It takes (smaller) balls to be a good father

Why are some men better fathers -- that is, better at nurturing their offspring -- than others? According to a threesome at Emory University in Atlanta, it may very well have to do with the size of the father's testicles. And it appears that when it comes to nurturing or caring for children, and the family jewels, less is more. (More proof that good things come in small packages?)

How did the intrepid researchers figure this out? In a nutshell, they scanned "the brains and berries" of 70 male volunteers while showing them pictures of their child. And the researchers found that the part or parts of the brain believed to be responsible for nurturing were more active in the fathers with less cojones. 

[Quick aside: Anyone else amused and amazed by the number of synonyms for testicles?]

While the findings are not conclusive, they are consistent with observations of other primates, specifically chimpanzees (larger testicles, not good caregivers) and gorillas (smaller testicles, attentive fathers).

So ladies, when sizing up potential candidates to be the father of your child, "choose dads with smaller 'nads." (Lower testosterone levels also make for a more nurturing parent.)

Btw, you can read the study, titled "Testicular volume is inversely correlated with nurturing-related brain activity in human fathers," here.

Is Levi Johnston Sarah Palin's Sarah Palin?

Somewhere, Meghan McCain is rubbing her hands with glee. Levi Johnston has struck again, this time in Vanity Fair, bashing Sarah Palin's good name, or rather good parenting.

I think this line from Gail Collins' NYT column yesterday, "The Revenge of Levi," pretty much sums up the situation:

Given the fact that Johnston is a 19-year-old high school dropout whose mother was arrested last year on six felony drug counts, it is conceivable that he is not the perfect arbiter of normal families. But even if he were an Eagle Scout with a scholarship to Harvard, can you imagine anything worse than discovering your daughter’s teenage ex-boyfriend has been given a national platform to discuss his impressions of her mom’s parenting skills?

Actually, I can imagine something worse, Gail: discovering that the Republican candidate for President has given a national platform to a former hockey mom from Alaska who thinks she's an expert on foreign affairs because she can see Russia from her window. (As more than one person infamously quipped in response, "I can see the moon from my window. Does that make me an effing astronaut?")

But getting back to Levi Johnston, the Grandbaby Daddy, who has about as much credibility as Joe the Plumber (okay, maybe a bit more when it comes to the Palin family), Sarah Palin created this monster by dragging him into the national spotlight in the first place. (And I will not get into the Family Palin's hypocritical support of abstinence only education here. But let this be a lesson to all you mom's reading this: You could wind up being a grandma in your 40s, with a grandbaby daddy like Levi, if you don't educate your daughters properly about sex.)

And unlike Sarah Palin, Levi Johnston was dragged somewhat unwillingly into the media's glare. So really, she only has herself to blame. Though, like Gail Collins, I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

This just in: Levi has apparently agreed to pose for Playgirl, albeit in skivvies. And no, I will not be checking out his spread.

In other news... Michael Jackson, now dead and buried.... Mark Sanford still governor of South Carolina.... Rod Blagojevich's tell-all hits bookstores September 8.... Jon & Kate still filled with hate.... And a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to friend of the blog Dave S.