Gustav -- is taking up the majority of air time today, greatly shortening the Republican National Convention and leaving them another day to put a positive spin on the Labor Day bombshell.

THE DAY AFTER UPDATE: Just read Elisabeth Bumiller's article from September 1's New York Times article, entitled "Disclosures on Palin Raise Questions on Vetting Process," to hear the latest Palin bombshells.

Btw, I don't care that Bristol Palin is pregnant out of wedlock or that Sarah Palin had her first son, Track, eight months after eloping. I actually feel sorry for Bristol, who, because of her mom's rising political career had/has no choice re this child. What I do care about is that if elected, this woman, Sarah Palin, is going to do her best to make abstinence-only education the only kind of sex education available to our children, a policy that she couldn't even get her flesh and blood to follow and that will have enormous negative and perhaps tragic repercussions.