Yet another reason to hate the New England Patriots

Let me just state for the record, I hate Tom Brady*, and I hate the New England Patriots** (even though I live in New England). And I did not shed a tear when Tom Brady was suspended for four games this season. Nor did I believe that Tom Brady not playing would stop the Patriots from winning the AFC East again. Because the New England Patriots don't play fair. In fact, I'm not sure their players are even human. Don't believe me? Look who Bill Belichick replaced Tom Brady with, Superman!

Superman, who can change the course of mighty football games, throw footballs with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Jimmy Garoppolo, mild-mannered quarterback for a great New England football team, fights a never-ending battle for first downs, touchdowns, and the American Football Conference.

I call foul!

(Also, what's with the cleft chins, New England Patriots?)

Look, I am not one of those women -- or "football babes," as my brother-in-law used to (still?) refer to them -- who watches football just to ogle a bunch of cut guys in tight pants. (Though if a guy happens to look good in his football uniform, who am I to complain?.) But how are Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Jets supposed to compete with that?

Just bring back Tom Brady. Or maybe the Jets should recruit their own superhero.



*Even though I think he is one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game -- certainly the greatest in my adult lifetime.

**Or, more specifically, Bill Belichick.

Giants vs. Patriots: Which team has the better moves?

And by "moves," I am, of course, referring to touchdown moves.

Going head to head this Super Bowl Sunday are...

New York Giants' wide receiver Victor Cruz, he of the hip-swiveling "Touchdown Salsa" dance:



and fellow wide receiver Hakeem Nicks, aka Mr. "Dirty Bird":



vs. New England Patriots' tight end Rob Gronkowski, with his special brand of spiking the football now known as "Gronking":



Personally, my money is on future Dancing with the Stars disco ball trophy winner Victor Cruz and Hakeem Nicks -- and the Giants.

Super Bowl XLVI prediction: Giants-Patriots rematch

I realize that the chances of the New York Giants making it past the Green Bay Packers and then the New Orleans Saints (or the San Francisco 49ers) are slim, but hey, a lot of us (me included) didn't think the G-Men would get this far.

And dang if the Giants didn't look good against the Atlanta Falcons yesterday -- beating the birds 24-2! (Here at J-TWO-O Central we now refer to Mario Manningham as Super Mario.)



As for the New England Patriots, while we know their recent playoff (and Super Bowl) record is not the best, I've got a feeling about this one. And not just because the Patriots destroyed the Broncos last time they met.

(In the words of Jesus Sudeikis, from one of my favorite recent Saturday Night Live skits, "If I'm the son of God, Tom Brady's got to be the guy's nephew.")



So who do you all think is going to Super Bowl XLVI? Leave your prediction in the Comments section.

Go Giants!

UPDATED 1/15/12: Giants beat the Packers! Giants beat the Packers -- 37-20! We are one step closer to the dream, Giants fans. (Though, of course, I have probably just jinxed the G-Men.) See you in San Francisco, Giants fans!

UPDATED 1/22/12: OMG, the Giants beat the 49ers 20-17 in overtime! The Giants are going to the Super Bowl -- as are the Patriots, who beat the Ravens earlier today. OMG!!! It's the Giants versus the Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI! We may win the football pool yet!

UPDATED 2/6/12: GIANTS WIN! OMG! GIANTS BEAT THE PATRIOTS 21-17 IN ANOTHER NAIL BITER! WE WON THE SUPER BOWL!

Jets vs. Patriots: This time it's personal

I just love me some good football smack talk, though I think the Jets are asking for trouble talking smack about the New England Patriots and QB Tom Brady right now (especially considering the whooping they got the last time they played them).

[NOTE: This video, which I found after I wrote this post, is probably NOT safe for work -- that is, if you are familiar with Rex Ryan's verbal stylings.]



Do you really think calling Patriots quarterback Tom Brady an a-hole is going to help the Jets cause, Antonio Cromartie? Or do you think it's an invitation to a major butt-kicking?

As for Jets Coach Rex "Footloose" Ryan, a media gift who keeps on giving, if the Jets beat the Patriots this Sunday, no one will care what smack he talked about Tom Brady or the Patriots. In fact, sports talk radio hosts (yes, I'm talking to you, Craig Carton) will sing his praises come Monday morning. But if the Jets lose.... (Yeah, yeah, Patriots fans, pipe down.)

Btw, Jets and Jets fans have not been the only ones talking smack about this Sunday's big big AFC divisional playoff game between the New York Jets (of New Jersey) and the New England Patriots at Gillette Stadium. Patriots Wide Receiver Wes Welker had a few choice foot metaphors for Rex Ryan and the Jets. And this Pats fan (see video, below) also has some opinions about Sunday afternoon's Jets - Patriots matchup.

[NOTE: This video is also not entirely safe for work, unless you are a Patriots fan.]



But let me ask all of you. (All five of you.) What do you guys think about football smack talk and, more importantly, about this Sunday's big game between the Jets and Patriots?

Let me know via a blog comment.

And even though we took the Pats in the NFL playoff pool (hangs head in shame)... GO JETS!

UPDATED 1/17/11: Jets won! Jets won! Still can't quite believe it. To Pittsburgh -- and beyond!

Can the Jets OutFox(borough) the Patriots? And Will Sarah Palin EVER Shut Up?

Yes, ladies and gentleman, only on this blog, J-TWO-O, do you see two of the most important questions of our time (okay, this week) addressed simultaneously.

First, the Jets (and the Patriots). The last time the New York Jets held a share of first place in the AFC East this late in the season was 2004. And four years is a loooong time for football fans, especially Jets football fans, who are not a patient (nor a polite) lot.

But with New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady still being nursed back to health by the lovely Gisele, several other key Patriots players out for at least the regular season, and the Jets, with new QB Brett Favre at the helm and just signed cornerback Ty Law (a former Patriot) on a winning streak, anything is possible, even in Foxborough.

The game will be broadcast live starting at eight tonight on the NFL Network, and on Channel 11 (WPIX or "the CW," as it is now known) in the New York Metropolitan area. And I will be watching (until I fall asleep, probably at the half or sometime in the third quarter).

As for the Governor of Alaska... Is there no stopping or shutting up this woman?! Clearly, God works in strange and mysterious ways. Or maybe He/She just got tired of listening to Ms. Palin using His/Her name in vain and just stuck on His/Her hPhones and tuned out.

Attention all male pundits, politicos, reporters, news show hosts and member of Fox News (both male and female): Please take a cold shower, lay off the Viagra (or Cialis), and stop shoving your microphones in this woman's mouth. Please? Instead, go order yourself an extra large pizza, with all the toppings, get yourself a six pack or some really good microbrew, and watch tonight's football game instead. Now that's something worth tackling.

UPDATED 11/14/08 AT 8:23 A.M.: We're number one, hey! We're number one, hey! Okay, in the American Football Conference East. Who'd a thunk it, though, huh? But the Jets managed to eke out a win over former Super Bowl champs the New England Patriots last night, 34 - 31 in overtime (though I was long asleep by then) on the Patriots home turf. Well done, Gang Green. Now onward and upward, to Tennessee and the undefeated Titans (the real ones, though I personally think it would be hysterical if the Jets wore their New York Titans uniforms next week). Stay tuned, Jets fans... (Now if only someone would put Ms. Palin in her place.)