I once had a supervisor who repeatedly told me, "No one wants to know how the sausage is made." Actually, though, I find sausage making fascinating. But maybe that's just me. In fact, I have, over the years, developed a growing fascination with how things -- all kinds of things -- are made and enjoy watching shows like "How It's Made" and "John Ratzenberger's Made in America." But some things, I don't want to know about -- and yet I do anyway.
Herewith a (partial) list of "Things I don't want to know about... but do," in no particular order, which I invite all of you to add to. And btw, I am not advocating ignorance (though I hear it can be bliss) of any kind or a lack of transparency in government. I just wish we lived in a safer, saner, healthier, Bush Administration-free world.
Cancer*
- Terrorist threats (particularly the unverified, unspecified kind that still get talked up on the news)
- That there are people out there who want to (and do) harm children
The sex lives of people I know
- The sex lives of people I don't know (see politicians, priests, polygamists)
How much oral sex middle-schoolers are having (Can't I keep my head in the sand a little longer? Please?)
Boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs
- All the possible side effects of the various prescription drugs constantly advertised on TV (special honors to the makers of Viagra and Cialis)
Lyrics to songs I can't stand listening to (with the exception of "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)")
- The state of my daughter's and husband's closet and dresser drawers
The chance of a particle accelerator creating a tiny black hole (or a dragon, though that would be cool)
Why dogs sniff each other's butts
That there are parents who give their children names like Loser and Shithead (read Freakonomics) or Charman Toilette, Chastity Beltz, Wrigley Fields, Justin Credible, and Tiny Bimbo (though actually I find some of these names quite amusing)
What that guy in the SUV next to me (or behind me or in front of me) is listening to on his tricked-out, bass-turned-way-up audio system
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld
If any of the Presidential candidates did drugs in their youth (and by extension what politicians do in their private lives -- see "Sex lives of people I don't know" -- as long as it's not illegal, does not involve taxpayer dollars or harm taxpayers, and is not revoltingly hypocritical, i.e., is not directly counter to why we elected this person)
- How animals (chicken, pigs, cattle) are raised for slaughter
- Soylent Green
To be continued...
*For those who don't know about Dr. Randy F. Pausch, a computer scientist and father of three young children who has pancreatic cancer, and want or need some inspiration, read this and check out the links -- but have a big box of tissues handy.
Stay tuned for "Things I wish I did know... but don't."
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