Quick, get a virgin, before Mount Redoubt blows its top and Alaska is cloaked in darkness!

Though really, would any one notice? It's, like, light for what, two hours, in Alaska this time of year?

But getting back to today's big story: Mount Redoubt in Alaska is erupting again! And unless the good people of Anchorage (located just 100 miles Northeast of the volcano) want to wind up like the citizens of Pompeii, they better pony up a virgin.

(Btw, the last time Mount Redoubt erupted was nearly 20 years ago, not long after Sarah Heath lost her virginity to Todd Palin. Coincidence? I think not.)

Clearly, the gods are angry at us humans as just last week another (albeit undersea) volcano erupted off of Tonga, in the South Pacific.

What's next, Yellowstone?

Clearly, if we want to appease the gods, and save our national parks, there is only thing to do: make a sacrifice.

I believe King Julien in Madagascar 2 does a good job of explaining how the process works:



(For the latest news and observations about Mount Redoubt, visit the Alaska Volcano Observatory's website. FYI: We are up to a Code Red alert.)